Illustration: Yelena Bryksenkova

The best exit is always through. ~ Robert Frost

“I am sitting in my hospital bed waiting for both breasts to be removed. But in a strange way, I feel lucky. So far I have had no health problems. I am a 69-year-old woman… In a few hours I saw dozens of cancer patients in wheelchairs and on gurneys. And none of them were over 17…”.

This is an excerpt from my grandmother's diary dated September 16, 1977. I read it about 10 years ago. He will remind me that there is always something to be grateful for. And no matter how good or bad I feel, I have to wake up every day and be thankful for life, because someone somewhere is desperately fighting for it, writes writer and blogger Mark Chernov.

The truth is that happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Here are some reminders of this:

1. Pain is part of growth.

Sometimes life closes the door because it's time to move forward. This is even good, because often we do not start moving until circumstances force us to. When times get tough, remind yourself that there is no pain without a purpose. Move on from what hurts you, but never forget the lesson she teaches you. Just because you're struggling doesn't mean you're failing. Every big success requires a decent fight. Everything will be alright; most likely not in a moment, but eventually everything will be ... Remember that there are two types of pain: pain that hurts and pain that changes you. Instead of resisting this pain, let it help you.

2. Everything in our life is temporary.

Whenever it rains, we know it will end. Every time you get hurt, the wound heals. After the night there always comes the day - every morning reminds you of this, but nevertheless you often forget it and believe that the night will last forever. Nothing lasts forever. And this too shall pass.

If everything is good right now, enjoy it, because it won't last forever. If things are bad, don't worry - and it's not forever. Just because life isn't easy at the moment doesn't mean you can't laugh. If something bothers you, it does not mean that you cannot smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. Every second you get a second chance. The chance you must take.

3. Worrying and complaining won't change anything.

Those who complain the most achieve the least. It is always better to try and fail than to do nothing and succeed. Nothing is over if you have lost; it's all over, if you're only complaining. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don't let the shadows of the past obscure your future. Let the experience you gain improve your life. And no matter what happens in the end, remember that true happiness only comes when you stop complaining about your problems and start being grateful for all the problems you don't have.

4. Your scars are symbols of your power.

Never be ashamed of the scars that life has given you. A scar means that there is no more pain and the wound has healed. This means that you have conquered the pain, learned the lesson, become stronger and have moved on. The scar is a tattoo of triumph. Don't let your scars hold you hostage. Don't let them make you live in fear. You can't make scars disappear, but you can start to see them as a sign of strength.

Rumi once said: The wound is where the Light enters you.". Nothing can be closer to the truth. Out of suffering came the strongest souls; the most influential people in this big world marked with scars. Look at your scars as a slogan: “YES! I DID IT! I survived and I have scars to prove it! And now I have a chance to become even stronger.”

5. Every little struggle is a step forward.

Patience is not waiting; it is in the ability to save good mood by working hard for your dreams. So if you're going to try it, go all the way. Otherwise, there is no point in starting. This may mean a loss of stability and comfort for a while. You may not be able to eat what you are used to or sleep as much as you are used to for weeks on end. This may mean changing your comfort zone. It can mean sacrificing relationships and everything you know. This may mean the appearance of time that you will spend alone. But it is loneliness that makes many things possible. This is a kind of endurance test, on how much you really want to achieve the goal. And then you will understand that the struggle is not an obstacle on the way, it is the way. And he's worth it. There is no better feeling in the world... than knowing you are ALIVE.

6. Other people's negativity is not your problem.

Be confident when bad things surround you. Smile when others try to beat you. This is an easy way to keep your enthusiasm alive. When other people talk bad about you, keep being yourself. Don't let others change you. You can't take everything too close, even if it seems personal. Don't think that people are doing things for you. They do things for themselves.

First of all, never change in order to impress someone who says you're not good enough. Change if it makes you better and leads you to a brighter future. People will talk no matter what you do or how well you do it. All jokes aside, you only have one life. Therefore, do what makes you happy and be with those with whom you feel good.

7. What should be will eventually WILL be.

You are filled with strength when, instead of screaming and complaining, you prefer to smile and appreciate life. There are blessings in every struggle you face, but you must be willing to open your heart and mind to see them. You cannot make things happen. At some point you have to let go and let what is meant to happen happen.

Love your life, trust your intuition, take risks, lose and find happiness, learn through experience. It's a long ride. You have to stop worrying, questioning and doubting all the time. Laugh, live in every moment of life and enjoy life. You may not know exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive where you need to be.

8. The best thing you can do is keep moving.

Don't be afraid to get angry. Don't be afraid to love again. Don't let the cracks in your heart turn into scars. Realize that strength is increasing every day. Understand that courage is beautiful. Find in your heart what makes others smile. Remember that you don't need many people in your life, so don't strive to have more "friends". Be strong when the going gets tough. Remember that the universe always does what is right. Admit when you are wrong and learn from it. Always look back and see what you have achieved and be proud of yourself. Don't change for anyone if you don't want to. Do more. Live easier.

Just keep being YOU.
Keep growing. Keep moving.

Translation of the article "8 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong"

Good afternoon, Elena Anatolyevna. I am very worried about my personal life, I am 35 years old and still have never been married. There were relationships with men, even those who proposed marriage to me, but I found a reason (mostly the reason was their financial insolvency) and I broke up with the guy. I always choose men who have money problems, I do it almost deliberately, telling myself a "fairy tale" that he will become rich with me and we will get married. The relationship could last no more than a year, I am disappointed and find the following. In fact, I don’t give a man a chance, because different opinions begin to torment me, on the one hand, I think - I don’t want to waste time with him, it’s time for me (from the age of 25) to give birth to a child, when he starts earning money, it’s time for me to retire... And on the other hand, the thought gnaws at me, well, it has already happened, can be patient, believe in a man, maybe he will succeed... Such a thought is not stable, it disappears as soon as I see my girlfriends with their husbands and children, I begin to think that I, too, have long wanted certainty in life, they say why do I need these hopeless relationships, I find a lot of flaws in my man, I complain to my friends about how unhappy I am, and he is bad, my friends support me, because they only know the situation with one side and any of his deeds are examined under a microscope, with a negative color. Then the following begins - against whom are the girls friends? As a result, I leave the man and the next one is located and again the same situation. My last man was very patient, he knew about everything, without bad habits, but did not bring money into the house, because he had problems at work that I created for him, as a result, after a 4-month absence of money, I kicked him out of Houses. I am very ashamed, it hurts to write and realize this, I am confused in myself, in relationships, I am already tired of sorting out men, I am very tired of myself and this scenario of my life. Help me please.
p.s. I have repeatedly turned to psychologists, but nothing helped me, because I stopped therapy without reaching the end, also inventing quite "real" reasons for myself.

Psychologists Answers

Hello Albina. It was not possible to answer you immediately, I answer with some delay. Albina, no one is immune from such a state of confusion and confusion, this is not your fault, which means there is nothing to be ashamed of. The most important thing is that in spite of everything you do not give up, but look for a way out and ask for help. One of the important conditions for fruitful work is just the willingness to receive help. Why do I still talk about working with a psychologist? The reasons for your inner discomfort, in the form of tension, fear, anxiety, confusion, dissatisfaction with yourself, powerlessness, are hidden from you. They are in the unconscious realm, so you cannot find a way out and get what you want. There are effective short-term psychological methods to help identify the true causes of discomfort and restore access to the necessary resources. Moreover, this is not a course or a program. Significant relief and understanding is achieved already at the first meeting. Whether to come again depends on the client himself, his feelings as a result of the work done together with the psychologist. It may be hard for you to believe this, but I say this because I myself have been in the role of a client many times and now I help others in the same vein. Albina, according to my feelings, it is very difficult for you to trust a man. Next to him there are many claims, tension, control. There is a lot of "head" and no "heart". Those. you are constantly thinking, and feelings are forbidden. There are certain reasons for this, individual for you. They may be related to your life history or even someone from your ancestral system. You also have a lot of tension regarding financial position. This may also apply to more than just you. Everything is connected with your idea of ​​security, and these are very serious, deep experiences. All of this can be dealt with. Albina, blaming, reproaching yourself for failure in some area of ​​your life is a dead end. Believe me, not everything depends on the person himself, but how to dispose of some given is still up to us. If you are interested in my answer, and you are ready to risk meeting another psychologist, please contact me, I will be glad to help you. If a person has a request, a way out will be found. And one more thing: everything happens on time. All the best,

Osadchaya Elena Anatolyevna, psychologist Vladivostok

We live in good time, a time of freedom and prosperity. But still, trials break into everyone's life. Something happens and everything goes upside down.
When dealing with such problems, we must use common sense. But often, going this way, we get into a dead end. The Lord, allowing situations, difficulties in our lives, wants us to turn to Him.
What to do when trials come? This is where the Epistle of James can help us. From the first chapter, James explains where trials come from: “But everyone is tempted by being carried away and deceived by his own lust (James 1:14). It turns out that suffering is caused by one's own flesh. Although a Christian desires to live a righteous life, sometimes the flesh takes over. And this causes internal suffering, sometimes external. If a person tries to build anything without God, he will always experience difficulties.
Overcoming these difficulties, believers can grumble, be dissatisfied, doubt God's power, lose faith, look for the guilty. This is a dead end path.
But in James we read: “Does any of you suffer? let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? let him sing psalms” (James 5:13). The author of the epistle gave advice that we pay attention to our relationship with God. The word "afflicted" means those who are in trials, who suffer from evil. And Jacob recommends praying, developing a relationship with God, opening your whole soul to Him, asking for understanding and strength to endure this situation. When the answer is received - sing psalms, glorifying the Lord!
Tip two: check your relationship with the ministers: “Is any of you sick? let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord” (James 5:14). In this verse, the word “sick” means, in addition to a painful condition, also a test of a lack of strength, weakness of the spirit. If we ourselves cannot get out of this situation, we must turn to the brothers for help. They will pray over us, anointing with oil, olive oil, which is a symbol of God's grace, His presence, God's power. Anointing with oil contributes to healing, strengthening faith. At the same time, it is important not to turn oil into a fetish - a cult of inanimate things. The oil itself does not heal - the Lord heals.
Another piece of advice we receive is, "Confess your faults to one another and pray for one another" (James 5:16). What is our relationship with the church? We are recommended to turn to brothers and sisters for help to pray for us, because Scripture states: “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy people, people taken as inheritance, in order to proclaim the perfections of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light” ( 1 Peter 2:9). We have the right to come to the throne of grace, and God hears our prayers.
Fourth, it is important to pay attention to our inner state, faith and motives: “And the prayer of faith shall heal the sick, and the Lord will raise him up” (James 5:15). The prayer of faith is a request that is accompanied by the assurance that God hears and can help, and He will help if it is His will. God may or may not heal. Healing is always associated with saving faith. Take, for example, the episode with the woman suffering from bleeding. She said in herself that if I touch the tassel on His clothes, I will recover. And she was healed because Jesus said, "Your faith has saved you." There are many other descriptions of miraculous salvation in the Bible. Healing is a symbol of salvation, a sign for others. But the Savior is the Lord!
Fifth, you need to pay attention to your behavior: righteousness, purity, holiness. “... and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven him. Confess your offenses to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed: the fervent prayer of a righteous man accomplishes much” (James 5:15-16). James said that without internal purification there is no external purification. Difficulties and sickness come from sin. But this is not always the case. However, sin should not be present in the life of a Christian. Healing occurs after confession of sin and repentance. And then God will release from his burden and raise the person.
So, if there are trials, let us pray; if there is joy, let us glorify the Lord!

What is spoilage and how to get rid of it

In this article:

Corruption is a strong slander on a person with the aim of destroying the well-being of health. A hindrance to his plans and fulfillment of desire. Damage is induced quite easily. The basis of such conspiracies is anger, envy, a feeling of hatred, a desire for revenge. More often, young girls and women of the age who dream of making their rivals as bad as possible resort to a conspiracy to spoil. But it happens that among men there are those who want to put a spoke in the wheels of their competitors both in business and in their personal lives. There are many witches who undertake such deeds.

But, to be honest, a conspiracy to damage is a double-edged sword and the second end hits the slander's head without a miss. If you have found a woman who agrees to help you in a conspiracy of corruption, remember: she knows how to shift the punishment from herself and throw it on you. After all, it is you who order your revenge, and she is only a conductor. Spoiling is sinful and always punishable. We are all equal before the Lord, and only he can decide when and which of us to be punished for our actions. Know that by causing damage, you are committing an act for which you will later pay for a long time, bleakly and in full.

If you think that you have already been damaged, then you need to learn how to get rid of it as soon as possible.

How can you harm a person?

In order to bring damage to a person, no labor, no mind, no conscience is needed. Anger and resentment, the right words and a powerful energy flow are needed. Just in case, you can take any photo of the one who is being slandered or one of his things.

Damage is not a way of protection or defense. A protective mirror is a shield that protects from trouble. Corruption is a blow to a similar one. If you motivate the infliction of damage by a response, this means recognizing that you yourself have sunk to the insignificant state of a person capable of offending, humiliating, and rejoicing in the defeats of others. The ability to do badly and harm health is punishable not only in the world of magic. Intentional infliction of harm is a criminal offense.

Damage is induced accompanied by similar words:

“For you my troubles are dear, for you my pain is dear, for you my poverty is dear. For me there is nothing of yours near. Live and suffer. So be it.”

Damage to death is suggested by making conspiracies on raw potatoes, burying them in the ground on a waning moon. They bury the photo in the cemetery, cut the image with scissors, red-hot on black candles. They cause diseases by piercing the eyes with needles in the photo. They sew dolls, inserting personal items into them and reading the necessary conspiracies, also piercing the dolls with needles or burning them on fire.

There are a lot of options for inducing damage. But in order to remove damage, there are only a few proven accurate methods.

Damage symptoms

You are spoiled if:

• You have a clear sleep disorder;
• You have nightmares too often. Often one and the same or all terrible dreams are interconnected and the same person takes part in them;
• You get sick with everything and you can’t understand why. Doctors make a helpless gesture;
• An impenetrable black streak has come in your personal life;
• We ran out of money, hard to work;
• You have lost your appetite, or vice versa - it has become too miserable and harmful;
• You think one thing, say another, often lie, get angry, take it out on your relatives;
• Stop loving your reflection in the mirror.

Such symptoms are nothing more than the first signs of damage. Corruption does not give light and hope, all hours of your rest are in vain, and good intentions are instantly generated into negative emotions. Everything falls out of hand and crumbles to dust.

First of all, give yourself an immediate relaxation. First turn off all appliances, sit in front of the clock and relax completely. Relax even your face. Watching the arrow drive away all thoughts from yourself and do not get hung up on any idea. Follow the arrow for a minute, a second. Get up, dust yourself off like a pet, shake off your hands as if you were shaking water off them. And now you really need water.

How to remove damage

Corruption is very afraid of water, especially charmed. You can get in the shower or take a scented bath. Light light or red candles throughout the house and take a water treatment. You will feel relief instantly. In this case, you can slander such lines:

“Hello, young Zarnitsa is a red maiden, water is a sister. You tesh endlessly without edge, troubles and tears without knowing. Carry away the water my thinness and nakedness. Carry away the river my hardships and ailments. And what will merge from me, let it return to its origins.

After taking a bath, take a clean towel, wipe yourself with it and immediately determine it in the wash.

The next day, if your soul does not mind, go to church and light a candle for Nikolai Ugodnik so that your ill-wishers will find a good occupation for themselves and be happy in their new deeds.

In order to protect yourself from further exposure to the evil eye and damage, tie a red woolen thread around your right wrist. This bracelet will help you reflect the perception of negativity on your body and prevent a new wave of damage.

How to determine who is spoiling you.

There are several ways to determine who caused damage. The first of them again leads to the church. You should order an akathist for relatives, friends and for those with whom friendly relations have not developed. In the church, they will explain in detail how and for what purpose you need to correctly order an akathist for the number you have chosen. In a prayer said at the indicated time, those people to whom you ordered a prayer service will be mentioned.

The ritual for nine eggs is a very mild remedy and is suitable for regular use.

After a little more than a week, prayer for your family and friends will work to improve well-being, and prayer for the enemy will bring him the meaning of life, other interests, those things that will be more important for him than sitting and offending you. These can be completely different things. The Lord himself will determine for your enemy the fate that he sees fit. But you yourself recognize the person who cooked for you bad life in your own words, because his soul will rush towards you, subconsciously apologizing for the fact that the mind has overshadowed all human feelings. This behavior does not depend on the person himself (the desire for an apology), it happens at a higher level in the depths of consciousness that the Universe or the Lord originally gave us.

Another way, without church rites.

Take 9 fresh chicken eggs. Break one into a bowl of water at night and place it next to your bed. Ideally, the bowl should spend the night under the bed right under your head. During the night, a raw egg will draw out all the negative energy from you. In the morning, as soon as you open your eyes (even if it’s an intermediate trip to the toilet, but it’s already dawn outside the window). Take a bowl with you and pour it into the toilet or far beyond the threshold of the house. Hold the cup against your chest so that your thumbs are looking at your chest with your nails. Pour the bowl with the egg away from you with the words

"Where you came from, go there."

The procedure should be repeated for 9 nights. During this time, the person who caused damage will be exhausted, get sick from his bile and will constantly loom before your eyes. Such a person should be forgiven.

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Reviews and comments

Perhaps this view of what is happening will help you understand yourself: life situation when it seems that everything is bad, a complete imbalance in many areas, you seem to have lost your life guidelines, then it's time to listen to yourself and change what is so much preventing you from enjoying life - it's possible! Analyze the circumstances you find yourself in, think about their cause, how and when they started, what they are for you, draw your own conclusions, make a decision and move on, already having your invaluable life experience. It is important to understand yourself, study, accept and fully realize and set yourself new goals, break out of the usual circle of thoughts, fears, actions, situations, people. Everything as a result will definitely be good, because events, thoughts, decisions, information, people come to each person at the right time, exactly when he is ready to realize, rethink, draw conclusions and start acting, and a resource is also given to this, to realize, endure, improve, win. Everything around us, all circumstances depend on our perception of them, it is with our thoughts, actions, desires, decisions, words, even with our appearance that we attract a certain environment, events and people. Think about it. All problems are actually in our heads, we create them ourselves, believe, feel, and then heroically overcome them. The source of everything that happens to us, as well as the forces of helping ourselves, is always within us. Think about your lifestyle. Probably you now lack a positive start, vigorous activity that brings joy. You do not allow yourself to feel much, thereby depriving yourself of positive emotions. There is little joy from the phenomena of the surrounding world, a pleasant surprise, a feeling of delight from events, satisfaction from one's physical, intellectual, professional capabilities, warmth from relationships, humor and laughter. All this makes our life happier, fills it with meaning, decorates it in different colors. What do you want to change now, but you do not dare. Start making efforts in the direction of what you want, go ahead, actively transform everything the way you want. Then the paths open, and the means appear, and people who are ready to help and support, and the obstacles become surmountable. Understand that you do not owe anything to anyone, you are not obliged to please someone, not meeting someone's standards, feel unhappy. Perhaps you are upset, also oppressed by comparing yourself, your successes with others, look around, get information about how others live, their life for you is a series of events, cases, vivid impressions, experiences, meetings, victories, defeats, etc. d. all this is compared with how you live. But this is only a view from the side, you can’t even imagine what is really happening, we usually only see the top, what they want to show or cannot hide. And each person has their own path. The way you live is only yours, albeit now without fantastic impressions, steep climbs, rapid currents and with a lot of problems. This is only a stage that was given to you for some purpose, in order to gain some experience, benefit, learn a lesson and move on towards improvement. The main thing you need is to start to really pay attention to yourself, care, fulfill your desires. Start with this, take the first step, your actions can really change everything. Do what you want with all your heart, then do it, allow yourself to do it, listen to yourself, it's time for you to pay attention to yourself and not expecting someone to do it, do the best for yourself, fill your life with the desired content - emotions, freedom to be whatever you want, small holidays, events, joyful impressions and delights, deeds and decisions, actions (and even inaction, it is also necessary for introspection, self-determination, self-study, acceptance completely, such as it is, setting new goals), meetings, drive and positive. Let life flow as it is, without your constant attention to some aspects. Let things happen naturally. Excessive control (including yourself) takes too much energy from you, spend it on giving yourself joyful emotions, pleasure, looking for only good things in everything and in yourself first of all, not on changing yourself, but on understanding, full acceptance with all the shortcomings, respect for oneself, development of all the best in oneself. Believe in yourself, you deserve all the best, to be happy, without doing anything specifically for this, not deserving (contrary to what you were inspired earlier and now they may be suggesting), you can do everything yourself and achieve what you want, you are very good and if anyone - then he tries to prove the opposite to you, to offend you, know that these are only deep internal problems of this person himself, do not let him doubt his own worth for a moment. Nobody has the right to judge you. You have the right to be like that, to feel and react differently from what is expected of you and imagine - to make mistakes too, allow yourself to be not perfect. Never doubt yourself, that you yourself are beautiful, do not look for confirmation of this fact from the outside, especially from those who themselves do not represent anything, have not achieved, have not achieved. You don't owe anything to anyone, don't owe anything, be good for yourself, become your own baseline, an object of effort, the main value, you deserve it. If you want to change something in yourself, then do it not to please someone, not to meet someone's tastes, concepts, requirements, but only if these changes make you happier, your life brighter, fuller, richer , happier. Maintain your personal integrity, do not allow anyone's negative value judgments (remember, this is only their own internal unresolved psychological problem) doubt yourself, your talents and capabilities. Do not let the feeling of happiness and fullness of life depend on another person, his opinion or behavior: their opinion, their criticism is only their level of upbringing, their problems, not yours. Just pay attention to yourself, understand that the most main value for you, it's you. Love yourself, appreciate and respect: your abilities, thoughts, plans, goals, your time, appearance, opinion. Do not wait for someone else to make you happier, add the missing components to your life yourself. Do not be afraid of anything, everything will begin to change only for the better, as soon as you begin to pay attention to yourself, treat yourself more carefully and respectfully. Whatever happens, treat it not as a hopeless situation, a tragedy, but as an experience, a step, an opportunity, a chance to change something for the better, because every phenomenon has two sides, learn to see the positive, useful. Direct your energy in a constructive direction, to create a positive attitude, perception of life and its creation according to your ideas of happiness. All in your hands. What you really want, what you are waiting for, what you believe in with all your heart, will definitely happen. This is a very short answer. I can go even deeper into the explanation, but as part of an open answer, I will not bore you. I wish you love, inner harmony and prosperity. Meaning and happiness, love and attention do not need to be sought all your life - create it yourself, give yourself all this and your life will change. Write to the chat if you want to understand yourself and the situation, change it in better side- I will be happy to help, listen, support, show options for exiting. I would be grateful for the answer.

Good afternoon. I was interested in your answer "Perhaps you will be helped to understand yourself by such a view of what is happening: you perceive the vital sieve ..." to the question http://www.. Can I discuss this answer with you?