»ŪÓŮÚūŗŪŪŻŚ ˇÁŻÍŤ

“ŚŗÚū


Portion  I.
1.  Michael  Gosselynís  office  was  furnished  in  good  taste.   Everyone
 who  came  there  realized  at  once  that  it  was  an   office   of   the
manager  of  a  first  class  theatre.   The   walls   had   been   panelled
and  on  them  hung  engravings  of  theatrical  pictures  by  Zoffany   and
 de  Wilde.  The   carved   furniture   was   solid.   Only   a   specialist
could  guess  that  it  was  not  the  real  Chippendale.
Everybody  knew  that  Michael  was  very  thrifty  and  ran   the   theatre
on  business-like  lines.  The  decorator  had  to   accept   the   clientís
terms  and  made  the  most  of  what  he  had.  The   room   was   designed
to   make   an   impression   of   prosperity   at   the   least    possible
expense.
Michael  was  extremely  proud   of   his   office   and   Julia,  who   saw
through  him, couldnít  help  smiling  at  the  complacency  on  his  face.
2.   Julia   realized   what   a   treat   it   would   be   for   a   young
accountant  to  have  breakfast  at  her  place, she  was  just   not   sure
if  it  would  be  proper  to  invite  him.  Julia  gave  him   a   doubtful
look.  His  confusion  was  so  touching, he   blushed   scarlet.   It   was
clear  that  the  sight  of  the  famous  actress  took  his  breath   away.
  He   admired   her   so   frankly   that   Julia   couldnít    but    feel
flattered.  His  attitude  made  her  feel  larger   than   life-size,  made
her  the  greatest  actress.  And  a  great  actress   must   be   generous.
Itís  generosity  that  distinguishes  a  great   actress.   Julia   thought
that  she  could  make  an  exception  for   him.    The   young   man   was
invited.
3.  Jimmie  Langton  was  running  a  repertory   theatre   at   Middlepool.
He  was  a  talented  director.   At   first   sight   it   seemed   strange
that  actors  agreed  to  work  in  his  theatre.   He   worked   his   cast
hard.  He  screamed  at  them, he  bullied  them, he   underpaid   them,  he
mocked  them  and  drove  them  like  slaves.
He  had  such  a  passion  for   the   theatre,  that   the   actors    felt
that  they  couldnít  afford  to  let  him  down.  It  gave  them   a   sort
of  satisfaction  to  comply  with  his   outrageous   demands   to   please
him.
Jimmie  had   wanted   to   be   an   actor   himself,  but   his   physique
practically  prevented  him  from  going  on  the   stage.   He   was   fat,
bald-headed  and  looked   like   one  of   Rubensí   prosperous   burghers.
Besides, he  was  a  bad  actor.
4.  Julia  was  a  born  actress   and   she   had   no   doubt   that   she
would  go  on  the   stage.   Her   career   was   singularly   lacking   in
hardship.
Her  first  teacher  was  an  old  French  actress, who   taught   her   all
necessary  things : how  to  walk  and  how   to   hold   herself   on   the
stage, how  to  articulate  distinctly  and  how  to  use   her   sense   of
timing, which  Julia  had  by  instinct.  She  was  quick-studied.
A  certain  number  of  tricks  that  Julia  had  learned  from  her,  later
 turned  to  be  out  of  date  and  Julia  had  to   get   rid   of   them.
She  had  to  acquire  a  more  conversational  style   to    be   able   to
act  in  modern  plays.  But   she   always   thought   of   Jane   Taitbout
with  gratitude.
5.  Michaelís   father   was   a   Colonel.   Neither   he   nor   Michaelís
mother  approved  of  the  idea   of   Michaelís   going   on   the   stage.
Though  they  had  to  submit   to   that,  they   insisted   that   Michael
should  be  educated   like   a   gentleman.   Old   Mr.  Gosselyn   was   a
pensioner, but  still, he  managed  to  send  Michael   to   Cambridge   and
dreamt  that  Michael  would  excel  there.
Michael  was  proud  of  his  ancestry.  He  wore  the  signet   ring   with
the  family  stamp  ó  a  boarís  head  ó  and  a  Latin  motto : ďNemo   me
 impune  lacessitĒ.  On  the  whole, he   wasnít   a   snob,  but   he   was
shocked  to  learn  that  Juliaís  father  was  a  vet.
6.  Michael  was   determined   to   go   into   management   and   make   a
career.  He  thought  that  there  was  only  one  way  of  becoming   well-
off  ó  that  is  to  be  oneís  own  master.
They  could  start  on  the  minimum  of  five  thousand   pounds.  He   had
 no  idea  how  to  raise  a  sum  like  that.  He   could   hardly   expect
to  borrow  money  as  he  didnít   know   anyone   who   could   lend   him
that  sum.  However, Michael   hoped   that   an   old   rich   lady   would
support  him.
Michael  knew  that  one  couldnít  hope  to  make  a  success  in   London,
unless  he  was  unknown.  One  had  got  to  know   the   ropes.   If   one
made  a  good  reputation  in  London,  it   would   be   easier   to   find
backers.

Portion  II.
1.  Though  Michael  told  Julia  a  lot  about  his   family,  she   wasnít
aware  that   they   knew   about   her   existence.   That   is   why   she
couldnít  but  be   surprised   to   receive   a   letter   from   Michaelís
mother  who  invited  her  to  Cheltenham  for  Holy  Week.   The   prospect
of  spending  a  whole  week  with   Michael   was   enchanting.   It   took
her  breath   away  to  think  of  it  and   she   look   forward   to   the
holidays.
It  didnít  take  her  long   to   discover   that   Michael   had   brought
her  down  to   Cheltenham   for   his   parents   to   inspect   her.   The
thought  flashed  through  her  mind  that  there  was  only  one   possible
 reason  for  it.  When   she  thought  of  it, her  heart  leaped.
2.  Michael  was  anxious  for  Julia  to  make   a   good   impression   on
his  parents.  Julia   realized   soon   that   she   would   be   able   to
enchant  them.  As  a  matter  of  fact, she  was  aware   that    she   was
able  to  enchant  anybody.  It  was  clear  that  Michaelís  parents   were
 not  fond  of  the  idea  that  their   son   was   going   to   marry   an
actress.  Julia  instinctively  felt   that   she   had   to   conceal   the
actress  and  play  the  part  of  a  modest  ingenious  girl.
Michaelís  mother  was  happy  to   learn  that  Julia  wasnít  made-up   or
 loud.  No  one  would  dream  that  Julia  was  on  the   stage.   Besides,
she  was  head  over  ears  in  love  with  her   son   and   it   flattered
her  motherly  pride.
Julia  gave  a  perfect  performance  of  the  village  maiden.
3.  Michael  had  affection   and   admiration  for   Julia,  he   felt   at
ease  with  her.  But  he  took  her   love   for   granted   and   it   was
obvious  that   he   wasnít   in   love   with   her.   It   was   no   good
deceiving  herself.
At  first  this  made  Julia  unhappy.  Now  and  then  she   lost   control
of  herself  and  made  him  frantic  scenes.
But  then  she   began    to   doubt   if   he   was   capable   of   loving
anybody.  It   didnít  seem  worth  while    to   suffer   from   it.   Soon
Julia  was  content  to  love   Michael   whereas   he   allowed    her   to
love  him.
4.  When  Julia  found  out   that   an   American   manager   had   offered
Michael  a  part, her  heart  sank.  She  had  to  exercise  all  her  self-
control  to   pretend  that  she  was   as   excited   as   he   was.    But
when  Julia  remained  alone, she  lost  control  of   herself   and   began
to   cry  in  earnest.
In  America  Michael  was  going    to  save  every  cent   he   could,  so,
in  two  years he  expected  to  have  the  best  part  of   four   thousand
pounds.
5.  When  Julia  realized  that  she   had   fallen   out   of   love   with
Michael,  she  fell  into   despair.   She   felt   that   she    had   lost
something  that  was  infinitely  precious   to   her.   Her   heart   sank.
She  was  displayed.  She  was  inclined  to   cry,  because   her   fortune
had  failed  her.
But  when  she  had   thought  it  over,  her   grief   made   a   way    to
relief.  Now  she  was  her  own  mistress  and   not   a   slave   of   her
love.  Now  she  looked  at  Michael  not  with  the   eyes   of   a   woman
in  love  but  with  shrewd  penetrating  eyes.  Yes,  it   was   great   to
be  free  and  she  would  be  able  to  make  the  most  of  her  freedom.

Portion  III.
1.  As  soon  as  the  war  ended  Michael  began  to  work  as   an   actor
and  soon  gained  a  reputation  in  London.
He  spared  no  effort  to  force  managers   to   pay   him    the   salary
he  thought  he  was  worth,  but   if   he   couldnít   get   it,  he   was
prepared  to  take  less.
He  still  thought  of  going  into   management,  but   though   they   had
saved  seven  thousand  pounds, the  sum  was  inadequate.
Mrs. de  Vries  came  to  their  rescue.  She  agreed  to   put   up   money
and  become  their  partner.
2.   As  time  went  on, Michael  took  to  directing.   He    still   acted
occasionally,  but  less  frequently  than  earlier.  When   he   said    he
was  going  to  direct   their   next   play,  Julia   was   doubtful.   She
suspected   that  nothing   good  would  come  of   it.   Michael   had   no
fantasy  and  his  ideas   were    commonplace.  But   he   made    a   much
  better   job  of  it, than  Julia   expected.  As   he    knew   perfectly
well  what  Julia  was  capable,  he  was  able   to   get   more   out   of
her  than  any  other  director.
With  the  cast  he  was  friendly,  but   exacting.   When   tempers   grew
frayed, his  good  humour,   his  real  kindness  smoothed  things  over.
3.  Michaelís  complacency  exasperated  Julia.  He  beamed  with   pleasure
 when  he  managed  to  beat  an  opponent  at  golf  or  get   the   better
of  someone  in  a  business  deal.
Besides,  he   was   a   crashing   bore.   He   liked   to    tell    Julia
everything  he  did  and  every  scheme  that  passed  through   his   mind.
It  had  been  charming  to  listen   to   Michael,  when   she   was   head
over  ears  in  love  with  him, but   after   she   had   fallen   out   of
love  with  him, Julia  had  to  exercise  all  her   tact   not   to   show
him  he  was  bored  to  death.
More  over, he   was   outrageously   vain   of   his   appearance.   As   a
youth, he  had  taken  his   beauty   for   granted,  but   with   advancing
years, he  began  to  pay  more  attention  to  it  and  spared   no   pains
to  keep  what  was  left  of  it.  It  became  an  obsession.
4.  Evie  was  Juliaís  maid  and  dresser.  She   had   been   in   Juliaís
employment  for  a  long  time.  Evie  was  a   cockney.   One   could   get
it  at  once  by  listening  to  her  speech.  She  was  thin, angular   and
 her  red  hair  always  looked  as  if  it  needed  washing.  Two  of   her
 front  teeth  were  missing.  No   matter   how   hard   Julia   tried   to
provide  her  with  new  ones, all  her  efforts  were  in  vain.
Michael  thought  that  Evieís   appearance   wasnít   suitable   to   their
position  and  tried  to  persuade  Julia  to   have   another   maid.   But
Julia  paid  no  attention  to  his   dissatisfaction.   She   was   content
to  have  Evie  as  her  maid  and  dresser, she   only   wanted   Evie   to
break  herself  of  the  habit  of  sniffing  all  the  time.  Evie  was   a
 skilful  maid, she  had  never  let  Julia  down.  She  had   the   courage
to  say  to  Juliaís  face  what  she  thought  of  her.  It  amused   Julia
 greatly.

Portion  IV.
1.  Julia  had  a  lot  of   acquaintances   among   aristocrats.   As   she
was  such  a  famous  actress, they  made  much  of   her   and   went   out
of  their  way  to  be  nice  to  her.  She  could   boast   of   the   fact
that  she  could  call  some  duchesses  by  their  first  names.
The  papers  often  put   pictures   where   Julia   was   photographed   at
week-end  parties  among  a  number  of   aristocratic   persons.   It   was
good  publicity.  But  at  the   bottom   of   her   heart,  Julia   had   a
profound  contempt  for  the  great   ladies   and   noble   lords,  because
they  lived  in  idleness  and  she  was  an  artist.   When   she   had   a
chance, she  was  glad  to  put  them  in  their  place.  She   laughed   at
these  smart  women  up  her  sleeve, because  they  were  dazzled  by   her
 glamour  and  had   no   idea   of   how   unromantic   the   life   of   a
successful  actress  was  and  the  hard  work  it  entailed.
2.   Charles   Tamerley   was   Juliaís   best   friend.   He    had    such
exquisite  manners, that  one  could  see   at   once,  how   well-bred   he
was.  He  was  an  amateur  of  the  arts  and  well-read.  Before   meeting
 Charles, Julia   had   been   completely   ignorant.   He   took   her   to
museums, imparted  information  to  her.  Julia  had  a  good   memory   and
soon  she  could  pass  for  a  cultured  woman   as   she   was   able   to
talk   about   literature   and   art.   Julia   couldnít   help   but    be
conscious  of  how  much  she  owed  to   him.   Yet,  his   love   of   art
filled  her  with  a  faint  derision.  After  all,  she   was   a   creator
and  he  was  only  a  spectator.
3.  Julia  took  Charles  fancy  twenty  years   ago   and   he   had   been
madly  in  love  with  her  ever  since.  When   finally   he   plucked   up
the  courage  to  make  a  declaration  of   love,  Julia   got   into   his
head  that  there  was  nothing  doing.  Exercising  all  her   tact,  Julia
managed   to   convince   Charles   that   they   should   remain   friends.
Charles  was  her  adviser, her  confidant.  She  could   count   upon   him
coming  to  her  rescue  in  any  case.  He  never  let  her  down.
4.  Julia  realized  that  Tom  could  hardly  afford   to   entertain   her
and  she  was  taken  by  his  desire  to  please  her.
He  said  he  had  forgotten  to  put  his   watch   on   because   he   had
dressed  in  a  hurry.  But  one  look  at  him  was   enough   to   realize
that  he  had  taken  a  lot  of  trouble  to  look  smart.
When  it  dawned  on  her  that  he  must   have   pawned   his   watch   to
take  her  out  to  supper, she  was  inclined  to  cry.  She   might   have
offered  to  pay  the  bill, but  checked  herself  in  time.  It  was   out
 of  the  question.  It  would  have  hurt  his  pride.

Portion  V.
1.  When  Julia  realized  that  she  had  fallen  in  love  with  Tom,  she
 was  shocked.  She  was  determined  to  keep  her   head.   She   couldnít
afford  to  open  her  true  feelings  because  she  knew  very  well   that
 Tom  wasnít  in  love  with  her.  She  had  to  admit   that   an   affair
with  her  flattered  Tomís  vanity.
Julia  did  her  best  to  make  it  plain  to  him   that   she   laid   no
claims  on  him  and  he  was  free  to   do   whatever   he   wanted.   She
pretended  that  she  was  a  good  actress.   She   promised   to   herself
that  she  wouldnít  be  jealous, she  wouldnít   make   him   any   scenes,
she  would  be  tolerant  and  would  take  things   as   they   came.   She
did  everything  she  could  to  bind  him  to  her.
2.  Tom  had  a  passion  for  titles.  He  read  about  grand   people   in
newspapers  and  now  and   then   saw   them   in   a   restaurant   or   a
theatre  in  the  flesh.  He  was  dazzled  by  grand  people.  Tom  was   a
 snob.  But  that  was  to  the  good.  Julia  hoped  to   make   the   most
of  Tomís  failing  to  bind  him  to  her.  On  one  excuse  and   another,
she  invited  him  to  grand  parties   she   gave,  persuaded   Dolly   and
Charles  to  invite  him  to  lunch, got  invitations  for  him  to  balls.
Poor  lamb !  He  looked   forward   to   every   opportunity   of   getting
acquainted  with  eminent  people.
Luckily, Michael  took  a  fancy  to  him.  He  even   thought   Tom   could
have  a  good  influence  on  Roger.
Tom  made  a  great  hit  with  Juliaís  friends  too.   He   was   a   good
listener  and  could  give  a  piece  of  useful  advice  on  finance.
3.  Something  was  bothering   Tom.   He   looked   gloomy   and   nervous.
When  Julia  found  out  that  he  had  got  into   debt,  she   immediately
offered  to  pay  all  his  debts.  But  sometimes  Tom  was   so   out   of
date.  He  couldnít  sponge  on  women.  Julia  blamed  herself   that   she
had  led  Tom  into  the  life  that  he  couldnít  afford.  She  tried   to
 convince  him  that  he  shouldnít  drudge  her  the  pleasure  of   coming
 to  his  rescue, when  he  was  at  a  loose  end.  Using  all   her   arts
of  persuasion, she  was  able  to  convince  Tom  to  borrow   money   from
her.
4.  Julia  and  Michael  were  rich  enough  to  send  their  son  to   Eton
 and  then  to  Cambridge.
Roger  was  seventeen  years  old.  He  didnít  look  like  his  mother   or
 father.  He  had  no  inclination  for  the  world  of  the   theatre.   He
held  himself  in  some   serious   way   aloof   from   his   parents   and
their  friends, though   he   was   always   very   polite   to   everybody,
Julia  suspected, that  he  took  none   of   them   seriously.   He   never
bothered  Julia  and  he  seemed  quite  capable  of  amusing  himself.
Though  Julia  loved  him  very  much, he  puzzled  her.  She  thought   him
 dull  and  not  very  intelligent.  When  she  was  alone  with  him,  time
 dragged  on.
When  Roger  was  a  child, Julia   would   often   be   photographed   with
him  and  these  photos  made   a   great   hit.   She   wished   he   could
always  remain  the  sweet  pretty  little  boy  he  used  to  be.

Portion  VI.
1.  It  was  no  good  deceiving  herself :  Tom   didnít   love   her.   He
was  her  lover  only  because  it  flattered  his  vanity  and   gave   him
confidence   in   himself.   Besides,  he   got   acquainted    with    many
distinguished  persons  through  her.  It  turned  his   head   to   realize
that  he  was  on  familiar  terms  with  some  of  them.  Julia  tried   to
 do  her  best  to  bind  him.  She  encouraged  him   to   be   extravagant
to  make  him  realize  that  he  couldnít   do   without   her.   Tom   was
anxious  to  join  a  good  club  and  she   was   preparing   the   ground.
She  understood  perfectly  that  their  affair  couldnít   last,  but   she
wasnít  able  to  give  up  Tom.
2.  Julia  wasnít  happy  at  all  to  find  out  that  Tom   was   becoming
more  and  more  popular  with  her  grand  friends.  They  were   glad   to
make  the  most  of  his  financial  knowledge  and  in  their   turn   they
told  their  friends  about  him.  It  was  through  Julia, that  Tom   used
 to   be   asked   to   parties   before.   Then   he   began   to   receive
invitations  from  people, whom  Julia  didnít  know.  It  seemed  that   he
 could  do  without  her.  He  was   busy   nearly   all   the   time.   His
casualness  hurt  Julia.  Now  she  was  ready  to  cut  any  date  to   see
 him.  Julia  was  jealous  of  those  distinguished  ladies, whom  he   met
 in  society.  She  had  a  law  opinion  of  their  virtue  and  was   sure
 that  they  could  do  everything.  Those   thoughts   rankled   her.   The
only  comfort  was  that  all  of  them  were  very   greedy   and   without
Juliaís  money  Tom  wouldnít  be  able  to  lead  a   life,  he   had   got
used  to.  Or  he  would  have  to   break   himself   of   the   habit   of
throwing  his  money  about.
3.  Julia  was  shocked  to  find  out  that  people  had   been   gossiping
about  her.  Her  reputation  had  been  so  good  for   many   years,  that
she  thought  she  could  afford  to  do  every  thing  she  wanted.
It  was  Michael, who  first  noticed  that.   He   accused   Tom   jokingly
of  compromising  Julia.  At  first   Julia   was   taken   aback,  but   at
last  she  could  keep  her  presence   of   mind.   She   was   sure,  that
Michael  wasnít  jealous  of  Tom.  He  was  too  self-satisfied  and  self-
confident  for  that.  He  thought  he  knew  Julia  inside  and   out,  but
in  fact, he  knew  nothing  about  her.  He  paid  no  attention   to   the
gossip  and  he   didnít   mind   Julia   having   some   fun.   But   Julia
couldnít  forget  his  remark, it  gave  her  no  rest.
She  racked  her  brains  to  understand  who  could   have   told   it   to
him.  Then  suddenly  it  occurred   to   her,  that   it   was   Dolly,  no
doubt.
4.  Julia  was  furious  with  Dolly.  She   wouldnít   stand   interference
with  her  private  life.  That  was  none  of  her  business.
Julia  was  determined  to  have  the  matter  out  with  Dolly.  She   rang
 her  up  to  make  an  appointment.  Dollyís   voice   sounded   cold   and
hostile.  Julia  had  always   been   able   to   turn   Dolly   round   her
finger, but  now  she  could  hardly  convince  Dolly  to  come.
When  they  met, they  talked  about  indifferent  things, and  then   Julia
 got  down  to  the  point.  She   never   took   her   eyes   off   Dollyís
face  while  talking.  She  failed  to  convince  Dolly  that   Tom   wasnít
her  lover.  But  Dolly  pretended  that   she   believed   her   and   said
Julia  had  taken  a  great  weight  off  her  mind.

Portion  VII.
1.  Julia  had  already  heard  the  name  of   Avice   Crichton   mentioned
a  few  times.  She  knew, that  there  was  some  talk  that  this   small-
part  actress  would  perhaps  get  a  part  in  a  play  they  were   going
 to  put  on.  So,  when   Michael   once   mentioned   her,  Julia   wasnít
taken  aback.  Michael  said  that  Tom  had  put  in  a  word  for   Avice.
 Michael  thought  it  was  worth  while  to  go  and   have   a   look   at
her, but  as   he   was   busy   on   Sunday,  he   asked   Julia   to   go.
Yielding  to  curiosity, Julia  agreed.  Tom  was  to  go  with   her.   But
long  before  Julia  had  seen  her, she  made  up  her  mind   that   Avice
would  never  get  a  part  in  their  theatre.
2.  Julia  was  relieved  to  see  that  Avice  Crichton  couldnít  act   to
 toffee.  This  fact  took  a  great  weight  off  her  mind.
When  the  curtain  fell, Tom  said  that  he   wished   Julia   go   behind
and  congratulate  Avice.  Julia  was  so   amazed,  that   at   first,  she
didnít  know  if  she  should  burst  into  laughter  or  get   angry.   But
she  got  over  her  amazement.   She   was   determined   to   go   through
with  it.
Though  Avice  didnít  seem  to  be  nervous  and  was  self-assured,  Julia
 wasnít  taken  in  by  her  grand  manners.  It  even  amused  her.   Julia
 saw  that  Avice  was  anxious  to  get  this  part.
3.  Tom  was  head  over  ears  in  love  with  Avice.   As   soon   as   he
could, he  brought  the  conversation  to  her.  It   irked   him   to   see
Julia  home.
Julia  knew  that  she  must  put  an  end  to   their   affair,  she   must
get  over  it.  The  theatre  was  her  only  refuge.   She   felt   relief,
when  it  was  time  to  go  there.  Merely   to   be   inside   a   theatre
rested  her.  In  ordinary  life  she  had  to  stifle   her   passion   and
her  anguish, but  on  the  stage  she  let  herself  go.
She  had  never  put  more  of  herself  into  a  part.
4.  Although  Michael  himself  might  not  be   a   good   actor,  but   he
knew  good  acting  from  bad.  So  he  saw   at   once   that   Julia   was
acting   like   hell,  she   was   exaggerating   and    over-acting.    Her
performance  was  rotten.
Michael  blamed  only  himself.  Julia  needed  a  good   rest.   He   ought
to  have  insisted  on  her  taking  holiday  long   ago.   He   said   they
would  revive  some  play.  He  was  even   prepared   to   suffer   losses.
The  only  thing, that  mattered, was  Juliaís  health.  Once  again   Julia
 was  struck  by  his  magnanimity.   Michael   was   the   only   man   she
could  rely  on.  He  would  never  let  her  down.
5.  She  decided   to   go   and   stay   with   her   mother.   Madame   de
Lambert, as  Michael  insisted  on  calling  her, was  an  old   lady   well
over  seventy.  Julia  had  a  feeling   that   in   the   course   of   her
brilliant  career, she  had  a  trifle  neglected  her   mother.   Now   she
could  make  up  for  it.
Her  mother  and  aunt  led  drab  monotonous  lives  and  it  would  be   a
 great  joy  for  them  to  have  her  on  a  long  visit.  And  for   Julia
 it  was  an  opportunity  to  cut  herself  off  completely  for   a   time
from  her  old  life  and  regain  serenity.
Julia, to  her  great  amazement, soon   discovered   that   to   them   her
celebrity  was  an  embarrassment  rather  than  an   asset.   They   didnít
even  offer  to  take  her  with  them  to  pay  calls.  Julia   was   taken
aback, when  they  said  that  it  would  be  better  if  she  didnít   tell
 anyone   that   she   was   an   actress.   But   her   sense   of   humour
prevailed  and  she  felt  inclined  to  laugh.
They  made  much  fuss  of  her  not  because  she  was  a  great   actress,
but  because  she  was  in  poor  health  and  needed  a  rest.

Portion  VIII.
1.  Julia  often  had  to  listen  to  womenís   stories   about   how   men
followed  them  in  the  street, how  they  tried  to   catch   their   eye,
and  how  it  was  difficult  to  get  rid   of   them.   It   seemed   very
flattering  to  Julia.   She   often   wondered   why   sheíd   never   been
followed.  It  wasnít  as  if  she  had  no  sex   appeal.   And   what   if
not ?  Julia  decided  to  put  the  matter  to  the  test.   She   had   to
be  sure.
Julia   took   much   pains   to   look   neither   too   plain   nor    too
respectable.  A  slight  smile  hovered  her  lips.  Several   times   Julia
caught  her  breath  catching   a   manís   eye   and   expecting   him   to
start  following  her, but  they  all   passed   by   without   paying   any
attention  to  her.  It  was  humiliating.  It  flashed  through  her   mind
 that  she  had  chosen  the  wrong  street.  But  there  was   nothing   to
 do.
2.  Julia  almost  lost  all  hope  of  being  picked   up.   Suddenly   she
noticed  a  young  man  looking  at  her   and   never   taking   his   eyes
off  her.  She   slandered   her   pace   feeling   him   behind.   It   was
beginning  to  look   like   an   adventure.   Julia   looked   forward   to
getting  into  conversation  with  the  young  man.   It   was   interesting
what  he  would  offer.  Julia  looked  at  him   doubtfully.   Judging   by
his  appearance, it  was  quite   clear   that   he   couldnít   afford   to
invite   her   to   a   restaurant.   She   looked   him   in    the    face
encouraging  him  to  start  speaking.   But   then   suddenly   he   called
her  by  her  name.  She  was  so  astonished,  that   she   nearly   jumped
out  of  her  skin.
3.  Julia   looked   forward   to   the   beginning   of   the   rehearsals.
Though  Julia  had  been  on  the  stage   for   many   years,  every   time
she  tried  a  new  part  she  didnít  feel  like   a   leading   lady,  but
as  if  she  was  a  girl  playing  her  first  part.  She   was   glad   to
meet  with  other  members  of  the  cast.  Most  of  them  she  knew   very
 well.  Only  with  actors  she  felt  at  ease.  She  was  one   of   them.
This  atmosphere  of  make-believe  was  the  only  one  where   she   could
breathe.
Besides,  the   rehearsals   distracted    her    mind    from    disturbing
thoughts.  She  felt  that  soon  she  would  be  able  to  get   over   her
sorrow.  Now  Tom  was  his  own  master.  She  didnít   care   two   straws
for  him.
4.  Julia  greeted  Avice.  They  talked  about   indifferent   things,  but
Julia  watched  her  out  of  the  corners  of   her   eyes.   Michael   was
disappointed   after   the   first   rehearsal.   It   seemed   she   wasnít
capable  of  taking  directions.  He   was   ready   to   dismiss   her   at
once.  But  Julia  couldnít  let   it   happen.   Tom   would   think   that
Avice  was  dismissed  because  Julia  was  jealous  of   him.   Julia   had
enough  influence  on  Michael  to  make  him  keep  Avice  in   the   cast.
She  suggested  that  Michael  should  go  through  the  part   with   Avice
in   private.   In   that   case   sheíd   be   able   to   give   a    good
performance.  Besides, it  was  an  iron  cast  part.  It   was   impossible
to  spoil  it.   But   at   the   bottom   of   her   heart   Julia   always
remembered  that  she  would  have   to   get   even   with   Avice.   Sheíd
never  make  a  success.  Sheíd  fail  and  Julia  would  see  to  it.   And
 it  would  make  up  for  her  anguish.

Portion  IX.
1.  Julia  couldnít  dismiss  from  her  mind   the   curious   conversation
she  had  had  with  Roger.  She  felt  uneasy  because   he   accused   her
of  lacking  in  personality, he  said  that  Julia   didnít   exist   apart
from  her  roles.
She  had  a  talk  with  Charles  about   Roger.   But   he   didnít   share
her  feelings.  He  seemed  to  sympathise  more  with   Roger   than   with
her.  In  some  way  he   took   Roger   seriously.   Charles   told   Julia
that  she  had  nothing  to  worry  about, things   would   straighten   out
for  Roger  after  a  while.  She  should  just  leave  him  alone.
Having  heard  it, Julia  felt  ill  at  ease.   Roger   was   thankful   to
her, because  she  had  always  let  him  lead  his  own  life.  It   seemed
  strange  that  such  different   people  thought  alike.
2.  The  first  night  was  special  in  Juliaís  life.  In  by-gone   years
 she  had  been  extremely  nervous   before   it.   Since   early   morning
she  began  to  feel  slightly  sick  and  towards  evening   she   was   so
worked  up, that  she  was  about  losing  her  presence  of  mind.
But  now, after  having  passed  through  that   ordeal   so   many   times,
she  had  learnt  to  check  her  nervousness.  But  still,  by   the   time
the  play  was  to  be  begun, she  started  feeling  ill   at   ease,  grew
irritable.  Those, who  knew  her  well  enough, took  care  to   keep   out
of  her  way.  The  necessity  to  speak  to  people   irritated   her,  she
wished  everyone  would  leave  her  alone.
But  at  the  bottom  of  her  heart, Julia  had   a   notion   that   their
new  play  would  be  a  hit.  She  looked  forward  to   the   moment   she
would  face  the   hall,  packed   with   people   and   would   demonstrate
again  her  power  over  the  public.
3.  Michael  was  the  only   one,  who   guessed   that   Julia   had   let
Avice  down.  His  eyes  were   shining   with   complacency.   He   thought
that  Julia  had  played  such  a  trick  because   she   was   jealous   of
Avice  to  him.  He  couldnít  but  feel  flattered.  As  Julia   knew   her
husband  inside  and  out, she  had  a   notion   what   he   was   thinking
about.  She  laughed  up  her  sleeve   at   his   mistake.   One   couldnít
cure  him  of  his  complacency.   It   would   be   better   to   let   him
think  what  he  wanted.  She  really   was   inclined   to   laugh,  though
she  checked  herself, she  couldnít  conceal  a  slight  smile.
She  had  settled  a  score  with  Avice.  She  deserved  it   because   she
had  a  trial  to  stay  in  her  way.
4.  Now  Julia  was  free  from  the  bonds, which  had  burdened   her   so
much.  She  had  got  over  her  pain  and  was   relishing   her   freedom.
She   had   been   such   a   fool   to   take   Tom   and   their    affair
seriously.  But  that  had  been  amusing, and  it  could  come  in   useful
 for  a  new  part.
Roger  had  said  that  her  acting  was  a  make-believe.  But  that  make-
believe  was  the  only  reality  for   her.   She   was   an   artist,  who
used  peopleís  feelings  and  her  own  as   a   material   for   the   art
and  beauty  creation.


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