Since childhood, we have been taught to answer questions asked to us; if you are asked a question, you must answer it; you cannot ignore a person, this is, at the very least, ignorant. And over time, this becomes a responsibility; without realizing it, we answer all the questions that are asked to us, even if some of them seriously stress us out. Lucky are those people who were taught the opposite from childhood, I know such people, and I’ll tell you, they don’t worry about life at all, because they understand that they don’t owe anything to anyone. I myself once changed my attitude towards this, and now I suggest you do this if you suffer from a similar illness. Well, many people probably understand that the questions asked should not always be answered truthfully, but to this we must also add complete ignorance of them. Having asked you a question, a person is counting on your reaction first of all; he understandably wants you to tell him the truth, which will give him a certain strength, and accordingly make you weaker. But even if you lie or otherwise lead him by the nose, this will still be the answer to the question. If you are nervous or too impulsive, then the question was ideal from the point of view of the one asking.

Pay attention to journalists who literally freeze out their victims with specially selected questions, and therefore they are often ignored without answering them at all. The fact is that journalists have their own peculiarity: they are professionals in asking the right questions, only the right ones for themselves, and not for the person to whom they ask them. These questions can be so unnatural that they only look like questions, but in fact they are definite statements. And any people can ask you such questions, consciously or not, it doesn’t matter, the important thing is that they are trying to either reveal you, or check you, or give you some kind of role, the role of a defendant or a culprit. If you were asked a question like: “Do you want to teach people to behave aggressively towards others?” - this is not a question, unless, of course, before that you were asked about “what do you teach people and why do you do it?” If you yourself have not brought up such a question, where there is already a definite statement, this is not a question, this is a provocation. Perfect option laugh it off, simply ignore it, or mutter something unintelligible, like I didn’t understand the question. Even when answering this question with a question, you are playing along with the person who is asking you. Indeed, in this case, you show that you are ready to accept his question and consider it normal, while this is not the case, and such a question does not deserve your attention, and the person asking it to you is definitely aggressive towards you.

So it is not at all necessary to answer all the questions put to you; after all, even in court a person has the right to refrain from answering a question. Of course, you will be provoked and forced in every possible way to respond to the questions asked, but you should not succumb to provocation from others, because they need it, and they should be nervous about your calmness and equanimity, which is actually what is happening. The main thing is not to abuse this, you should not turn into a silent and completely detached person from everything, you just have to make it clear to others that you only answer what you want to answer and what is really appropriate. People want to extract information from you and use it in certain ways, but it's too big a service for them to provide often and to everyone. You can, of course, manipulate people through your answers to their questions, but I will teach you this skill some other time. This question is quite delicate, because manipulation can be positive and useful for the one who manipulates and the one being manipulated. But when people manipulate each other for evil reasons, this is already bad - this is the decomposition of society. So you understand, some things should be taught wisely and not for everyone. Therefore, for now, train yourself to have a passive attitude towards others and them, sometimes asking absolutely stupid questions. Even if they don’t show aggression towards you, but are simply interested in something from you, don’t tense up, calmly say that you don’t know what you don’t want to answer, or say that what they’re asking you about doesn’t interest you at all.

Everything, of course, depends on the question posed, but you need to understand the main thing, you are not obligated to answer it, and all you need to do is just nicely avoid answering. Don’t let people break into your reality with their questions, remain a mystery to them, the more unknown you are, the more you attract others to you. If the situation leads to the fact that you still need to answer the question posed, do it the way politicians do it. Professional psychologists work with them, bringing their level of communication with people and journalists to perfection. And therefore they often answer too generally, vaguely, not to what they were asked, and the like. I have already written that if for some reason you do not like the question asked to you, if it is not convenient for you, then answer the part of it that suits you more or, in general, the question that you would like, as then linking it with what was delivered. However, this article talks about something else, about ignoring the questions of others, and therefore, first of all, understand this. One of the main rules when ignoring questions is to be as calm as possible on your part; you may be surprised, grin, or be perplexed, the main thing is not to be indignant or nervous. After all, when you are nervous, people see your success, even if you don’t say anything in response, it’s enough that you heard and perceived them at all. And therefore they will pester you until they completely break you and you lose your temper and enter into a discussion.

But absolute calm already strains those who want to hear something from you in response, ridicule, of course, is your reaction, but if the interlocutor is not confident in himself, this will make him even more insecure, because in this case he will think that this he said something wrong. The same applies to your thoughtfulness and bewilderment, just pretend that the person asking you the question is an idiot, I think he will quickly agree with this. And of course, you may not hear the questions; your hearing may not be subtle enough, or selective enough, depending on the situation. This is what your policy should be in relation to people asking you questions; such a position meets primarily your interests, and not what we are taught at school, trying to fit us as much as possible into the interests of society. If possible, ask questions yourself, let people justify themselves, but never justify yourself, I repeat once again, you don’t owe anyone anything in this life.

Maybe you've been together for a long time and are thinking about starting a family, or maybe you've just started dating and aren't sure whether to continue.

Regardless, it's never a bad idea to do this check.

Here are 20 questions to ask yourself and your chosen one before developing a relationship further, especially when it comes to marriage.

1. Does he motivate me to become better?

Does he rejoice at your victories or does he feel insecure, maybe even forcing you to give up your desires, just so that he doesn’t feel awkward?

2. Do we really accept each other this way?

There will always be things you want to change about the other person. But no one should feel like they can't be themselves, authentic and unique, especially with the one they love.

3. Who am I?

To know if someone is right for you, you need to understand who you are. What do you want to become? What are your values ​​and goals? It is very important to realize what you want to achieve in life in order to better understand how a person fits into your future life.

4. Am I happy in this relationship?

Never get married with the hope that the person will change and THEN you will be happy together. This is a terrible idea.

5. Do I feel trapped?

Do you really want to be in this relationship most of your time or are you looking for a way to escape? Do you really feel a special connection with this person, or are you just doing well?

6. What do I do to resolve conflicts?

Do you have a desire to resolve quarrels and conflicts, or do you let things take their course? If this is important to you, you will be more attentive, less touchy, but focused on solving the problem and each other's feelings.

7. Do you have a balanced relationship?

Do you both put in the same effort, make the same sacrifices and compromises for each other? Or does one give much more than the other?

8. Can you have fun together?

It is important. Have you ever seen two people sitting across from each other at a table, eating lunch in silence, as if they were forced to spend the whole day together? It's not fun.

9. Can you have fun separately?

There is no need to be dependent on each other.

10. Why am I in this relationship?

Because you respect, love, trust and appreciate this person? Or because you are afraid to be alone, afraid to leave everything you have spent so much time on, or simply because your “biological clock is ticking”?

11. What will all this lead to?

Ask each other about your expectations for your relationship and marriage. You might be surprised.

12. Do I really trust him?

The quick, honest answer to this question may surprise you. If so, you need to ask yourself why, and how you can develop trust. No other way.

13. Am I with a good person?

Knowing what you know about him now, would you date him if you went back in time?

14. Am I attracted to him?

A person should not just be good, comfortable and beautiful. It should “catch” you, evoke emotions, attract.

15. Do I treat him as an equal or as a mommy?

Taking care of someone you love is great, but when you feel like you're raising your boyfriend—or worse, your husband—it gets more complicated. He doesn't need a mommy.

16. Do you feel supported by each other?

Do you feel like one team? Or are you constantly competing and left alone with difficulties?

Some couples avoid serious conversations about religion, marriage, children, because they think that it will all work out on its own. But by the time they realize that this is not the case, it is too late and someone's feelings will be hurt.

18. Are you growing in your relationship and individually?

You must create not only a full-fledged family life, but also to realize their passions and dreams as individuals.

19. Am I still me?

You shouldn't change your personality to fit in or to please someone.

Vladimir, 54 years old, unemployed, former economist and teacher:“I believe that it is United Russia that is pushing the law. The government could have worked and found money to delay this deadline, but [they] apparently decided that they could not work, but simply pass this law. If such a law was to be adopted, then it should have been adopted based on whether a person wants to retire later. That is, you write a statement that you cannot work and want to retire, and then you receive a small pension. If you have the strength and can still work, then you don’t write a statement and work, and in this case your pension will increase significantly. This is the kind of law I think could be adopted. My attitude [towards power] - one might say that it has not changed. I used to believe that our government does not work, but only plays a role. Now I'm unemployed. And I don’t know if I’ll get a job - at my age this is problematic. As far as I’ve heard, they want to introduce a pre-retirement age and set aside money for retraining under it. Maybe I’ll get a new specialty.”

Galina Anatolyevna, 63 years old, pensioner:“They accepted it because the president proposed it, and everyone supported it. The fact that a million signatures were brought... We have 146 million [in the country], one million will not solve anything. My attitude [towards power] has changed a long time ago. I myself have been a pensioner for ten years. Of course, I don’t have enough pension, I have another small, small apartment, and I rent it out. You can’t live on a pension alone.”

German, 50 years old, civil servant:“The king decided, so it will be so. My attitude [towards the authorities] remains the same. Why should he change? I have a neutral attitude [towards power]. I'm still twenty years away from retirement. I plan to work. You probably can’t even dream about retirement. Maybe it will be canceled altogether - a lot can change in 20 years. If I can’t work, we’ll apply for disability and receive benefits from the state. Who cares".

Anton, 28 years old, musician:“The people and deputies are different structures. This is obvious: deputies decide in a way that suits their interests. And what they need to decide. [The law will be passed] - it was pretty obvious. And my attitude [towards the authorities] is neutral. The way I treated them is how I treat them. They decide something there without us. I won't influence this in any way. I haven’t started [officially] working yet, so I don’t know how I’ll do next. I proceed from what you can do yourself: both now and in retirement. Some kind of intellectual craft, for example, will help me. I personally am a musician, I plan to make money from this.”

Natalya, “pre-retirement age”, realtor:“I can’t come up with an explanation why people (deputies - editor’s note) make such a decision. Everyone will retire, everyone will receive 8,000–9,000 rubles... Pensioners work not because they want to work hard or can work, but because they simply have nothing to live on. I don’t know why deputies make such decisions. [The deputies themselves] will receive 40–50 thousand [rubles in pensions], and this probably suits them. And I think that a lot of civil servants also receive increased pensions, but for the rest of them... I didn’t have a very good attitude [towards the authorities], and it hasn’t changed. I plan to work - both before retirement and after: as long as my legs wear out, I will work. I can’t live on my pension alone, that’s for sure.”

Yulia, 39 years old, manager:“I can't answer this question. Censored... Forgive me. ( Laughs.) My attitude towards power was quite clear. And now she (the authorities - editor's note) with her decisions simply confirms the attitude that I had. Do I plan to work until retirement? Here, as they say, we assume, but our power disposes. And you yourself understand, with this same pension reform: in our country today it works, tomorrow it doesn’t work... Either we have a points [pension] system, or some other... It is impossible for the average person to work up to this pensions, [impossible] simply due to health. Will I work until I retire? The question is, will I live to see it?”

Elena, 28 years old, teacher:“Why did they vote like that? I believe that they (the deputies - editor's note) have some kind of separate pension. Therefore, this will not particularly affect them. I think this is the reason. Everything is as usual: living wage are those who live on the subsistence maximum. My attitude [towards power] most likely has not changed. What was it? Stable. ( Laughs.) Stable neutral. I would like to work and live until retirement. But, as practice shows, you will have to work even in retirement.”

Ksenia, 25 years old, musician:“Maybe the deputies are looking into the future, and they have some statistics, calculations that this is beneficial for the country? And we, simple people, we don’t look forward and think only about what is now. And we don’t see what the deputies see... Is pension reform beneficial for the country? I'm not very good at this, sorry. I don’t get involved in politics at all and I’m not interested in it - unfortunately or fortunately. So I don't care. Unfortunately or fortunately. Of course, I plan to live until retirement. But I don’t really expect the state to pay me a pension, so I try to make sure that I have my own savings or investments. So that while I am unable to work, I have income. Not thanks to the state, but thanks to herself. What kind of investment? I'm just thinking about it for now. I used to think it was real estate, but now I doubt it.”

Victor, 59 years old, working military pensioner:“Why did [the deputies] do this? Probably because it doesn't really concern them. Now I’m a pensioner and I understand that, of course, it is necessary to equalize the number of workers and the number of pensioners, this makes common sense, but this simply does not concern them (deputies - editor’s note). They don’t live off their salaries, that’s the point. In their positions and with their salaries, they can work up to 70 years until they are kicked out. Of course, the attitude [towards deputies] has changed. Although this does not concern me, I am already retired. It is clear that this age needs to be increased - it is being increased everywhere. On the other hand, I understand that there is not enough money in the country. But they don’t want to remove the flat tax scale: whoever received billions receives billions. And whoever received a 10 thousand pension - let's wait to pay him, in case he becomes fat. Of course, this is an indecent act on the part of deputies. I have a military pension, it’s more than a civilian pension, and I’m still working, so I have enough. But if I only received a pension, that would also be enough.”

Elena, Deputy Director educational center: “They accepted it this way, I think, because that’s what the authorities dictate. Whatever the government decides will be accepted. Despite the fact that the people are against it. But, to be honest, I stopped following the news because I don’t watch TV. What is your attitude [towards the authorities]? None. I have this opinion on this: well, they will accept it this way - there’s no getting around it, everything was decided for us a long time ago. I live here and now, so I don’t think [about retirement]. I'm walking through the park and I'm glad that today is a beautiful day, great mood. God willing, we will live to see retirement. I am engaged in investments, and I have enough income from them - I don’t have to work at all. For example, I invested in a gold mining company, plus the hated cryptocurrency. But this is not Bitcoin, not Ethereum, but the onecoin currency.”

Andrey, 17 years old, schoolboy:“We understand that the Communist Party of the Russian Federation and the Liberal Democratic Party are a fictitious opposition. They will accept it anyway. An artificial struggle is simply created. The rally tool is ineffective in this country. If in Slovakia or the Czech Republic, I don’t remember exactly now, the prime minister was accused of theft, and he was removed after a rally of thousands, then it doesn’t work that way here. You can't reach from the bottom up. “He’s not your Dimon,” Bolotnaya... Has anything changed? What is your attitude towards power? It can't get any lower. You can't break through the bottom. It (attitude - editor's note) was nowhere lower, but it's already completely gone... Do I plan to work until I retire? Not in this country for sure. A pension would not be enough here. The most normal outcome in this country, when you work through a black salary: it’s easier to make personal contributions and savings than to contribute [part of your salary] to the state pension fund.”

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“Why aren’t you married?”, “how much do you earn?”, “who will you vote for?” - these and others like them tactless questions make many of us shudder. What to do if your interlocutor asks a question, but you don’t want to or simply can’t answer it?

website will tell you about 9 ways to gracefully avoid answering. And the bonus at the end of the article will tell you what to do if you come across an annoying interlocutor for whom these tricks do not work.

1. Ask clarifying questions

To pull the rug out from under your interlocutor’s feet, ask him clarifying questions, and the more there are, the better. When answering them, he will get confused and lose the thread of the conversation. The main thing is to ask questions with a serious expression on your face so that your interlocutor does not feel there is a trick. By the way, if you are talking with someone who is not very close to you, you can refuse to answer questions about salary or work in general, citing trade secrets.

2. Give a compliment

Compliments related to the question you were asked will look simpler and more natural. For example, if you were asked about children, praise the interlocutor’s child or grandchild. And add some general answer - “everything has its time,” “as soon as possible,” “it’s not up to me,” and so on. People like compliments and at the same time they are a little embarrassed. Therefore, the interlocutor is unlikely to develop the topic further. The main thing is that the praise corresponds to the true state of affairs, otherwise your compliment will be perceived as sarcasm.

3. Clarify the reason for the question

Ask your interlocutor what prompted him to ask the question, and after answering, continue to develop this topic. For example, suggest one reason or another for the question. Thus, the conversation will change direction, and the uncomfortable question will remain unanswered.

4. Answer with a joke

You can laugh off an inappropriate question in cases where when there is confidence that the joke will be understood and appreciated. This method works best in a large group, because the more people there are, the higher the likelihood that someone will laugh and tell another joke in response, thereby saving you from having to answer the question.

5. Start pouring water

This method is often used by politicians and various public figures. As a result, the interlocutor seems to receive an answer to his question, but he will not be able to say exactly what exactly was answered. The method is ideal for people whose strong point is eloquence.

6. Answer a question with a question

Another favorite technique of politicians and other persons with high social status. This method is used quite often, which is why it often causes irritation. Therefore, it is better to use it only in exceptional cases.

7. Show off your intelligence

The method is useful if knowledge allows you to develop a deep discussion on the topic you set. A large number of really interesting facts can distract even the most annoying interlocutor from the question asked.

8. Reframe the question

The point of this method is to make the interlocutor feel the absurdity and inappropriateness of his question. It is important not to overdo it with sarcasm,otherwise the interlocutor may be offended. Remember, your goal is to maintain this person's goodwill (as long as he doesn't ask inappropriate questions too often, of course).

What started? – asked Toriel.

It's time for me to go. Thank you for your hospitality,” I got up from the chair and started to leave.

As always, you worry about something, forgetting about your safety,” I stopped, listening to her parting words. - Well, take care of yourself.

Thank you for your concern, but I really have to go,” I smiled back at her.

I wish you good luck, it will obviously be useful to you. And lastly, take this piece of pie. No matter how strong you are, you still need something to maintain your health,” taking the pie and thanking Toriel, I left.

Coming out of the ruins, I stopped because I was overcome with cold. I buttoned up my jacket to keep myself a little warm. It was quiet here as never before, so the creaking of the snow seemed even louder. Walking further and further along the path leading into the city, I did not meet a single monster, although there had been plenty of them before. Walking past my former post, I noticed a whole jar of mustard. I picked it up and put it in my inventory. HP is never superfluous.

After my post came Papyrus's post. That's where the noise was coming from. The entire area was in rubble, some of the trees behind the post were knocked down, and some were partially damaged: the bark was charred and the crown was burned. Instead of the post itself, there was a black trace from the explosion. “Wait, where is Papyrus himself?” - I came to my senses.

Papyrus! – I shouted, hoping that he would respond, but instead someone behind me clapped his hands. I turned around.

I see that someone is no longer hiding their essence. Aren't you afraid that your brother will find out?

Sorry, I really don’t remember you,” the sound of water was heard from above. I raised my head and saw that a stream of water was pouring on me. I jumped back. The water poured out onto the snow and hissed, followed by steam. - What is this boiling water? - He nodded his head. “You know, no matter how much I enjoy your company, I need to go,” I teleported a little further from this place.

Not so fast,” he appeared before my eyes.

Okay, first tell me: what's your name?

Tra-la-la, what's my name? However, it doesn’t matter - this initial phrase...

I remember you! You always wanted battles, thinking that this would bring you closer to the post of head. When I gave up the place, you were one of the best in the battle, but when asked about how best to get out of conflict situation, you didn't answer correctly.

Shut up! - a hole filled with water formed under my feet. Having built a “floor” out of bones, one might say, I came out unscathed. Then she teleported to the side. - I didn’t fail. “I’m the only one who understands the rules of this world,” he pointed ice spears at me, I couldn’t dodge only one, which hit my shoulder (- 0.1 HP).

I didn’t choose you then, not because you were weak, but because you didn’t have the traits that a leader should have. You showed cruelty to everyone who crossed your path, and you cannot carry on a calm conversation - the whole world around you characterized this situation: the sky became grayer, the gusts of wind became stronger, it was felt that the atmospheric pressure and humidity were increasing. “Don’t you understand that monsters want peace?”

Monsters are monsters to be cruel. If not, then why do they need power? – his mouth appeared, and his eye began to glow red.

It’s simply useless to prove anything to you... I don’t want to fight. Maybe we can just talk calmly?

I know your favorite tactic of mercy, but it doesn’t work on me,” he made a sword out of water and attacked me. Without wasting any time, I summoned a sharp bone and repelled the attack. -Are you really going to fight?

I’m not a coward after all - I prepared the bone for defense.

He delivered each blow with such force, as if he had been harboring anger towards me since birth. Trying not to give in to him, I caused some damage, but it healed immediately. It feels like it's made of water. I will not allow him to somehow darken the already so darkened guard with his terrible beliefs. I'm missing Papyrus.

You're losing your grip, first one. There is no longer the same fuse as when the guards flourished - taking advantage of the fact that he was distracted to utter a phrase, I knocked him to the ground and put a bone to his soul.

“I always warned you not to be distracted by conversation, otherwise you could, at a minimum, get hurt,” he smiled. – No matter how arrogant you are, you still remain my student.

I felt that someone hit me on the back with something heavy. My body fell to the ground. During this time I was hit once more on the head. There was a strong ringing in my ears, I saw the world and these two blurry, and hot blood ran down my face. Red drops fell on the dirty snow.

Sir, finish?

No, we use mercy. She doesn’t have long left anyway,” they laughed and left.

Minus 0.8 HP. I stuck out the mustard and drank the whole jar. This only happened to me once... After the war. Gaster then found me near the mountain, small and helpless. At first he thought I was human. But after looking at my eyes, which had black whites, and how I create bones with the help of magic, I was no longer so sure of this.

Girl, do you have parents? – he slowly approached me. I shook my head. - Okay, where are they?

D-daddy was killed in the war, and m-mommy was killed by people because she was a skeleton,” my voice trembled because I had been crying for a long time.

Maybe you have close people?

No, they kicked me out of the village, threw stones at me, saying that I didn’t deserve to live, - I cried even harder.

Hush, child,” he came even closer. - Oh, my... - he saw many open wounds and bruises. – Your HP is at its limit. “I’m surprised you’re still alive,” he restored half of his HP with the help of healing magic, “the human body doesn’t regenerate well.” Can you go?

N-no, my leg hurts a lot... Don't touch me!

I won't hurt you. “I want to help,” he felt my leg. – You have a closed fracture. I will take you to my place and cure you. People, I think, will not accept you.

Never? Why, I didn’t do anything wrong...

You're half a monster. I’m afraid they won’t understand... - taking me in his arms, he carried me to the dungeon.

If he hadn't found me then, would I still be alive? I can't answer this question. Just like the other question: are there beings like me?

Due to the blow to the head, I fell asleep...