Illustration: Yelena Bryksenkova

The best way out is always through. ~ Robert Frost

“I'm sitting in my hospital bed waiting to have both breasts removed. But in a strange way I feel lucky. Until now I have not had any health problems. I am a 69-year-old woman... In a few hours, I saw several dozen cancer patients in wheelchairs and on gurneys. And none of them was over 17...”

This is an excerpt from my grandmother's diary, dated September 16, 1977. I read it about 10 years ago. He will remind me that there is always something to be grateful for. And no matter how good or bad I feel, I have to wake up every day and be grateful for life, because someone, somewhere, is desperately fighting for it, writes writer and blogger Mark Chernov.

The truth is that happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to cope with them. Here are some reminders of this:

1. Pain is part of growth.

Sometimes life closes the door because it's time to move forward. This is even good, because often we do not start moving until circumstances force us. When times get tough, remind yourself that there is no pain without purpose. Move away from what hurts you, but never forget the lesson it teaches you. Just because you are struggling doesn't mean you are failing. Every big success requires a worthy fight. Everything will be alright; most likely not in a moment, but eventually everything will be... Remember that there are two types of pain: pain that hurts, and pain that changes you. Instead of resisting this pain, let it help you.

2. Everything in our life is temporary.

Whenever it rains, we know it will end. Every time you are hurt, the wound heals. After the night, day always comes - every morning reminds you of this, but nevertheless you often forget this and believe that the night will always last. Nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass.

If everything is good right now, enjoy it because it won't last forever. If things are bad, don't worry - and it won't last forever. Just because life isn't easy at the moment doesn't mean you can't laugh. Just because something is bothering you doesn't mean you can't smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. Every second you get a second chance. A chance you must take.

3. Worrying and complaining won't change anything.

Those who complain the most achieve the least. It is always better to try to do something big and fail than to do nothing and succeed. Nothing is over if you lose; it's over if you just complain. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don't let the shadows of the past cloud your future. Let the experience you gain improve your life. And no matter what ultimately happens, remember - true happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your problems and start being grateful for all the problems that you don't have.

4. Your scars are symbols of your strength.

Never be ashamed of the scars life has given you. The scar means that there is no more pain and the wound has healed. This means that you have overcome the pain, learned a lesson, become stronger and have moved forward. The scar is a tattoo of triumph. Don't let your scars hold you hostage. Don't let them make you live in fear. You can't make scars disappear, but you can start to see them as a sign of strength.

Rumi once said: " The wound is where the Light enters you" Nothing could be closer to the truth. From suffering came the strongest souls; the most influential people in this big world marked with scars. Look at your scars as a slogan: “YES! I DID IT! I survived and I have the scars to prove it! And now I have a chance to become even stronger."

5. Every little struggle is a step forward.

Patience is not about waiting; it is in the ability to preserve good mood by working hard towards your dreams. So if you're going to try it, go all the way. Otherwise there is no point in starting. This may mean a loss of stability and comfort for some time. You may not be able to eat as much as you used to or sleep as much as you used to for weeks on end. This may mean changing your comfort zone. This may mean sacrificing relationships and everything you know. This may mean time that you will spend alone. But it is loneliness that makes many things possible. This is a kind of test of endurance, of how much you really want to achieve your goal. And then you will understand that struggle is not an obstacle on the way, it is the path. And it's worth it. There is no better feeling in the world... than knowing that you are ALIVE.

6. Other people's negativity is not your problem.

Be confident when bad things surround you. Smile when others try to defeat you. This is an easy way to maintain your own enthusiasm. When other people talk bad about you, continue to be yourself. Don't let others change you. You can't take things too personally, even if it seems personal. Don't think that people do things for you. They do things for themselves.

First of all, never change to impress someone who says you are not good enough. Change if it makes you better and leads you to a brighter future. People will talk no matter what you do or how well you do it. All jokes aside, you only have one life. Therefore, do what makes you happy and be with those who make you feel good.

7. What should be will ultimately BE.

You are empowered when, instead of yelling and complaining, you choose to smile and appreciate life. There are blessings in every struggle you face, but you must be willing to open your heart and mind to see them. You can't make things happen. At some point you have to let go and allow what is meant to happen.

Love your life, trust your intuition, take risks, lose and find happiness, learn through experience. It's a long trip. You must stop worrying, questioning and doubting all the time. Laugh, live in every moment and enjoy life. You may not know exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive where you need to be.

8. The best thing you can do is keep moving.

Don't be afraid to get angry. Don't be afraid to love again. Don't let the cracks in your heart turn into scars. Understand that strength increases every day. Understand that courage is beautiful. Find in your heart what makes others smile. Remember that you don't need many people in your life, so don't strive to have more "friends." Be strong when things get tough. Remember that the universe always does what is right. Admit when you are wrong and learn from it. Always look back and see what you have achieved and be proud of yourself. Don't change for anyone if you don't want to. Do more. Live more simply.

Just keep being YOU.
Keep growing. Keep moving.

Translation of the article “8 Things to Remember When Everything Goes Wrong”

What is damage and how to get rid of it

In this article:

Damage is a strong slander against a person with the aim of destroying well-being. An obstacle to his plans and the fulfillment of his desires. Damage is easy enough. The basis of such conspiracies is anger, envy, a feeling of hatred, and a desire for revenge. More often, young girls and older women resort to spoiling plots, dreaming of doing as much harm as possible to their rivals. But sometimes among men there are those who want to put a spoke in the wheels of their competitors both in business and in their personal lives. There are many witches who undertake such acts.

But, to be honest, a conspiracy to damage is a double-edged sword, and the other end hits the conspirator’s head without missing a beat. If you find a woman who agrees to help you in a conspiracy of corruption, remember: she knows how to shift the punishment from herself and throw it on you. After all, it is you who order your revenge, and she is only a conductor. Damaging someone is sinful and always punishable. We are all equal before God, and only he can decide when and which of us should be punished for our actions. Know that when you cause damage, you are committing an act for which you will later pay for a long time, joylessly and in full.

If you think that you have already been damaged, then you need to learn how to get rid of it as soon as possible.

How can you damage a person?

In order to damage a person, you don’t need any work, no intelligence, no conscience. You need anger and resentment, the right words and a powerful energy flow. Just in case, you can take any photo of the person who is being damaged or one of his things.

Damage is not a method of protection or defense. A protective mirror is a shield that protects you from harm. Damage is a blow to one like oneself. If you motivate damage by a response, this means admitting that you yourself have sunk to the insignificant state of a person capable of offending, humiliating, and rejoicing in the defeats of others. The ability to do something bad and harm health is punishable not only in the world of magic. Intentional causing of harm is a criminal offence.

Damage is induced accompanied by similar words:

“My troubles are dear to you, my pain is dear to you, my poverty is dear to you. For me there is nothing of yours near me. Live and suffer. So be it."

Damage to death is caused by casting spells on raw potatoes, burying them in the ground on the waning moon. They bury the photo in a cemetery and cut the image with scissors heated over black candles. They cause illness by piercing the eyes with needles in the photo. They sew dolls, inserting personal items into them and read the necessary spells, also piercing the dolls with needles or burning them in the fire.

There are a lot of options for causing damage. But in order to remove damage, there are only a few proven accurate methods.

Symptoms of damage

You are spoiled if:

• You have a clear sleep disorder;
• You have nightmares too often. Often one and the same or all terrible dreams are interconnected and the same person takes part in them;
• You get sick from everything and you can’t understand why. Doctors shrug their shoulders;
• A dark streak has come in your personal life;
• The money has run out, work is tight;
• You have lost your appetite or, on the contrary, it has become too stingy and harmful;
• You think one thing, say another, often lie, get angry, take it out on your family;
• Stopped loving your reflection in the mirror.

Such symptoms are nothing more than the first signs of damage. Corruption does not provide light or hope, all your hours of rest are in vain, and good intentions are instantly generated into negative emotions. Everything falls out of hand and crumbles into dust.

First of all, give yourself some immediate relaxation. First, turn off all devices, sit in front of the clock and relax completely. Relax even your face. While watching the arrow, drive away all thoughts from yourself and do not get hung up on any idea. Follow the arrow for a minute, two. Stand up, brush yourself off like a pet, shake your hands as if you were shaking water off them. Now you really need water.

How to remove damage

Damage is very afraid of water, especially charmed water. You can take a shower or take a bath with aromas. Light light or red candles throughout the house and take a water procedure. You will feel relief instantly. In this case, you can say the following lines:

“Hello, young Zarnitsa is a red maiden, water is a sister. You worry endlessly without edge, without knowing troubles and tears. Take away my thinness and nakedness from the water. Take the river away my misfortunes and illnesses. And let whatever drains from me return to its origins.”

After taking a bath, take a clean towel, dry yourself with it and immediately put it in the wash.

The next day, if you don’t mind, go to church and light a candle for Nicholas the Pleasant so that every single one of your ill-wishers will find something good to do and be happy in their new endeavors.

In order to protect yourself from further exposure to the evil eye and damage, tie a red woolen thread around your right wrist. This bracelet will help you reflect the perception of negativity on your body and prevent a new wave of damage.

How to determine who is spoiling you.

There are several ways to determine who caused the damage. The first of them again leads to the church. You should order an akathist for your family, friends and for those with whom you do not have friendly relations. In the church they will explain to you in detail how and for what purpose you need to correctly order an akathist for the date you have chosen. In the prayer said at the specified time, those people for whom you ordered the prayer service will be mentioned.

The Nine Egg Ritual is a very gentle remedy and is suitable for regular use.

After a little more than a week, prayer for your family and friends will work to improve well-being, and prayer for the enemy will bring him the meaning of life, other interests, those things that will become more important to him than sitting and offending you. These can be completely different things. The Lord himself will determine for your enemy the fate that he deems necessary. But you yourself will recognize the person who cooked for you. bad life in his own words, because his soul will rush to meet you, subconsciously apologizing for the fact that his mind has overshadowed all human feelings. This behavior does not depend on the person himself (the desire to apologize), it happens at a higher level in the depths of consciousness, which was originally given to us by the Universe or the Lord.

Another way, without church rituals.

Take 9 fresh chicken eggs. Break one into a bowl of water at night and place it next to your bed. Ideally, the bowl should spend the night under the bed, right under your head. Overnight, a raw egg will draw out all the negative energy from you. In the morning, as soon as you open your eyes (even if this is an intermediate trip to the toilet, but it’s already dawn outside the window). Take a bowl with you and pour it into the toilet or far beyond the threshold of the house. Hold the cup against your chest with your thumbs and nails facing your chest. Pour the bowl of egg away from you with the words

“Where you came from, go there.”

The procedure should be repeated for 9 nights. During this time, the person who caused the damage will be completely exhausted, will get sick from his bile and will constantly loom before your eyes. You should try to forgive such a person.

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Problems arise periodically in the life of every person. And how we react to the imperfections of life - we avoid problems or rush into the embrasure, plunge into apathy or fill ourselves with energy to act - depends only on us.

Remember that happiness does not lie in the absence of problems, but in the ability to solve them. There are always moments to be grateful for. And your mental relief depends on the ability to direct your thoughts in the right direction.

It is a well-known fact that problems strengthen you, difficulties strengthen you, and troubles give you invaluable experience. But if suddenly plans collapse, everything goes wrong, everything falls out of hand, only a few can treat life wisely.

So everything went wrong. What to do?

Here are a few important advice, which should not be forgotten when everything does not go according to plan. It is unlikely that they will bring you immediate relief if you are not in the mood to switch to another wave of life, where you are happy and calm. But try to gradually introduce this into your consciousness, it will help you emotionally cope with the problems that have fallen on you more easily and find ways to draw strength from within yourself.

1. Pain is part of change for the better.

   Often life puts people in difficult situations because it's time to move on, to move on new level development. Emerging circumstances literally push us out, but we resist and look for ways to stay there. Because it’s familiar and not scary. Like, the swamp may be a swamp, but it’s mine.

   See problems as an incentive that forces you to overcome obstacles and circumstances. At that moment when everything goes wrong, remember that it is rarely possible to achieve your cherished goal without pain and restrictions. Make every effort to move, and not whine about how bad and difficult everything is. But, under no circumstances forget about the lesson that pain teaches you.

   Struggling with problems and pain does not mean that you have failed. Every worthy victory is the result of struggle and labor. If you don’t give in to despondency and act (even if you crawl, but don’t stand still), then life will change, that’s how it’s meant to be. Maybe not as quickly as we would like, but it will definitely change. Don't resist the pain, but let it help you become better and happier.

2. Everything passes with time.

   If it rains outside, we know that it will definitely end. And the wounds will heal. And night will give way to day. There are no things in this world that last forever. Everything will definitely pass sooner or later, be modified, and acquire new characteristics. If you are happy today, then enjoy it. And if you start a period when everything goes wrong, remember that it will definitely end. Form a conscious attitude towards what is happening, learn to notice what is hidden behind blind disappointment. Every second a person gets a new chance to start all over again. And it is precisely this chance that must, firstly, be seen, and secondly, used.

3. Anxiety and worries will not change your life for the better.

   Remember, people who constantly complain are much less successful than those who pay more attention to opportunities than to barriers. The rule that it is better to do and fail than to do nothing helps. This is a surefire way to success: if you lose, you will gain new experience and knowledge. If you win... then you win! And along the way, you have every chance to get even more than you planned. So that this does not remain just empty words, remember yourself, lying at home on the couch and comprehending unfamiliar routes. Where are you more likely to get something?

   While you are complaining, you are depriving yourself of precious time. Past mistakes should not hinder your future. Living through failures gives you experience, and lying on the couch gives you excess weight and neuroses from unmet expectations. Stop complaining, start thanking life for the absence of those problems that could be in your life. Don’t think “what if...”, choose thoughts “thank God that...”.

4. Every scar is a symbol of strength.

   They say scars make you beautiful. In fact, memories of past difficulties, marked on the body or in memory, help to realize one’s strength. Change your attitude towards “life’s scars”: life does not inflict them, but gives them, accept them with respect. A scar means that your wound has already healed, you have done it. In most cases, it no longer hurts you to remember past difficulties - you overcame the problem, learned a lesson and became much wiser and stronger than before.

   Don't let scars keep you in fear. If you feel like everything has gone wrong after a problem, change your attitude towards it. A scar is a sign of strength. Look at it and tell yourself that you were able to survive the problem. Now you have another chance to become stronger and consciously create a plan for further action.

5. Temporary restrictions harden.

   Strength and patience are characterized by a person’s ability to maintain in any life situation have a good attitude and work hard towards your goal. If you decide to reach certain heights, don't stop. It is quite possible that at this time you will need to get out of your comfort zone, sacrifice something, give up something. You won't be able to sleep as much as you want. Perhaps loneliness will overtake you. Sometimes you won't have enough money. But this is exactly what will allow you to achieve your cherished goal.

   Think of this period of time as a test of endurance. If everything went wrong, your comrades turned away, and you did not give up, then it was not all in vain. At this moment, you will clearly understand that obstacles are not given to stop you, but to improve your life.

6. The opinions and actions of other people do not concern you.

   Do not lose confidence in your abilities if someone convinces you otherwise. Smile if they try to criticize you. This is the only way to maintain enthusiasm and self-confidence. Otherwise, you will merge with the masses, step on the throat of your aspirations, but you will live your life to the joy of those around you. Just don’t think that the people around you really care about your future. No, every person cares only about himself. People love to criticize and find faults. And when they achieve their goal, they fade into the background. So listen to criticism, you can find benefit in it, but don’t give in to it completely.

   If everything goes wrong, only you know what to do. You can ask your loved ones for advice, but it’s up to you to decide whether to accept it or not. Change only if you really understand that it will make you better and happier, open up new opportunities, or protect you from obvious mistakes. People will talk about you anyway. And you have one life. So why not live it to your liking?

7. Everything will be as it should be.

   When you smile and laugh, you are filled with positive energy. This has been scientifically proven more than once. There is a well-known example that by smiling and tensing the facial muscles necessary for this, we send a signal to the brain, which is programmed to perceive a smile as an element of joy. In this way, we can subconsciously “outsmart the brain.”

   People who constantly complain and scream have little value for their lives. If everything goes wrong, your intuition will tell you what to do. Take risks, lose and find different ways out of the situation. The main thing is not to lose faith in yourself. You can be angry, but not become aggressive. You can be upset, but not to the point of developing neuroses and depression. Enjoy life even with its difficulties. Don’t let worry and anxiety spoil your precious minutes; it’s better to do something smaller and more significant, but not destructive to you.

   Try to plan your future. It’s not a fact that everything will happen exactly as you planned. But this will help you outline a goal, and the ways to achieve it may differ from what you see. However, this does not mean failure: an unsuccessful stage is a change in the path, but not its end.

8. If everything goes wrong, this is not a reason to retreat.

   Don't be afraid to show your emotions. Don't be afraid to try again. Fall in love again. Take another risk. We must not allow past cracks to turn into scars. Even when it seems to a person that everything is going wrong, he can change this course of events. Find inside yourself what makes you smile every day.

   Be proud of yourself. Never change yourself for anyone, especially if you don’t want to. Often, when a person thinks that everything is going wrong, he begins to succumb to the influence of other people (“They told me so,” “They warned me,” “I’d rather work like everyone else than get involved in business,” etc.). It is unacceptable. Set your own goals, define your limits and live your life the way you want. And if everything goes wrong, change the ways to achieve your plans, but not the goal.

We live in good time, a time of freedom and prosperity. But still, trials come into everyone’s life. Some event happens and everything goes wrong.
When solving problems like these, we must use common sense. But often, following this path, we find ourselves in a dead end. The Lord, allowing situations and difficulties in our lives, wants us to turn to Him.
What to do when trials come? The Epistle of James can help us with this. From the first chapter, James explains where trials come from: “But everyone is tempted, being drawn away and enticed by his own lust (James 1:14). It turns out that suffering is caused by one’s own flesh. Although a Christian desires to live a righteous life, sometimes the flesh takes over. And this causes internal suffering, sometimes external. If a person tries to build anything without God, he will always experience difficulties.
While overcoming these difficulties, believers may grumble, be dissatisfied, doubt God’s power, lose faith, and look for someone to blame. This is a dead end path.
But in James we read: “Does any of you suffer evil? let him pray. Is anyone happy? let him sing psalms” (James 5:13). The author of the message advised us to pay attention to our relationship with God. The word "suffering" means those who are in trials, who suffer from evil. And Jacob recommends praying, developing a relationship with God, opening your whole soul to Him, asking for understanding and strength to endure this situation. When the answer is received, sing psalms, glorifying the Lord!
Advice two: check your relationship with the ministers: “Are any of you sick? let him call the elders of the Church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord” (James 5:14). In this verse, the word “sick” means, in addition to a painful state, also an experience of lack of strength, weakness of spirit. If we ourselves cannot get out of the current situation, we must turn to our brothers for help. They will pray over us, anointing us with oil, olive oil, which is a symbol of God's grace, His presence, God's power. Anointing with oil promotes healing and strengthens faith. At the same time, it is important not to turn oil into a fetish - a cult of inanimate things. The oil itself does not heal - the Lord heals.
Another piece of advice we receive is: “Confess your faults to one another and pray for one another” (James 5:16). What is our relationship with the church? We are encouraged to seek the help of our brothers and sisters to pray for us, because Scripture states: “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2:9). We have the right to come to the throne of grace, and God hears our prayers.
Fourthly, it is important to pay attention to our inner state, faith and motives: “And the prayer of faith will heal the sick, and the Lord will raise him up” (James 5:15). A prayer of faith is a request that is accompanied by the confidence that God hears and can help, and He will help if it is His will. God may or may not heal. Healing is always associated with saving faith. Take, for example, the episode with the woman who suffered from bleeding. She said within herself that if I touched the tassel on His clothes, I would get well. And she was healed because Jesus said: “Your faith has saved you.” There are many more descriptions of miraculous salvation in the Bible. Healing is a symbol of salvation, a sign for others. But the Savior is the Lord!
Fifthly, you need to pay attention to your behavior: righteousness, purity, holiness. “...and if he has committed sins, they will forgive him. Confess your faults to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed: the fervent prayer of a righteous man accomplishes much” (James 5:15-16). James said that without internal cleansing there is no external cleansing. Difficulties and illnesses happen as a result of sin. But this doesn't always happen. However, sin should not be present in the life of a Christian. Healing occurs after confession of sin and repentance. And then God will free him from his burden and restore man.
So, if there are trials, we will pray, if there is joy, we will glorify the Lord!

Good afternoon, Elena Anatolyevna. I'm very worried about my personal life, I'm 35 years old, and I've still never been married. I had relationships with men, even those who proposed marriage to me, but I found a reason (mostly the reason was their financial insolvency) and I broke up with the guy. I always choose men who have problems with money, I do this almost deliberately, telling myself a “fairy tale” that he will suddenly become rich with me and we will get married. The relationship could last no more than a year, I get disappointed and find the next one. In fact, I don’t give a man a chance, because different opinions are starting to torment me, on the one hand I’m thinking - I don’t want to waste time with him, it’s time for me (from the age of 25) to have a child, when he starts earning money, it’s time for me to retire... And on the other hand, I am tormented by the thought, well, it’s already happened, maybe I can be patient, believe in the man, maybe he will succeed... This thought is not stable, it disappears as soon as I see my girlfriends with their husbands and children, I begin to think that I, too, have long wanted certainty in life, they say, why do I need these hopeless relationships, I find a lot of shortcomings in my man, I complain to my friends about how unhappy I am, and how bad he is, my friends support me, because they only know the situation with on the one hand, and any of his actions is examined under a microscope, with a negative color. Then the next thing begins - who are the girls friends against? As a result, I leave the man and the next one is found and again the same situation. My last man was very patient, he knew about everything, without bad habits, but did not bring money into the house, because he had problems at work, which I created for him, in the end, after 4 months of lack of money, I kicked him out of Houses. I am very ashamed, it hurts to write and realize this, I am confused in myself, in relationships, I am already tired of going through men, I am very tired of myself and of this scenario of my life. Help me please.
p.s. I have already turned to psychologists several times, but nothing helped me, because I stopped therapy before reaching the end, also having come up with very “real” reasons for myself.

Answers from psychologists

Hello, Albina. It was not possible for me to answer you right away, so I answered with some delay. Albina, no one is immune from such a state of confusion and confusion, this is not your fault, which means there is nothing to be ashamed of. The most important thing is that, no matter what, you don’t give up, but look for a way out and ask for help. One of the important conditions for fruitful work is precisely the willingness to receive help. Why am I still talking about working together with a psychologist? The causes of your internal discomfort, in the form of tension, fear, anxiety, confusion, dissatisfaction with yourself, powerlessness, are hidden from you. They are in the unconscious sphere, which is why you cannot find a way out and get what you want. There are effective short-term psychological methods that help identify the true causes of discomfort and restore access to necessary resources. Moreover, this is not a course or a program. Significant relief and understanding is achieved already at the first meeting. Whether to come again depends on the client himself, his feelings as a result of the work done together with the psychologist. It may be hard for you to believe this, but I’m talking about this because I myself have been a client many times and now I help others in the same way. Albina, I feel like it’s very difficult for you to trust a man. There are a lot of claims, tension, and control around him. There is a lot of “head” and no “heart”. Those. you constantly think, but feelings are prohibited. There are certain reasons for this, individual to you. They may be related to your life story or even someone from your ancestral system. There is also a lot of tension in you regarding financial situation. This may also apply not only to you. Everything is connected with your idea of ​​security, and these are very serious, deep-seated experiences. All this can be sorted out. Albina, blaming and reproaching yourself for failure in some area of ​​your life is a dead end. Believe me, not everything depends on the person himself, but how to manage something given still depends on us. If you are interested in my answer, and you are ready to take the risk of meeting with another psychologist, please contact me, I will be glad to help you. If a person has a request, a solution will be found. And one more thing: everything happens on time. All the best,

Osadchaya Elena Anatolyevna, psychologist Vladivostok