A sketch about three heroes in a new way. Material (7th grade) on the topic: “Three Heroes” skit. What, boy, can’t you figure it out?
Act one
Maryushka sits sad on a tree stump. Vanya runs out with a bouquet of flowers.
Maryushka: Vanechka!
Vania: Marya! These flowers are for you.
Maryushka: Vanechka, I love you so much. But you'll probably marry some princess
Vania: Maryushka, you are just like my dad. He also says that I will marry some princess. I don't need a princess. I need only you. (takes Maryushka by the hands). I want to propose marriage to you. Oh, what kind of ring is this (looks at Marya’s hand in surprise). Are you married?
Maryushka: This is a magic ring.
Vania:(disappointed) You're married to a wizard.
Maryushka: Vanechka, it’s just a magic ring. I am Marya the Artisan. Well look, let me show you. (waves his hand) Oooop! (points his finger to the side where flowers appear on the ground)
Vania: What about the offer?
Maryushka: So, wait, I need time to think. I thought: I agree!
Vania: Maryushka! (joyfully)
Act two:
Tsarsky
castle
The king sits on the throne, the princess stands next to him. Vanya runs in.
Vania: Dad! I have wonderful news for you. I'm ready to get married.
Tsar: Good! I just found a bride for you. From a noble family.
Vania: I want to marry a completely different girl.
Tsar: Is she a princess?
Vania: (embarrassed) No.
Tsar: So you want to marry this one (points to the princess)
Vania: Dad, you understand. For me it makes no difference whether a girl is rich or poor, whether she is noble or a commoner.
Tsar: (interrupts Vanya) I understand you are of such an age now. By the way, she speaks three languages: Russian, Ancient Russian and Non-Annalistic Russian.
Princess: Believe me, sorry
Tsar: You see, he speaks Albanian too
Tsar: Well, let's go get the kids! All! You are marrying a princess!
Song (of the king)
Vania: (sighs) Dad, why don’t you at least want to meet Marya?
Tsar: OK then. Call her.
(Marya enters)
Maryushka: Hello, Your Majesty! (bows)
Tsar: Hello. So, who are you?
Maryushka: Marya the Artisan.
Tsar: If Marya loves you SO much (addresses her son), let her get it... let her get it... (whispers to the princess: She's already got me) FEATHER! Firebirds. They say it makes everyone happy. If she gets the feather of the firebird, then both you and I will be happy. And if you don’t get it... (throws up his hands) Pfhe... That’s how creative I am.
Act three: (forest)
Three heroes look into the distance, placing their visor on their foreheads.
1st hero: Where is this artist? He promised to be there at noon. How long will we continue to sweat in chain mail? A? It's hard to stand without horses. Horses now!
2nd hero: But we don’t have horses. Why? (grabs the 3rd hero half his hand). And all because someone gave them to the Gypsies last time to guard them.
1st hero: What do you say? (gives him a kick)
3rd hero: (trying to change the topic) Eh, boring! Or maybe we’ll go and exterminate the Koshchei
1st hero: What for? He's immortal.
3rd hero: Let’s measure our heroic strength against each other?
1st hero: Why wasn’t last time enough for you?
2nd hero: Well, clarify.
3rd hero: Let's throw our clubs up, whoever returns later wins.
2nd hero: you know, but I like it. Come on E-I-I... They fly well.
(Marya comes out wiping her tears with a handkerchief)
3rd hero: (noticing Marya) Oh! Finally there is someone to help.
1st hero: Here! Another thing! Well, girl, well, red?
Maryushka: I'm in trouble! I love the prince. And the king, his father, ordered me in three days to find the feather of the firebird, which brings happiness. Otherwise, he will marry my betrothed to an overseas princess. Bogatyrs! Help me get the firebird's feather!
1st hero: Where can we look for this firebird?
2nd hero: Question.
1st hero: Answer.
2nd hero: If the feather of the firebird brings happiness, then you need to look for it from someone who is happy.
All three heroes: Well, let's go!
1st hero: Let's hit the road
Sing together: And for you, dear
There is a field post
The trumpet is calling forward
Act four:
Royal Palace
The princess sits on the throne. The king stands behind, leaning on the back of the throne.
Tsar: Well, what are you, my golden sun? Why aren't you getting ready for the wedding?
Princess: (in a whiny, capricious tone) What should I prepare for the wedding? Now this Marya will go and find this feather of the firebird.
Tsar: Well, he will find it. Well, I am the Tsar, I gave my word - I have to keep it.
Princess: Here!
Tsar: Listen, I was driving through the forest here just now. Look what kind of advertisement they threw at me.
Princess: (sighs enthusiastically).
(Baba Yaga appears, spinning around herself)
Princess: (jumps up in fear) Oh!!!
Woman-Yaga: Chula-macula, chula-macula chula-macula (at the last “chula” sits on the throne). Good evening. I'm listening.
Tsar: Well, for Baba Yaga you look good.
Baba Yaga: This is what it says. Is this a radio?
Princess: Doesn't matter
Baba Yaga: Well, what did you want?
Princess: I have a competitor. Marya.
Baba Yaga: Marya is the one in the red and white sundress and kokoshnik?
Princess: She is the one.
Baba Yaga:(takes out playing cards and takes them into his hand like a fan) Now let’s go to the search engine. Stop Marya. (reads) So, stop a taxi, stop the nosebleed, stop the hair loss. No guys, I can't do that. She is in the company of three heroes, and this is completely different money.
Tsar: Yes I agree! For any money.
Baba Yaga: (continues to look at the cards) So, they won’t get away from us. All the paths in the forest are enchanted, they all lead to visit me. So what will destroy them is a purely technical issue.
Act five:
Baba Yaga: I feel the heroes are coming. You need to have time to prepare a delicious yaga potion. Subdues the will, you want to laugh, laugh. I would drink it myself. It’s impossible, it’s impossible. Just let them drink and they'll go crazy.
(The 2nd and 3rd heroes come out.)
2nd hero: Hello, Baba Yaga.
3rd hero: We are Russian heroes.
Baba Yaga: Seriously? So, maybe a tea for getting to know each other?
1st hero: No, we're on duty.
Baba Yaga: Uuuuu... You are somehow strange, like non-Russians.
3rd hero: Excuse me, do you have a single or double oven?
Baba Yaga: Sore point. The stove is single, I would like a double one. But... Not fate. (Tries the potion) Well, let's get acquainted. Professional magician Veronica Chakra. Well? Shall we open our third eye? Girls, kikimoras, come to me!
Song.
1st hero: Eat well!
Baba Yaga: (carries a potion on a tray) Well? For beautiful ladies?
3rd hero: There are no beautiful ladies here...
Baba Yaga: Ugh! Such negativity has gone! Ugh! I can not!
2nd hero: Where is our Maryushka? (calls) Maryushka...
(Maryushka appears)
Baba Yaga: Oh! (examines Maryushka) How pretty! And the hand is so sweet! (takes Marya by the hand). Everything is so delicious! I would have eaten it! I would have devoured it!
Maryushka: (smiling at first, in a dumbfounded tone) What?!
3rd hero: Grandma, just let’s not make threats, okay?
Baba Yaga:(letting go of Maryushka and stepping aside) Oh! Well, I was joking in the forest way. What did you want, huh?
Maryushka: Grandmother,
Baba Yaga: What kind of grandmother am I to you? What did you want to ask?
Maryushka: Can you tell us where we can get the firebird’s feather?
Baba Yaga: Lord, I can tell you just like that. The magic feather of the firebird is in the possession of my half-brother, Nightingale the Robber.
2nd hero: At the nightingale?!
Baba Yaga:(boastfully) He is now a pop star, singing songs. The happiest. He has the feather. (addresses the ball) Say yesss (yes). She said.
3rd hero: This is all good, but this is how we will ride without horses.
Maryushka: And you take my magic ring. As soon as you turn it, it will immediately take you to the right place. And if necessary, your image will change. (gives the ring to the heroes)
3rd hero: Thank you Marya! Well, let's go?
2nd hero: Let's hit the road.
Baba Yaga: Please, bye, let's call you. It's okay if the potion doesn't work out. My brother Nightingale the Robber will definitely finish them off. (Addresses the ball) Say, stupid.
Act six:
Three heroes appear before the Nightingale's nose.
The nightingale sings
Nightingale: ABOUT! Grateful viewers! (whistles)
1st hero: Why are you whistling here?!
2nd hero: There will be no money.
Nightingale: Oh! How long do I have to whistle so that I don’t have money? Ahahaha. I am the golden whistle of all Rus'! I am the people's Nightingale of Darkness. I am the unsurpassed, magnificent Nightingale the Robber!
3rd hero: Just like that and unsurpassed?
Nightingale: Yes! What should I tell you here? Let me whistle for you better! (whistles)
1st hero: (to other heroes) Listen, in my opinion it’s not scary.
2nd hero: Absolutely!
Nightingale: Well, did you like it?
1st hero: Well, in general terms, with reservations - Yes
Nightingale: Well, you have to pay for pleasure. Take off your chain mail, those helmets of yours.
1st hero: Yes, I like you right now!!!
Nightingale: Well, try it.
1st hero: The first one went!
(the nightingale begins to whistle, the third hero tries to approach the nightingale, cannot stand it and falls, the nightingale laughs contentedly)
1st hero: The second one has gone!
(the nightingale begins to whistle louder, the second hero lasted longer than the first, but still fell, the nightingale laughs at the top of his voice)
Nightingale: Well, no one can resist my whistle.
(the nightingale begins to whistle at full strength, the first hero does not feel anything, the nightingale is in shock)
Nightingale: Why aren’t you falling?
1st hero: You see, when I was a child, a bear stepped on my ear. Since then I have had trouble hearing. And the bear is limping.
Nightingale: Oh! How nice, how joyful. (fallen heroes rise up). I'm so happy to see you here!
1st hero: What are you happy about?
Nightingale: Like what? Tomorrow it will be written in all the chronicles that three healthy men beat the young talented Nightingale the artist. And people love it. This is a scandal! Increase in fees! The forest will be noisy all year long! HAHAHAHAHA
1st hero: I don’t understand what he’s talking about. No, well, I don't understand. Tell me, do you have a firebird feather?
Nightingale: What? Firebird feather? No, it never happened.
2nd hero: Ha! What a twist!
Nightingale: Why do you need it?
3rd hero: Yes, the wedding here is in danger of being disrupted.
Nightingale: Wedding! So you're at the right place! I am the best wedding artist, and in general, unlike many others, I never whistle to a soundtrack. Yes, I have the simplest rider. Just twelve year old mead and apples.
3rd hero: Lightly salted?
Nightingale: Rejuvenating! Where are the best rejuvenating apples made? In Paris! With such beauty, everyone is absolutely happy there.
2nd hero: Are you happy? This is interesting. This means the firebird is nearby.
1st hero: Let's find the firebird and get him these rejuvenating apples.
3rd hero: Well, to France?
1st hero: To her, my dear. (twists the ring given by Marya)
Act seven
Yard
The heroes find themselves in musketeer costumes. They look at their clothes in surprise.
1st hero: I don’t understand who we have become?
2nd hero: (stunned) Ilyusha! Priests!
3rd hero: (also dumbfounded) Ambulance!
1st hero: And this, what is this? (examines the sword) A toothpick?
2nd hero: In my opinion, a weapon.
3rd hero: Look! (points towards where the musketeers are fighting
1st hero: Look! What are they doing, huh? Aaaaay. Can you help?
2nd hero: Why, Ilyush? Let's go from here. We are in another country. We don't know why they are fighting. Maybe he started it first (points to D'Artagnan)
1st hero: (thoughtfully) Not good... Well, four against one, well, not fair. We are Russian heroes. But Russian heroes don’t even abandon non-Russians. Went.
(the heroes approach D'Artagnan's opponents from behind)
1st hero: Hello! Guys! Well... they ran away (he hits two people on the head with swords, and they hit the other two and fall) Well, something like that.
Act eight:
Maryushka and Baba Yaga are standing in the forest. Baba Yaga waves her arms around Maryushka, as if casting a spell.
Maryushka: It’s only been a few hours since we’ve been together, and I already miss Vanechka so much.
Baba Yaga: Right now, right now, right now, right now... I'm working.
Maryushka: What are you doing?
Baba Yaga: What am I doing? I am doing work. You're all stuffed up. Oops! (pinches Maryushka’s stomach)
Maryushka: Oh!
Baba Yaga: Chakra of a cheerful life. Hehe. Now I'll show you one thing. Look and be surprised. (opens a laptop lying on a stump) Macdub!
Maryushka: Oh, where did you get it from?
Baba Yaga: I had students. This is what's left of them. I'll show you right now. Right now I’ll register you for the “oddnoskazniki” website (points at the laptop keys). Do you have any smart idea?
Maryushka: Of course, measure seven times, cut once...
Baba Yaga: (types something again) Yes, Opa! Look. The Brave Tailor and the Ogre Yasha liked this phrase. (Maryushka looks at the screen in surprise) Well, try it yourself!
Maryushka: what should I try?
Baba Yaga: (interrupts) Don't be afraid! Write: what is the weather...
Maryushka: So... Well, this is stupid...
Baba Yaga: Yes, okay, write: what’s the weather like?
Maryushka: Right now... (spreads his fingers over the keyboard) So, it’s good, and I’m about the year, a. (letter by letter)
Baba Yaga: (reads from the screen) Vasilisa the Beautiful: You are beautiful!
Maryushka: Oh! Just liked it.
Baba Yaga: Yes, write, write...
Maryushka: Oh! Zmey-Gorynych asks to be a friend three times. Why three times? A! Because he has three heads (during this phrase, without looking up from the screen, he takes the laptop and leaves) Interesting!
Baba Yaga: Hahahaha! All! We lost Maryushka!
Act nine:
French palace
King: My queen! Where did you go last night? I looked for you in the chambers. You weren't there!
Queen: Ha! Your Majesty, I went to your chambers. You weren't there either.
King: Well, okay, and at night! I came to see you again at night, I thought since you should sleep, then you are in your chambers.
Queen: Well, you know, sometimes I feel SO hungry at night. I went to the kitchen, there was a piece of “Napoleon” cake left.
King: My Queen: I remind you once again that only Louis the Fourteenth cake should be eaten in my palace. Well, in the morning! This morning, sorry, we were late for breakfast.
Queen: Well, that's right. I wasn't hungry. And when I got hungry, I immediately came down to you.
King: Well, okay, then tell me where are your pendants with diamonds that I gave you for your birthday.
Queen: Do you want to know the truth?
King: Yes, I want to know the truth.
Queen: THEY WERE EATEN BY MOTHS!
King: hahahaha, What moth?
Queen: Diamond!
King: I know! Don't lie to the king! Excuse me, they are with the Duke of Buckingham!
Queen: What nonsense! Why does Buckingham need women's pendants?
King: I don’t know what’s going on there in England. My queen, tonight at the ball, I want to see you wearing my pendants.
Queen: Your Majesty! But there will be a lot of other people there! Can I wear something else besides pendants?
King: Yes. But pendants, my queen, are a must have. Necessarily.
(The Queen sighs, rolls her eyes, fans herself)
Act ten:
Yard
1st hero: (examines the fallen musketeers) I don’t understand why they fight with these skewers. Why are there no normal weapons? The sword is there, the club.
D'Artagnan: Thank you for your help! Gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself, D'Artagnan!
1st hero: Dartagnan...
2nd hero: Armenian! That’s why it’s understandable why they fight with skewers.
D'Artagnan: I am a young musketeer from Gascony!
3rd hero: Why young?
D'Artagnan: The devil knows. Ask women. By the way, this is the first time I’ve seen people fight with swords like that. What brought you here? Gentlemen.
1st hero: Yes, we are looking for the firebird and rejuvenating apples.
D'Artagnan: I can't say anything about the firebird, but the queen has rejuvenating apples! I’m just in a hurry to deliver her diamond pendants, but all the canals and roads are blocked by the canals of this Little Red Riding Hood.
2nd hero: Is the queen being threatened by a little girl?
D'Artagnan: No, Little Red Riding Hood is Big boy! Cardinal!
1st hero: so, maybe we can help?
D'Artagnan: Gentlemen! I consider it an honor! And as the musketeers say, one for all...
All together: And all for one.
Song.
Act eleven:
French Palace. Music is playing. The queen is dancing.
Cardinal: Queen, my devotion to you knows no bounds
Queen: Your impudence knows no bounds! What were you doing under my balcony yesterday?
Cardinal: Me? Prayed...
Queen: At one in the morning, with a guitar and with the words “My Bunny”?
Cardinal: That's right! I have prayed for your favor. Well, give me a dance!
Queen: (recoils in horror) No!!! Besides, there are terrible rumors about you. That you have two illegitimate children!
Cardinal: That's right. I'm the holy father!
Queen: Well, besides, you are old enough to be my father.
Cardinal: It is what it is.
Queen: Cardinal, I understand that this is thanks to your machinations. The king demands a pendant from me.
Cardinal: What are you talking about! (smirks)
Cardinal: Well, so be it, today I will remain silent, but know this! It's only because of my love for you, my queen!
Song
Act twelve:
Yard
D'Artagnan and three heroes fall out
D'Artagnan: My queen! I have the pendants!
(the queen runs out)
Queen: Thank you, D'Artagnan. Now I am saved, When the king sees the pendants, he will understand that I am absolutely honest! And I can safely go to Buckingham. And who are your assistants?
D'Artagnan: These are my friends! Ilya Muromets, Dobrynya Nikitich and Alyosha Popovich
Queen: Strange names
D'Artagnan: You can call them Ilyos, Dobranis and Popos. They are looking for rejuvenating apples.
Queen: Oh! This is for me! I have the best youth apples in Paris: Day, Night, For eyelid contour!
1st hero: I’m very sorry, but do you have a firebird?
Queen: What kind of firebird is this?
1st hero: They say it brings happiness.
Queen: Oh, where does my happiness come from? My happiness is in London.
2nd hero: Why don’t you go there? All our people are there.
Queen: How can I? The Cardinal has closed all ports. Should I dig a tunnel under the English Channel?
3rd hero: Well, heroes, let’s help the overseas queen, shall we?
2nd hero: Why don’t we give you a shovel?
D'Artagnan: My friends, I heard that in the east there is one Sultan who has an airplane carpet. If we get him, the queen will get to her lover in business class without any problems.
1st hero: What kind of sultan? Why don't I know about him?
2nd hero: I heard about him too. He has a huge harem.
3rd hero: So, the Sultan is probably the most happy man in the world. So, he must have the Firebird.
1st hero: So, I’ll summarize. Let's go to the Sultan. Eastern man, he will get us everything. And the airplane carpet and at the same time the firebird. (addresses D'Artagnan) See you friend (twists the ring)
D'Artagnan: See you friends! We will meet, we will definitely meet!
Act thirteen:
Royal Palace
Vanya: Dad, why didn’t Maryushka please you? Why did you send her for the feather of the firebird?
Tsar: Forget this unfaithful Marya!
Vanya: What?! Why unfaithful?!
Tsar: Vernaya would not have left in an unknown direction with three men.
Vanya: You know that...
King: Well, wait, sit down (seats his sons on the throne), better talk to our overseas guest (points to the princess sitting next to him)
(the king leaves)
Princess: I really want to put on a white wedding dress and veil as soon as possible.
Vanya: I don’t recommend white color makes you look fat. (with contempt)
Princess: Well, nothing, but do you like me?
Vanya: No
Princess: And so (turns the other side)?
Vanya: And I’m still scared. Dad?! (jumps up from throne)
Princess: Stupid, you don't understand what you're missing.
Song (Princess)
Princess: (approaches Vanya) Well, Ivan, will you marry me?
Vanya: I’ll marry... Marya (leaves)
Princess: King!!! Tsar!!! (sits on the throne)
(the king enters)
Princess: He refuses to marry.
King: What do you mean refuse? I gave birth to him and I will marry him! Let's deal with the competitors. Where is this damn Yaga?
(Baba Yaga enters)
Baba Yaga: Please, no insults!
Tsar: Well, what about the heroes?
Baba Yaga: Everything is fine with the heroes.
Tsar: (shouting) What do you mean good?! When I pay on the contrary, for everything to be bad!
Baba Yaga: I say that everything is good, because everything is bad!
King: Here! Than good. BUT it doesn't hurt to check.
Act fourteen:
Sultan's Palace
Heroes appear in wigs and women's, oriental clothes. (all the heroes speak in squeaky female voices)
1st hero: What is this happening to us?
2nd hero: What’s wrong with us? This is a nightmare!
3rd hero: This is my favorite size.
1st hero: Of course it’s a nightmare! Turned into girls!
2nd hero: The nightmare is not in this sense, but in the fact that we are in the same dresses! Oh! Is this true? Just a minute as a woman, and I’m already thinking about outfits.
1st hero: Everyone pulled themselves together!
(the heroes leave
(the Sultan and accompanying person arrive)
Sultan: Well, what's the news in my harem?
Emnukh: Oh yes, everything is as usual. Your beloved wife is crying that you don’t love her. The second one laughs at her. The third complains that she has nothing to wear. The fourth one broke your favorite jade vase. The fifth one doesn't talk to the sixth one. The seventh got into a fight with the eighth. Nine has a headache. And at ten o’clock my mother arrived.
Sultan: Oooooh! Mother.
(the Sultan leaves, the heroes come out)
Baba Yaga appears
Baba Yaga: Chula-machula, chula-machula, chula-machula (circling around subya)
1st hero: Hello.
Baba Yaga: Oh! Hello, brutals (laughs at their clothes) XOhohooooooo!
1st hero: What’s up with Marya?
Baba Yaga: Preparing for the wedding.
1st hero: How?
Baba Yaga: I combed my hair in the morning, drank glissé, and is sitting in the brides’ forum. I didn't bother her.
3rd hero: Why are you here?
Baba Yaga: And my eye opened. Third. I felt that you needed my help, hehehe.
2nd hero: Why do we need help?
Baba Yaga: You with such appearance, with such a gait, with such faces, you will immediately fail. You will be bought out immediately. Gait! The way you walk! Everyone will stretch out, tie themselves in a knot and walk like a torn old shoe.
2nd hero: Are we really walking like this?
Baba Yaga: Yes, yes, handsome. Yes. How do we walk, beauties? .(Music sounds) Everything is free here, everything is free here, the leg is free, from the hip, you walk freely and everyone is free! And to please the Sultan, you need one thing.
2nd hero: Well, what do we need to please the Sultan?
Baba Yaga: I’ll tell you, I won’t hide it. Belly dance.
3rd hero: Well, we have bellies, we’ll come up with a dance.
(dance in front of the Sultan) Song.
Baba Yaga: God, the dance is terrible. Now they will definitely be executed. (sighs) It's kind of a shame. Dobrynya seems okay, and Alyosha... No, no, no, Baba Yaga said Baba Yaga did it.
Sultan: Deception! Deception! What a belly dance! This is a dance of some kind of belly! Guards!
1st hero: But I wouldn’t call the guards if I were you.
Sultan: Why?
1st hero: Because we are Russian heroes. We can get rich.
Sultan: What do you want?
2nd hero: We heard that you have an airplane carpet.
Sultan: Ha! Yes, I have a whole garage of these airplane carpets!
3rd hero: And you are also a happy person. So you have a firebird feather.
Sultan: Am I a happy person?
3rd hero: Well, yes. You have a whole harem!
Sultan: A whole harem? Yes, this harem comes from the word grief. The phrase “My head hurts” already gives me a headache. In my bathroom there are 122 shampoos and one small piece of soap - this is mine. And then everyone uses it. This is what one man means in a women's team.
1st hero: I really feel sorry for the guy.
Sultan: You say happy! Feather of the Firebird! I don't have any firebird. But I have a self-assembled tablecloth.
3rd hero: What another brawl.
Sultan: Yes, not branka, but self-assembly.
Sultan: They say that on the island of Buyan, Tsar Saltan has a special squirrel that gets golden nuts, and in those nuts the kernels are pure emerald. This is happiness! Yes, I would give my entire garage of airplane carpets for this squirrel!
2nd hero: Oops!
1st hero: So this is the one who has the firebird!
2-bogatyr: To Buyan!
(twist the ring)
Act fifteen:
Buyan, palace
1st hero: and so, friends, we are on a rampage. I heard somewhere that the local people here speak in poetry.
2nd hero: Wow! What a miracle!
3rd hero: Friends, over time everything gets worse.
1st hero: Well, go ahead! Let's find Saltan, he is listed as the king...
2nd hero: Bayana!
1st hero: Buyana!
(the heroes leave)
Tsar Saltan, Skomorokha and the people
The people clap their hands (in this case the audience), Saltan sits on the throne
Buffoon: (cheerfully) Elisha barely sang to us, it will be more fun! Clap honest people! The squirrel sings songs!
(squirrel sings) people clap
Buffoon: The squirrel sang a song for us, and now this is happening from an overseas palace, three singers are performing!
(heroes perform)
Act sixteen:
Royal Palace
The king is sitting on the throne, the princess is nervously walking from side to side.
Princess: Well, where is this, what’s her name, this, well... (Baba Yaga comes out) Oh! So what about the heroes?
Baba Yaga: The heroes are all right. They are either in a dungeon or in a barrel of hot water.
Tsar: Are you accepting the bath?
Baba Yaga: Lord, I speak with BOILING WATER, with boiling water!
Tsar: Ahhh, is it like with the little humpbacked horse? Will they come out of boiling water even stronger?
Baba Yaga: Oh! King, how funny is that? Look (takes out a plate with an apple, puts it on the table and begins to spin the apple around the plate) I’m showing you. Let's look here.
Tsar: (looks at the plate) You're a hack! Not only did they not perish, they also sing songs.
Princess: (looking at the plate) And they dance!
Baba Yaga: Yes, they sing and dance, I’m guilty, I’ll correct myself. Witchcraft is an everyday matter. And from our company there is a bonus - an inflatable owl.
Act seventeen:
Buyan, palace
The heroes approach Saltan
1st hero: Can I immediately switch to prose?
Saltan: You sang beautifully, ask for whatever you want.
3rd hero: Tsar Saltan, We are looking for the firebird. We see you are a happy person, which means you have a firebird.
Saltan: Am I happy? Yes, overseas guests should arrive soon, but there is nowhere to stay. All the chambers on Buyan are sold out.
1st hero: We understand, the problem of the “winter games”. Why don’t you have builders to build new chambers?
Saltan: There are builders, only they know how to speak in three-story iambic.
1st hero: I have an idea: how to help you.
Saltan: Well
(The first hero twists the ring in his hand and all three go to the side so that no one can see them. After twisting the ring they turn into three little pigs)
2nd hero: Ilyush, what did you come up with? Who are we now?
1st hero: We are the three little pigs. We will build.
Baba Yaga appears.
Baba Yaga: Chula-machula, chula-machula, chula-machula (approaches Saltan)
Saltan: Who are you?
Baba Yaga: I am a matchmaker Baba Babarikha, oblipikha mikha dashing Ugh!
Saltan: Ahhh, it’s immediately obvious that she’s not local.
Baba Yaga: I am from Guidon. They have been traveling for three days, hungry, and will soon arrive.
Saltan: (jumps up) Already?! (sits back on the throne) What will I feed them?
Baba Yaga: They love pork, for second place pork, for third... Oh, I forgot, it’s so fatty... Pork! I hinted well (points to three piglets standing and approaching Saltan).
(Baba Yaga leaves)
Saltan: Guys, we have problems.
1st hero: But we don’t. What problems? The house is ready.
Saltan: The house is ready, but there is nothing to feed the guests. The only food available is pork.
1st hero: So...
3rd hero: Ilya, I don’t like these hints of his.
2nd hero: I understand, you need a self-assembled tablecloth. Any dishes you order will appear on it.
Saltan: And drinks?
2nd hero: And drinks.
Saltan: And after 11?
2nd hero: And after11.
Saltan: (stands up) I offer an agreement. So you give me a self-assembly, I’ll give you a magic squirrel. (Sits back)
All heroes: Good!
(the heroes step aside)
1st hero: So what do we have for the firebird?
2nd hero: Well, since you can order anything you want on this tablecloth, then the firebird too.
1st hero: Logical.
3rd hero: Where can I get a self-assembled tablecloth?
2nd hero: And the self-assembled tablecloth needs to be taken from those. Who loves to eat well. That is, three fat men.
3rd hero: Ilyusha, turn the ring.
1st hero: Don't teach me!
Act eighteen:
Royal Palace
The king sits on the throne. Baba Yaga is nearby
Tsar: Well, what about the heroes?
Baba Yaga: Ahahaha, you will laugh, but I made cutlets from them.
King: In a figurative sense?
Baba Yaga: No, not really. So the king please pay me for my work.
(Baba Yaga and the Tsar are talking quietly)
Vanya on the other side is sitting in front of a plate
Vanya: Plate, show me my favorite. We need to save HER!
(Vanya jumps up, the princess comes out and stops him)
Princess: Dear, you know, I looked at the list of guests for the wedding and I’m not happy with everything. For example, this Puss in Boots. Well, of course I don’t mind, but let’s ask him to wear something else besides boots. Gihihi. And this is Princess Nesmeyana. Well, who invited her? This is melancholy sadness, there is no fun with it. I cross it out. And this Ivan the Fool, eh? Forgive me, he’s some kind of grandnephew of yours, you’ll have to invite him so he won’t be offended.
(Vanya does not see the princess yet, he moves back, but the princess catches him)
Princess: Dear, where are you going?
Vanya: Oh, I wanted to go try on a wedding suit.
Princess: Well, go try it on... (Vanya runs away) So I believed you!
(Baba Yaga sits on the throne, counts the money, the king comes)
King: So stop! Whoop!
Baba Yaga: So, what's the matter?
Tsar: The heroes are alive!
Baba Yaga: How alive, who said?!
King: The plate showed. So the contract is liquidated due to failure to fulfill its obligations. The money will have to be returned
Baba Yaga: Yes, I will turn these heroes into compote!
Act nineteen:
Castle of the Three Fat Men
Three heroes at a set dinner table. They look around.
1st hero: What, what, what is this?
3rd hero: Where are we?
1st hero: Are there really three fat men in the castle?
2nd hero: What is wrong with us?
1st hero: It looks like we ourselves have turned into three Fat Men.
3rd hero: This is probably a self-assembled tablecloth (points to the tablecloth with which the table is set)
Cook 1: Here you are, you got hungry so quickly. I didn't even expect it. By the way, you seem to have even gained weight hehehe!
Cook 2: We will now prepare a festive dinner for our hungry Three Fat Men.
2nd hero: Please don’t call us Three Fat Men. This is not politically correct. Just call us: Overweight Three.
1st hero: What kind of holiday is this?
Cook 1: Well, of course! Finally, the doll of the heir Tutsi was repaired and delivered to the palace.
Cook 2: By the way, the Key (shows a huge key). You can start it yourself after lunch. (gives the key to the heroes).
1st hero: (examines the key) Why, what is it?
Cook 2: (interrupts) Quiet, quiet. Don't waste your energy talking. You are about to have a grand meal.
1st hero: From! That's what he said well.
Chef 2: Set meal number 2 please.
Cook 1: Bon appetit.
3rd hero: And what to do about it?
1st hero: Let's eat this, order the Firebird. For the sake of Maryushka, you will have to go to these, in general. inhuman victims. Let's go wash our hands. (get up from the table and leave)
Baba Yaga appears, she sneaks away so that no one can hear her.
Baba Yaga: All the heroes have come to an end (sits down at the table). I’ll feed them like my fifth deceased husband. Ahahaha. So tablecloth, quickly nineteen servings of set lunch number three and compote. Okay, you have 10 seconds. (leaves).
Dishes appear on the tablecloth
Act twenty:
Maryushka is sitting on a tree stump, with a laptop on her lap.
Vanya runs out.
Vanya: Maryushka! Maryushka, I saw what they did to you and I will save you. Maryushka? (trying to attract her attention: waves his hand in front of his face, turns his face towards himself) It’s me Ivan.
Maryushka does not pay attention and begins to type something with even greater enthusiasm.
Vanya: What did they do to you? (desperately)
On the other side of the forest is Baba Yaga and the princess.
Princess: Aaaaaaaa!!!
Baba Yaga: Why are you shouting like that in the forest?
Princess: Yes, I stepped on a hedgehog. Aaaaah! Look, (points to Vanya, who is circling and running around Marya, worried) what this prince is doing. It will still be mine!
Baba Yaga: (she spreads out the cards like a fan and looks at them) He will be yours, not just once, not twice, not three times.
Princess: Eeeeeeeee. Tell me, what about the heroes?
Baba Yaga: Let's look (both look at cards). Well, look how the card was laid out! Well, it's beautiful!
Princess: Yes? Is this beauty?
Baba Yaga: These heroes are as close to the firebird as a mortar to the moon. So Vanya is yours. Tap dance!
Princess: Aaaaah! Thank you!
Baba Yaga: As my school friend Kroshechka-Khovroshechka used to say: “Thanks can’t be spread on a bun,” princess. You will throw me the bridal bouquet at the wedding.
Princess: Oh! That's all? And I was really scared!
Act twenty one:
Fats Castle
Three heroes sit at the table and eat food served on the tablecloth.
2nd hero: Wow, let’s go wash our hands!
3rd hero: And what to do?
1st hero: What should we do? You'll have to use it all.
(continue eating)
(the cooks come in, there are only empty trays and plates on the table)
1st hero: (wipes his mouth) Well, not bad, huh? Looks like we managed it.
Cook 1: I got it! You are not real Fat Men!
2nd hero: how did you guess?
Cook 2: Well, first of all, you finished everything, even the compote. But real Fat Men never did that.
2nd hero: And secondly?
Cook 1: And secondly, there are real fat men coming over there.
(Three Fat Men with huge bellies come out)
3rd hero: (whispering) Ilyusha, what are we going to do?
1st hero: Right now, purely according to the situation.
Fat Man 1: Oh, I'm so hungry!
Fat Man 2: Hmm, sure. We haven't eaten for half an hour.
Fat Man 3: What did you eat for third breakfast?
Fat Man 1: 20 partridges, 10 hens and 3 lambs!
Fat Man 3: Are you on a diet?
Fat Man 2: Oh! And who is this? (points to the heroes)
Cook 2 A, And these are our new... new... Waiters!
Fat Man 3: Apparently new. That's why they are so skinny!
Fat Man 1: Bring us lunch!
Fat Man 2: You know what, my dear. Give us some sushi!
Cook 1: With fresh fish?
Fat man 2: Well, of course, with fresh fish, fresh meat, sausage, pancakes and borscht, jam. In general, bring everything you have.
Cook 2: It will be done!
1st hero: How much will they eat?
Cook 1: I don’t know, at least 10 hours.
2nd hero: Ahhhh, everything is gone! Again we won’t have time to get the firebird on time.
3rd hero: We need to distract them from food.
1st hero: How? How?
3rd hero: I think I have an idea.
1st hero: What is there again?
3rd hero: No, no. (shows the key from under the table) (winds up the doll standing against the wall, the doll sings)
(fat people dance with the doll and it takes them somewhere)
3rd hero: Well, it's time to do what we came here for. Here is a self-assembled tablecloth (all the plates have already been removed from the table, a tablecloth is laid out on it). Ilyusha, come on.
1st hero: I want the firebird.
(a firebird appears on the table and the hero pulls out a feather from it.
(the clock strikes)
2nd hero: Do you hear? It's already noon.
3rd hero: we have very little time left. We must return to Marya before the appointed time.
1st hero: (in a calm tone) I know what to do, I know. (twists the ring)
Getting to each of the heroes, they bring him what they promised and receive what they promised in exchange.
Act twenty two:
Baba Yaga: My girl, now nothing threatens your wedding with Ivan Tsarevich. She promised - she did. (the princess rejoices)
(bogatyrs creep up behind)
Baba Yaga turns and notices the heroes.
Baba Yaga: The guys are back! I give up, I confess. Is it true. Well, it’s not me, I was forced to.
1st hero: Who forced you?
(the heroes left the feather on the stump, and the princess, noticing it, took it away)
Baba Yaga: You don't know them
(the princess examines the feather with a sly look)
1st hero: Well, tell me.
Baba Yaga: Money.
1st hero: Oops! Here you go, try it, eat it (gives you a rejuvenating apple from the basket), maybe you will become younger, and at the same time you will become kinder.
(Baba Yaga waves her head)
Baba Yaga: No no no I ate, thank you. I do not need
(princess, while no one sees, leaves with a feather)
1st hero: It is necessary, it is necessary (puts an apple into Baba Yaga’s hand)
Baba Yaga: Goodbye to old age (bites) (braids appear on her head) Ah! It's a different face! It's the same as 350 years ago! Men, what are we doing tonight?
1st hero: He is busy (points to the 3rd hero), I am terribly busy, this is free (points to the 2nd hero)
(1st and 3rd heroes leave)
Baba Yaga: Well, how are you?
2nd hero: Okay.
Baba Yaga: Will you go to the wedding with me?
2nd hero: I'll go. And as who?
Baba Yaga: As my Bogatyr-friend.
(Baba Yaga and the hero leave)
Maryushka sits on a stump with a laptop on her lap, Vanya is next to her, watching her and what she does. Suddenly, Vanya kisses Marya on the cheek, and she “comes to life.” Marya looks around.
Vanya and Maryushka sing in the palace.
Act twenty-three:
Royal Palace
Vanya and Maryushka enter holding hands. The king sits on the throne and jumps up at the sight of them.
Vanya: We're back!
King: My children! Forgive me (bows deeply)
Vanya: Dad, I love Marya and I want to marry her.
King: I agree.
(the princess runs in with a feather in her hands)
Princess: Stop, stop. How come? I have the feather of the firebird, so the prince must marry me.
King: Well, what does the feather have to do with it?
Princess: We agreed.
Tsar: Three heroes made so many people happy without any pen! The main magic is love! Everything else is nonsense!
Princess: (starts to cry) What should I do? I sewed a white dress, bought a nightie, what should I do?
(Baba Yaga enters)
Baba Yaga: What do you want?
Princess: I want a groom.
Baba Yaga: We’ll do everything right now, calm down.
Princess: I need him to be rich, handsome and... and... and strong!
(Baba Yaga leaves, the 1st hero enters)
1st hero: I apologize, I will try to express myself clearly and intelligibly. When I saw you for the first time, everything... here... and everywhere... not only... but... literally... I summarize: heart, boom boom boom. In general, love, in my opinion.
Princess: I understand everything, man. How are you doing with real estate?
1st hero: The property has a stove, age 33 years, privatized.
Princess: I see you're okay.
1st hero: Thank you, I’m touched, I didn’t expect it.
King: Great! This means we will have two weddings.
(includes Baba Yaga, 2nd and 3rd heroes)
Baba Yaga: No, three.
2nd hero: Eh, hmm, maybe.
Baba Yaga: I said: “Three”, that means THREE.
2nd hero: Well, three, then three. And you Alyosha?
3rd hero: I’ll go look at the bridesmaid.
(Marya and Ivan are standing hugging, the 1st hero and the princess are holding hands)
King: My friends, I have a toast! Marya and Ivan, you have proven that for love neither wealth nor origin matters. Baba Yaga and Dobrynya, you have proven that all ages are submissive to love. Princess and Ilya Muromets, you proved that love can come suddenly. And Alyosha proved, you haven’t proven anything yet. In general, we have three wonderful holidays today.
Characters: Queen Agripina (Grunya) just often gets sick with the flu, coughs all the time, is bandaged...Scene for the New Year “Three Heroes”
(characters: Bogatyr 1, his wife, Bogatyr 2, his wife, Bogatyr three, presenter, 2 Pechenegs). Voiceover: ________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
Leading: There has long been a wonderful New Year's tradition - giving gifts, and in Ancient Rus' The best gift for my wife was... a new Pecheneg! So, a tale about three heroes who gathered for their loved ones to buy New Year's gifts!
Ilya Muromets and the princess come out
Muromets (): I'm leaving, Marusya is all-o-o!
Marya: Where are you going, Ilyushenka?
Moore: To the war!
Marya: Which one?
Moore: To World War Zero!
What should I bring you, mother of my daughters?
Marya: Bring me a scarlet Pecheneg!
Moore: We’ll win, I’ll bring it, but if we don’t win, he’ll come!
Marya: Listen, Ilyusha, take me with you to the war!
Moore: Nope!
Marya: Remember my face, Ilyushenka!
Moore: War does not have a woman's face!
Marya: Look at my face - just right for war!
Moore: Well, we'll have to test you!
He takes out a bow, a shot sounds in the leg, Marya writhes
Marya: It doesn’t hurt at all!
Moore: Wow! (takes out an arrow from Marya’s leg)
Moore: Then there you go! (aims at the forehead, Marya squirms even longer)
Marya: (pulls out an arrow) Can’t see anything?
Moore: Then the worst part! (takes the ground) Here, eat! What, is it delicious?
Marya: No!
Moore: You see, you're not ready! You don’t love the Russian land!
Marya! Ilyush, please take me with you!
Moore: By whom?
Marya: Take it as your wife!
Moore: They'll laugh!
Marya: Then take the horse! (steps forward - 1,2,3) I’ll go on horseback! (neighs like a horse, Ilya covers her mouth)
Moore: The horses will laugh!
Alyosha Popovich comes out with his wife attached to his leg:
Alyosha: Matrona, let me go, I’ll go with the men!
Wife: I won’t let you in!
Alyosha: Young man, are you going to the village? Please take her with you!
Village guy: Yes, of course! (takes Alyosha’s wife with him)
Alyosha: Ilyush, I see you’re not alone? Who are you with?
Marya: neighs like a horse.
Moore: Well, this is not a horse's business - war!
Alyosha: What kind of mare?
Moore: Stole from the gypsies!
Alyosha: Well, are you going to war?
Moore: Yes, I don’t even have a weapon!
Alyosha: I'll give you a club!
Moore: I'm hitting your liver!
The hero runs out: Guys, quickly, the Pechenegs have besieged Kyiv! Let’s run!
Moore: Why run? LET'S STAND FOR THE Russian land! (the three of them stand). Looking into the distance:
Alyosha: You can’t see the Pechenegs... You can’t see them...
Moore: Listen, our visors are not fashionable (curves his hand), but it will be more fashionable! (They beat the beat “Don’t see the Pechenegs”)
Pecheneg: Hello Russian!
Alyosha: Great, Pecheneg!
Pecheneg: Anu, Russian hero, come out and fight! Please!
Alyosha: How many of you are there?
Pecheneg: two!
Alyosha hits the Pecheneg, he falls.
Pecheneg: Two thousand!
Moore: You, Alyoshenka, are always beating people without understanding! (raises the Pecheneg).
Pecheneg: and still the Russian land will be ours!
Alyosha: the facades and Russian plaster will be yours!
Alyosha hits the Pecheneg in the eye, he goes blind and says: How can we go home now?
Moore: What kind of people are you and I? We defeat everyone, but they still stay with us!
"THREE HEROES"Three heroes ride to the stone to the song “Heroic Strength”.
Ilya:(Reads the inscriptions on the stone)
“If you go to the right, you’ll be married,” “If you go to the left, you’ll be rich,” “If you go straight, you’ll be smart.”
My friends, shall we go straight?
Alyosha:
Bogatyr science -
This is, honestly, boring!
I don’t want to join this network,
Better watch TV!
Ilya:
What do you want, Alexey?
Tell us quickly!
Alyosha:
They told me that in the play
The classic spoke of a rake.
The guy's name was Mitrofan,
A complete idiot, they say...
But I'm sure of one thing -
It was a smart idea.
His thought will do for me:
Don't study, but get married!
Ilya:
If you want to get married -
Go hunting
Put provisions in your backpack,
Put the explosive packages
Into a homemade rocket
And... let her go around the world.
Where the rocket will land
An explosion will occur immediately.
It will be a noticeable place
Look for your bride there.
(The heroes disperse in different directions, Alyosha remains on stage, Baba Yaga runs out to the music)
Modern Baba Yaga:
What, boy, can’t you figure it out?
Cover your lower jaw
Take heart!
If I'm a queen,
Let me fall in love with myself.
I want to have dokha
On eider down,
And another one from a mink,
To ride down the hill in winter,
And also from sables,
May I be dearer to everyone.
And an ermine coat -
I saw it while flipping through a magazine,
And from black and brown foxes,
So that they fall from top to bottom,
Arctic fox padded jacket,
To be in furs until the end.
I also want a necklace
Cardinal Richelieu
And Indian earrings,
So that in the ears, and a little in the nose.
And our process will go on,
How do you give a Mercedes?
"Opel" - go to parties,
"Zhiguli" - so only in the bathhouse,
Okay, I'll give you a Toyota -
You will go hunting!
I will be strictly, without cronyism
Control your salary.
I’ll find out that there are no pennies,
I'll send you away.
Don't frown on your face.
Give me the ring here
Like you wanted to get married?
Alyosha:
No! I already want to study!
I will throw myself at Ilyusha’s feet,
I will beg his help,
Let him send you to study -
I don't need entertainment!
(Dobrynya and Ilya go to the stone)
Ilya:
We will serve people faithfully!
Let's go straight, Dobrynya!
Dobrynya:
No, Ilyusha, I'm going there
I will never go.
I want to live richly
Mountains of silver and gold
I'll go get it.
To my left.
Ilya: Well, who knows.
If you return alive,
We'll see you again.
After all, wealth is not always
It brings us to good.
(The heroes leave. To the music, he comes on stage with a bag of gold
Nightingale the Robber)
Nightingale the Robber:
Hello, my beautiful Knight.
Why is it quiet like a stormy day?
Have you come for wealth?
I look - it’s not dusty.
Let's face off? Well hold on!(Whistles)
( The nightingale whistles. Dobrynya resisted. He takes away a bag of gold. He gets on his horse and tries to ride away)
Nightingale the Robber: Stop!
Aha! caught up with you!
Get ready, friend, to be cut to death!
Dobrynya:
I'm not afraid of you, villain.
(They fight to the music, Dobrynya wins. During the battle, Baba Yaga steals the gold)
(To the song “Heroic Strength” all the heroes meet at the stone)
Ilya: Well, my friends, are you ready to serve the Russian people faithfully?
Are you ready to reap the benefits of learning?
Dobrynya and Alyosha: Ready!!!
Leading:
And the Heroes of the Russian Land began to perform military service for the good of the Fatherland and in the name of teaching.
(The whole team comes out to the music. Bow to thunderous applause)
At any school party dedicated to Defenders of the Fatherland Day, in addition to traditional congratulations and gifts, as a surprise from girls or friends, and also to make an interesting eyeliner under competitive program or an entertaining number, musical or theatrical scenes are always useful.
Z collected here skits for February 23rd for schoolchildren of different ages that will fit well into the program of this holiday
1. Sketch for February 23rd for schoolchildren “Three girls under the window”
(three girls in Russian folk costumes are sitting)
Leading: Three maidens by the window[
Dreamed about it in the evening..
. 1st Maiden: I wish I could get married soon,
I'm really tired of girls!
2nd Maiden: Just for anyone
I wouldn't go out!
3rd Maiden: I would marry a businessman
Like behind a stone wall!
Mom would love her son-in-law,
But where can you get something like this?
1st Maiden: Well, I'm sure
I would marry a sailor!
And while he swam in the sea,
I would live without knowing grief!
2nd Maiden: There are no sailors these days,
This is simply a rarity!
I wish I could marry the military -
Strong, extraordinary!
I would be happy
With a guy as strong as a rock.
3rd Maiden: We're daydreaming, girls...
All the guys crushed
They could lie on the sofa
Yes, enjoy football!
Leading: Oh, these young people
All of you can't bear to get married!
May I get into the conversation?
I know where the guys are!
Not one, not two, not three...
Girls (in unison): Where is this?! Speak!!!
Leading (points to the young men sitting in the hall):
Look here:
The guys are here!
Not warriors - so what?
Everyone is stately and good-looking!
One person per sister...
1st Maiden (points to one of the guys): C'mon, I'll take it!
2nd Maiden (points to another): I liked this one!
3rd Maiden (on the third): This one made me smile!
Girls(together): All the guys are good,
Just a holiday for the soul!
Leading: Girls, you are almost right - today is a holiday, and this is a holiday of our wonderful men! Strong, brave, persistent and self-confident. Therefore, let's congratulate them from the bottom of our hearts, and the way to the hearts of men is - you know - through their stomachs! (The girls invite everyone to a tea party or banquet)
2. Sketch for younger schoolchildren “Bogatyrs”.
(perhaps this sketch will become the basis, like “Thirty-three heroes”, written for kindergarten graduates)
Leading: Do you know, of course, who defended our Rus' in ancient times, who are the heroes of Russian epics?
(Children answer).
The song “Our Heroic Strength” plays, music. A. Pakhmutova, poems by N. Dobronravov.
Ilya Muromets enters with a spear and sword. He walks around the hall and stands in the center.
Ilya Muromets:
I'm from the city, from Murom.
From the village of that Karacharov.
And my name is Ilya Muromets
(bows).
I stood for Rus' for many years and winters,
Sparing no effort and time.
So that Rus' never, for all time,
There was no one to fight or ruin.
And who remembers the names of my friends who fought with me for Mother Rus'?
(Children answer: Dobrynya Nikitich and Alyosha Popovich!)
Ilya Muromets:
That's right, here they come!
Alyosha Polovin and Dobrynya Nikitich enter to the music.
Alesha Popovich:
I am Alyosha Popovich by name, from Rostov the Great City. And my comrade - Dobrynya Nikitich!
Nikitich:
One day, Prince Vladimir of Stolno-Kyiv gathered the heroes for a feast and gave instructions.
Ilya Muromets:
I want to fight my enemies in the field.
Alesha Popovich:
I must collect tribute to the prince.
Nikitich:
And he sent me a tribute overseas to conquer.
Ilya Muromets:
To carry out all the instructions we must be strong, dexterous and courageous.
Well, brothers? Shall we show off our heroic strength?
Leading:
Don't you, heroes, look at our good fellows and beauties!
Ilya Muromets:
With pleasure.
(Children play games and competitions with the heroes).
Ilya Muromets:
So, are there any fellows among you who are ready to show off their daring? Come out together, brave ones! (call 5-10 people each to join their team).
The Bogatyrs are holding a competition “Darling Well Done”, which consists of 3 tasks:
1. The task of the participants is, without exchanging a single word or sound, to stand in a line, according to the decrease in shoe size.
2. Participants are blindfolded. Without seeing, they must line up according to height.
3. Each team depicts a functioning mechanism (for example, a car, a vacuum cleaner, a computer), and all team members must be involved.
The Bogatyri winners are awarded sweet prizes and diplomas from “Daly fellows.”
3. A skit on February 23 for high school students “The Bogatyr and the Serpent Gorynych.”
(Show the skit in costumes and in a good mood).
(Ilya Muromets is standing in thought, and the Serpent Gorynych with three heads approaches him...)
Dragon: Ilya Muromets, are you aware that our boys have a holiday today - February 23?
Ilya Muromets: You are the Gorynych boy, and I am a man - the defender of the homeland.
Dragon: Ilya, can I also stand here... with you, protect...?
Ilya Muromets: Wait until...
Dragon: It’s quiet... maybe he’ll call his enemies, but the two of us are giving them a hard time...
Ilya Muromets: Enemies are those who come on their own and do evil, and the rest are opponents...
Dragon: Ilya, you know, I became a vegetarian... now I only eat cabbage..
Ilya Muromets: And what?
Dragon: nutritious... Ilya, maybe we should go to the village, there are girls hanging out...
Ilya Muromets: I'm married...
Dragon: What do you want to be given as a gift on February 23?
Ilya Muromets: Binoculars to look at the country, to see the adversary from afar...
Dragon: And I also want binoculars...
Dragon: Look, someone is running - the enemy must be...
Ilya Muromets: No, these are eleventh grade girls running to school to congratulate their boys...
Dragon: And somehow they are running at a jump...
Ilya Muromets: It's so cold...
Dragon: Look, they're definitely enemies!!! and war paint...
Ilya Muromets: Yes, these are girls from the 10th grade, running to school, also so smart...
Dragon: Ilya, what are they doing there at school?
Ilya Muromets: Concert...
Dragon: Yes, then I’ll run and have a look too...
Ilya Muromets: Look there...
Dragon: Of course of course...
Ilya Muromets: Oh, SMC, they write, they invited me to a party, how could I not respect it... I’ll go...
(Source: tca77.narod.ru)
4. Scene
There are three girls on stage.
Girl 1: Well, what are we going to give? (everyone is thinking)
Girl 2: No, why do we have to give them something every year?!
Girl 3: They give it to us?
Girl 2: Mimosa and Alpen Gold are not a gift, but a mockery. Moreover, in our country it is “International Women’s Day”, i.e. for all women. And they have “Defender of the Fatherland Day”. Which one of them served?
Girl 1: Yes, guys are generally lucky in life. You can wear clothes and shoes until they tear, and not until a new collection appears.
Girl 3: You can also get a manicure done with your teeth for free.
Girl 2: A belly is not a reason for depression, but a sign of masculinity!
Girl 1: To calm your nerves, you don’t need to make an appointment with a psychotherapist, you just need to overhaul the carburetor.
Girl 3: If you come to work wearing something different from what you wore yesterday, everyone understands that today is your birthday.
Girl 2: You don’t know how much bread, cheese and sausage cost, but you have it all at home.
Girl 1: You can open a tin can with a knife. Then take the crumb, dip it in butter - that’s it, dinner is ready!
Girl 3: Girls, come on. That we attacked them. By the way, being a man is not only “advantages”, but also hard work.
Girl 2: For example?
Girl 3: For example, when buying sneakers, you need to choose a style so that you can go to the theater or to a birthday party. (everyone nods understandingly).
Girl 1: What are we going to do with the gift? As usual: shaving foam and lotion?
Girl 2: No, if a man has a bunch of accessories in his makeup bag, that means there’s something wrong with him, but if there’s only one toothbrush, then you’re a brutal guy. Let's give them toothbrushes.
Girl 3: And most importantly, our love (draw hearts in the air).
5. Musical scene for February 23 “How my own mother saw me off”
Characters:
Vania
Mother
Grandmother
Sister
Laptop and here is a bottle of kvass (bottle with nipple)
Mother: Don't forget to take the first aid kit with you
Come back soon as a hero.
Father: Honestly, serve everyone there by studying,
So that your family can be proud of you.
(song “Slavyanka”. Grandmother baptizes, mother cries, father hugs, sister kisses. Leaves through the hall)
6. Comic scene on February 23 at school "I need a man!"
(Baba Yaga comes to find a man - a protector)
Leading: Oh, whose grandmother are you? Have you come to your grandson's holiday?
Baba Yaga: No, I’m no one’s grandmother, I’m Baba Yaga, I came to pick up a man, you say men, so I’ll pick one for myself
Leading: Why do you need a young man? What kind of grandfather would you choose for yourself?
Baba Yaga: I need a defender, to save Gorynych from the Serpent, to give Koshchei from the gate
Leading: And who will marry you of their own free will?
Baba Yaga: Yes, why do I need a husband, I’m not looking for a husband, but a protector to protect me, I’ll tie him up and be under supervision. Otherwise, the Serpent Gorynych has already overcome, he walks around every day and says to pour him your potion, otherwise he will confuse my hut’s legs..
Leading: Baba Yaga, our guys are young and strong, they will not sit on a leash, they will break free even worse than what will happen to the Serpent Gorynych
Baba Yaga: What should I do, poor thing?
Leading: Look for a defender in overseas countries, maybe someone who is meek will come across it
Baba Yaga: But I don’t know languages, I’ve lived my entire adult life in the forest
Leading: Here's your grandmother's phrasebook in several languages ( gives a book) And regarding the Snake, we advise you to contact the police...
(leave)
Draft commission. In the corridor of the military registration and enlistment office there is a long line consisting of future defenders of the Fatherland. The line moves slowly, somewhere in the back a conversation arises between two conscripts Vasily and Eduard. Vasiliy is a simple Russian guy from the outback, and Eduard is a representative of advanced youth, the son of rich parents.Edward (addressing Vasily): Well, bro, do you think they’ll draft you into the army?
Basil: The doctor said: “Healthy as a bull!”
Edward: Have you tried “mowing”?
Basil: Yes, I mow every summer, I’m already tired of it, so I decided: it’s better to go into the army for two years and relax.
Edward: Right! I think so too! What is your name?
Basil: Vasya.
Edward: And I'm Edward. Listen, Vasya, where do you work?
Basil: Yes, I play music in the club.
Edward: Cool! I also work as a DJ in a nightclub. Who are your ancestors? I mean, what do parents do?
Basil: Father is a foreman.
Edward: Brigadier? My father also has his own team. Listen, who does he go under?
Basil: Under the chairman.
Edward: I have never heard of such an authority. Listen, I still have a brother.
Basil: And I have one, he grazes cows and heifers.
Edward: What are you talking about? My brother also herds heifers on Tverskaya. How are you doing on the personal front? Dude, I mean, do you have a mare?
Basil: Eat! Only she in Lately can barely walk.
Edward; Why?
Basil: Yes, I drove her! And recently he beat me with a whip.
Edward: Well, you're a maniac! Why didn’t your family excuse you? Probably, there are problems with grandmothers.
Basil: Not really. I've never had any problems with my grandmothers; they love me.
Edward: It's good to have cabbage, by the way, where do you store it?
Basil: In the bank.
Edward: That’s right, it’s safer, now there are so many assholes who are greedy for other people’s greenery.
Basil: Yes Yes! We had one such goat!
Edward: Why was it?
Basil: Yes, my father and I killed him.
Edward: How did you score?
Basil: So, they slaughtered it for meat.
Edward(scared): For meat? What a family!
Basil: Look, this line never seems to end. I’m already hungry, maybe we should go somewhere?
Edward(hysterical): No! No need! Not me! Save!
Edward runs away. Vasily, perplexed, remains alone at the back of the queue.
Basil: And how do they recruit such psychos into the army?
8. Sketch - monologue for February 23 for schoolchildren - "Insidious dating site"
(a high school student comes on stage, sits down at his laptop and at the same time talks on the phone with a friend)
Voice behind the scenes: It's no secret that schoolchildren are now the owners and creators of many websites, some have this as a hobby, some are making their first attempts to start a business... A skit about the misfortune of a dating site administrator.
Hello, well, I made a dating site, but no one goes...
- What am I doing? Every day I go and look - no one registers...
- Why add it yourself? And then people will immediately come to the site? Will they meet? You're talking business...
- Well, okay, let me try... Here I am writing, strong, muscular, handsome...
- What photo should I add?
- Love?
- I added a photo of Tarzan
- Let be?
- And here... I added... a girl... here's the link, look (pretends to send)
- Yes, I don’t know who it is....
- What is Peskov in a concert costume?
- Well, okay, I’ll add...
- Look, look! Someone came to the site and wrote something...
- Wow, he wants to meet... me.. (is reading) I'm Paris Hilton - added a photo...
- Now I’ll write that I liked him too... and let him also tell about himself...
- That writes?
- He writes why there are so many mistakes in every word that I had in Russian...
- I told him that Russian is bad...
- It’s noticeable - he writes that there are several mistakes in each word...
- I wrote to him that this is how to meet American women...
- Oh, look, someone else is writing...
- The girl is writing.
- That writes? He writes that I’m some kind of stunted... but it was written by a handsome, muscular man... but it’s not my fault, maybe the photo shows Tarzan as a child?
- I still read one message and that’s it...
- There is a military man in the photo... who does he want to meet there...
- WAAAAH!
- What is it, he writes, waiting for me at the military registration and enlistment office for a medical examination, in the spring for the army.
- No, I’m happy, I just didn’t expect that via the Internet... they would... send me... a summons...