Any person has found himself in a difficult situation of grief, failure or loss in his life. Everyone knows the feeling of confusion, despair and hopelessness, the feeling of one’s own inferiority. Some people know how to quickly cope with such a condition and rebuild, some succeed over time, and some are “knocked out of the saddle” for a very long time, if not forever, consider themselves losers, broken by fate or circumstances, stop acting, living a full life , go into illness or binge drinking, and maybe into depression. What to do?

Despair is one of the deadly sins. This means that you should not give in to panic, indulge in decadent moods, despair, lose hope and fall into the blues. It is very easy to proclaim, but very difficult to do. Let's try to figure out how not to give in to despair and how to overcome despondency. Maybe, after all, there are some ways to fight and overcome this difficult mental state.

1. Believe in yourself and your strengths. It means knowing that you can endure and overcome a lot. Know that a lot depends on you, and you are not just a “cog”. If it doesn't work out the first time, it will work out the next time.

2. Soberly, honestly (to yourself) and realistically assess your capabilities and abilities. This means being aware of the level of your knowledge and skills, understanding that someone may be better than you. A balanced assessment will allow you to avoid disappointment and trouble, unnecessary and wasted effort. But is anyone stopping us from becoming better, stronger, wiser, more professional? Nobody but ourselves.

3. Calm analysis of the situation. It is necessary to calmly, without emotions, evaluate the unsuccessful experience and understand what was done wrong, or whether the efforts were not enough, or maybe, on the contrary, too much. Analyzing the situation will give you peace of mind; only in a balanced state can you find a constructive solution. And a calm, even state is no longer melancholy.

4. Learn a lesson. This means understanding that failure is a precursor to victory, and everyone has failures, but not everyone views failure as a failure. It's just an EXPERIENCE. Tolerating failure releases success. It is necessary to develop the habit of taking advantage of failure; this is one of the most important techniques for achieving success.

5. Get support - moral and professional. This means turning to loved ones for help - family, friends. And/or contact specialists - doctors, teachers, psychologists, spiritual teachers. Support and assistance from loved ones difficult situations necessary for everyone. But, if you have asked for help very often and have exhausted the trust of relatives and friends, then a difficult situation is just the case when you can take control of your destiny into your own hands.

6. Look for the positive in what happened. It is a known fact that as a result of the crisis, one very wealthy businessman lost $100 million. He ONLY had 100 thousand dollars left. He committed suicide. The loss of money was the loss of everything for him, even worse than the loss of life.

And now let’s imagine an average citizen who didn’t have a ruble and suddenly had 100 thousand dollars! A lot of money! It turns out that this is from which point of view to look at. We remained alive and well, everything is fine in the family - the rest can be survived and overcome.

7. Do not break laws - state and moral. This will make it possible to live in harmony with yourself and with others, and will not lead to difficult and dangerous (and perhaps irreparable) situations.

8. Abstraction. Remember what Scarlett O'Hara said? “I’ll think about it tomorrow...” An intractable, or maybe completely insoluble situation is not the whole of life, it’s only a part, albeit a very painful one. There should be a lot in life that “keeps you afloat”. These are love, friendship, religion, nature, art (literature, painting, music, etc.), sports, hobbies. Find an activity that will distract you from heavy thoughts, or just do something else. This could be general cleaning, repairs, something that will take all your energy and time. It’s not for nothing that people say that the morning is wiser than the evening.

Just don’t “go” into alcohol and other similar pleasures. This will only drive the problem deep, from where it will be difficult to get it out, and it will also add to the moral and physical hangover.

9. Avoid negative emotions, especially guilt and shame. These emotions are not helpful in solving difficult life problems. Negative emotions interfere with the full functioning of the brain; with them it is not possible to make the right decision at the moment. And the saddest thing is that negative emotions are the basis for the emergence of various addictions, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, etc.

10. Take responsibility into your own hands. Taking responsibility means understanding that only you yourself are responsible for your life, its quality, personal achievements, and not shifting the blame to colleagues, parents, teachers, bosses, etc. If you did something wrong, then try to correct the situation in word and deed - apologize, talk and explain your position, help fix what you ruined.

11. Smile! E If you feel very bad at heart, try to smile, and even forcefully stretch your lips into a smile. The body remembers that this position of the lips corresponds good mood, and, surprisingly, your mood will begin to level out and even (!) improve. Tension, emotional and physical, will begin to subside, and the situation will no longer seem so insoluble or tragic.

Failures that haunt us can develop a fear of failure and a strategy of avoidance. This means that a person will not strive to achieve success, but will refuse active actions and try with all his might to avoid failure. The worst news is that no one can help you overcome this fear. But the best news is that everything is in our hands. We have a choice: either we grow huge weeds of fear, or we can sow the seeds of faith in ourselves and our strengths. Good luck!

Any person has found himself in a difficult situation of grief, failure or loss in his life. Everyone knows the feeling of confusion, despair and hopelessness, the feeling of one’s own inferiority. Some people know how to quickly cope with such a condition and rebuild, some succeed over time, and some are “knocked out of the saddle” for a very long time, if not forever, consider themselves losers, broken by fate or circumstances, stop acting, living a full life , go into illness or binge drinking, and maybe into depression. What to do?

Despair is one of the deadly sins. This means that you should not give in to panic, indulge in decadent moods, despair, lose hope and fall into the blues. It is very easy to proclaim, but very difficult to do. Let's try to figure out how not to give in to despair and how to overcome despondency. Maybe, after all, there are some ways to fight and overcome this difficult mental state.

1. Believe in yourself and your strengths. It means knowing that you can endure and overcome a lot. Know that a lot depends on you, and you are not just a “cog”. If it doesn't work out the first time, it will work out the next time.

2. Soberly, honestly (to yourself) and realistically assess your capabilities and abilities. This means being aware of the level of your knowledge and skills, understanding that someone may be better than you. A balanced assessment will allow you to avoid disappointment and trouble, unnecessary and wasted effort. But is anyone stopping us from becoming better, stronger, wiser, more professional? Nobody but ourselves.

3. Calm analysis of the situation. It is necessary to calmly, without emotions, evaluate the unsuccessful experience and understand what was done wrong, or whether the efforts were not enough, or maybe, on the contrary, too much. Analyzing the situation will give you peace of mind; only in a balanced state can you find a constructive solution. And a calm, even state is no longer melancholy.

4. Learn a lesson. This means understanding that failure is a precursor to victory, and everyone has failures, but not everyone views failure as a failure. It's just an EXPERIENCE. Tolerating failure releases success. It is necessary to develop the habit of taking advantage of failure; this is one of the most important techniques for achieving success.

5. Get support – moral and professional. This means turning to loved ones for help – family, friends. And/or contact specialists - doctors, teachers, psychologists, spiritual teachers. Everyone needs support and help from loved ones in difficult situations. But, if you have asked for help very often and have exhausted the trust of relatives and friends, then a difficult situation is just the case when you can take control of your destiny into your own hands.

6. Look for the positive in what happened. It is a known fact that as a result of the crisis, one very wealthy businessman lost $100 million. He ONLY had 100 thousand dollars left. He committed suicide. The loss of money was the loss of everything for him, even worse than the loss of life.

And now let’s imagine an average citizen who didn’t have a ruble and suddenly had 100 thousand dollars! A lot of money! It turns out that this is from which point of view to look at. We remained alive and well, everything is fine in the family - the rest can be survived and overcome.

7. Do not break laws - state and moral. This will make it possible to live in harmony with yourself and with others, and will not lead to difficult and dangerous (and perhaps irreparable) situations.

8. Abstraction. Remember what Scarlett O'Hara said? “I’ll think about it tomorrow...” An intractable, or maybe completely insoluble situation is not the whole of life, it’s only a part, albeit a very painful one. There should be a lot in life that “keeps you afloat”. These are love, friendship, religion, nature, art (literature, painting, music, etc.), sports, hobbies. Find an activity that will distract you from heavy thoughts, or just do something else. This could be general cleaning, repairs, something that will take all your energy and time. It’s not for nothing that people say that the morning is wiser than the evening.

Just don’t “go” into alcohol and other similar pleasures. This will only drive the problem deep, from where it will be difficult to get it out, and it will also add to the moral and physical hangover.

9. Avoid negative emotions, especially guilt and shame. These emotions are not helpful in solving difficult life problems. Negative emotions interfere with the full functioning of the brain; with them it is not possible to make the right decision at the moment. And the saddest thing is that negative emotions are the basis for the emergence of various addictions, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, etc.

10. Take responsibility into your own hands. Taking responsibility means understanding that only you yourself are responsible for your life, its quality, personal achievements, and not shifting the blame to colleagues, parents, teachers, bosses, etc. If you did something wrong, then try to correct the situation in word and deed - apologize, talk and explain your position, help fix what you messed up.

11. Smile! E If you feel very bad at heart, try to smile, and even forcefully stretch your lips into a smile. The body remembers that this position of the lips corresponds to a good mood, and, surprisingly, the mood will begin to level out and even (!) improve. Tension, emotional and physical, will begin to subside, and the situation will no longer seem so insoluble or tragic.

Failures that haunt us can develop a fear of failure and a strategy of avoidance. This means that a person will not strive to achieve success, but will refuse active actions and try with all his might to avoid failure. The worst news is that no one can help you overcome this fear. But the best news is that everything is in our hands. We have a choice: either we grow huge weeds of fear, or we can sow the seeds of faith in ourselves and our strengths. Good luck!

___________________________________________________________

To get rid of the feeling of worthlessness, you need to change your attitude towards life. This is what psychologists advise.

1. Don’t strive to achieve perfection in one fell swoop. By moving towards your goal step by step, you will achieve it sooner. Don't expect everything to work out perfectly the first time.

2. Acting correctly is not the most important thing. The main thing is to act. The surest path to failure is through disappointment in your abilities due to failure. But the ability to continue to act, despite a miscalculation, and learn from own mistakes allows you to overcome any crisis.

3. Coming second is also a success. We live in a culture that encourages cutthroat competition. The desire to be first at all costs ruined many “silver” medalists. If you learn to enjoy any of your success, even when a competitor has passed you by, then you will live in peace and harmony with yourself and with the fruits of your efforts.

4. Don’t make your life dependent on other people’s opinions. If you need recognition of your merits to maintain self-esteem, then sooner or later you will find yourself completely subservient to other people and will spend your whole life trying to win their favor. And when the flow of praise dries up, you will again be tormented by doubts.

5. Don't let one part of your life dominate the rest. If your self-esteem depends too painfully on success in one area (for example, professionally), then sooner or later everything else will lose meaning and attractiveness for you. Self-esteem will fluctuate daily and depend on the slightest failures, and the fear of failure will keep you in constant tension.

6. Remember that your personal value is not the sum of successes and failures. It is wrong to question your worth because of unfortunate mistakes. Instead, accept yourself as you are. This makes it easier to come to terms with the idea of ​​your imperfection. And the imperfection of everything that exists at the same time.

Alarming symptoms
How do you sleep?

One of the first signs of depression is sleep disturbances. Are you unable to fall asleep for a long time or, on the contrary, do you wake up much earlier than usual and are unable to fall back into slumber? This is a fairly common symptom, and many men turn to alcohol to help them forget. Alas, alcohol itself has a depressive effect and therefore is powerless to help you.

Does life make you happy?

A state where life is not enjoyable is called anhedonia. If you are no longer happy with the former sources of positive emotions - the success of your favorite football team, a computer upgrade, new sneakers - this looks like depression. Another similar sign is a loss of sense of humor.

How is your sex drive?

Libido is one of the most important indicators of your state of mind. You can find a lot of explanations why sex has ceased to interest you - health problems, outdated relationships - but most often, weakening libido is associated with depression.

How are you feeling?

When depression is in full swing, you begin to lose weight, lose your appetite, and become irritable and tearful.

It's time to do something about this!

If one of the listed symptoms persists for more than two weeks and your mood stubbornly refuses to improve, consult a doctor.

Any person has found himself in a difficult situation of grief, failure or loss in his life. Everyone knows the feeling of confusion, despair and hopelessness, the feeling of one’s own inferiority. Some people know how to quickly cope with such a condition and rebuild, some succeed over time, and some are “knocked out of the saddle” for a very long time, if not forever, consider themselves losers, broken by fate or circumstances, stop acting, living a full life , go into illness or binge drinking, and maybe into depression. What to do?

Despair is one of the deadly sins. This means that you should not give in to panic, indulge in decadent moods, despair, lose hope and fall into the blues. It is very easy to proclaim, but very difficult to do. Let's try to figure out how not to give in to despair and how to overcome despondency. Maybe, after all, there are some ways to fight and overcome this difficult mental state.

1. Believe in yourself and your strengths

It means knowing that you can endure and overcome a lot. Know that a lot depends on you and you are not just a “cog”. If it doesn't work out the first time, it will work out the next time.

2. Soberly, honestly (to yourself) and realistically assess your capabilities and abilities

This means being aware of the level of your knowledge and skills, understanding that someone can be better than you. A balanced assessment will allow you to avoid disappointment and trouble, unnecessary and wasted effort. But is anyone stopping us from becoming better, stronger, wiser, more professional? Nobody but ourselves.

3. Calm analysis of the situation

It is necessary to calmly, without emotions, evaluate the unsuccessful experience and understand what was done wrong: perhaps there was not enough effort, or perhaps, on the contrary, too much. Analyzing the situation will give you peace of mind; only in a balanced state can you find a constructive solution. And a calm, even state is no longer melancholy.

4. Learn a lesson

This means understanding that failure is a precursor to victory, and everyone has failures, but not everyone views failure as a failure. It's just an EXPERIENCE. Tolerating failure releases success. It is necessary to develop the habit of taking advantage of failure; this is one of the most important techniques for achieving success.

5. Get support – moral and professional

This means turning to loved ones for help – family, friends. And/or contact specialists - doctors, teachers, psychologists, spiritual teachers. Everyone needs support and help from loved ones in difficult situations. But, if you have asked for help very often and have exhausted the trust of relatives and friends, then a difficult situation is just the case when you can take control of your destiny into your own hands.

6. Look for the positive in what happened.

It is a known fact that as a result of the crisis, one very wealthy businessman lost $100 million. He ONLY had 100 thousand dollars left. He committed suicide. The loss of money was the loss of everything for him, even worse than the loss of life.

And now let’s imagine an average citizen who didn’t have a ruble and suddenly had 100 thousand dollars! A lot of money! It turns out that this is from which point of view to look at. We remained alive and well, everything is fine in the family - the rest can be survived and overcome.

7. Do not break laws - state and moral

This will make it possible to live in harmony with yourself and with others, and will not lead to difficult and dangerous (and perhaps irreparable) situations.

8. Distraction

Remember what Scarlett O'Hara said? “I’ll think about it tomorrow...” An intractable, or maybe completely insoluble situation is not the whole of life, it’s only a part, albeit a very painful one. There should be a lot in life that “keeps you afloat”. These are love, friendship, religion, nature, art (literature, painting, music, etc.), sports, hobbies. Find an activity that will distract you from heavy thoughts, or just do something else. This could be general cleaning, repairs, something that will take all your energy and time. It’s not for nothing that people say that the morning is wiser than the evening.

Just don’t “go” into alcohol and other similar pleasures. This will only drive the problem deep, from where it will be difficult to get it out, and it will also add to the moral and physical hangover.

9. Avoid negative emotions, especially guilt and shame

These emotions are not helpful in solving difficult life problems. Negative emotions interfere with the full functioning of the brain; with them it is impossible to make the right decision at the moment. And the saddest thing is that negative emotions are the basis for the emergence of various addictions, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, etc.

10. Take responsibility into your own hands

Taking responsibility means understanding that only you yourself are responsible for your life, its quality, personal achievements, and not shifting the blame to colleagues, parents, teachers, bosses, etc. If you did something wrong, then try to correct the situation in word and deed - apologize, talk and explain your position, help fix what you messed up.

11. Smile!

If you feel very bad at heart, try to smile and even forcefully stretch your lips into a smile. The body remembers that this position of the lips corresponds to a good mood, and, surprisingly, the mood will begin to level out and even (!) improve. Tension, emotional and physical, will begin to subside, and the situation will no longer seem so insoluble or tragic.

Failures that haunt us can develop a fear of failure and a strategy for avoiding failure. This means that a person will not strive to achieve success, but will refuse active actions and try with all his might to avoid failure. The worst news is that no one can help you overcome this fear. But the best news is that everything is in our hands. We have a choice: either we grow huge weeds of fear or we can sow the seeds of faith in ourselves and our strengths. Good luck!

Strong people always attract others. They have like-minded people around them, they get help, if necessary, they listen to them. The circumstances themselves sometimes seem to obey such people, developing as conveniently as possible.

But inner strength- this is not something that is given to a person as a gift from above, even if it looks like it. Mental strength can be developed and strengthened. It's not too late to do this at any age. You can't be late with this: whenever you try to strengthen your spirit or pull yourself together, it will always be on time.

How to strengthen your mental strength

Keep faith in what moves you forward. Some believe that the hand of God is guiding them, others are confident that the universe is helping them. Still others believe only in themselves and their own strengths. Whatever it is, you can't lose it. Self-confidence is an extremely important thing, if you don’t have it, it’s very difficult not to lose heart.

Stick to those people who inspire you and make you better. Everyone has colleagues, like-minded people, or simply role models, even on the Internet or on television. People who, through their actions and words, light a fire in your heart, after which you feel stronger: be closer to them. This is a kind of light that illuminates your life too. But some prefer to reach out to the darkness, communicating with cynical people who do not believe in anything, humiliate others, and deprive them of hope. Choosing such a social circle is a kind of self-hatred. Avoid this.

Be more active. There are many things that you can change. You should start with your own life, preferably with the smallest things. For example, you are unhappy with the mess that reigns around: clean up and come up with a system for maintaining cleanliness or stick to a schedule of housework. This is a small thing, but it is from such little things that one’s attitude towards life and its image are formed. Don't neglect the little things, start with them. Soon you will notice that you are ready for more serious changes.

Stick to your principles. There are many situations in which it is not easy to make a choice, since there are advantages to both and the third way. But, as a rule, there is one correct path among them. To do right choice, listen to your heart. There is an inner truth - every person has an understanding of it. Do not act contrary to your nature in order to be a whole and strong person.

Have long term goals. If you know what to strive for, then it will be easier for you to do right choice in many situations. A goal is like the top of a mountain. You walk through the forest without knowing the direction, but if you imagine that you have already reached the top, then from above you will see all the paths and paths to the mountain. It is also useful to imagine that you have already achieved a goal in order to understand what decision or behavior leads to it in a given situation.

Stop controlling everything. There are things that don't depend on you. Something always goes wrong, and the only way to deal with it is to learn not to worry.