Often, making the decision to leave a stable job, no matter how exhausting and monotonous, is quite difficult. People try to keep their world in their comfort zone until the last moment. But because of the fear of the unknown, we lose opportunities for development. Ilya Nikitenko, founder and executive producer of the online school “Practice”, talks about how you can start your own business with minimal losses for yourself - psychological, temporary and material

A year ago, I decided to leave my hired job, where I worked for ten years, and start my own business. If the thought appears in your head that it’s time to change something in your life, then you need to leave.

Why do you need to leave?

1. You will not be able to give your best at work, all your thoughts will be focused on the internal conflict.

2. Your life satisfaction will decrease every day.

3. You are a disruptive employee to your company. Even without noticing it, you influence the people around you. You express your dissatisfaction with your superiors, challenge tasks, prove that you are smarter than the boss. Here I will disappoint you: if you are so smart, then why aren’t you the boss yet?

4. Your mood will be transmitted to your family and loved ones.

5. You will start to get sick for no apparent reason, simply because your body doesn’t want to go to work.

Congratulations, you have now realized that it is time to leave and start your own business. Let me tell you right away, it won’t be easy. All the problems are in your head, if you cannot find joy in any activity, then changing jobs will not help. But I hope that this is not your case, and that you want to leave for objective reasons.

Now answer yourself honestly three questions: Why? How? What?

1. Why do you want to start your own business? What's the big idea or mission that drives you? It is important not to move on to the next questions without answering these ones.

2. How will you do this?

3. What exactly will you do?

Many people ask themselves these questions in the sequence What - How - Why. In this case, you will understand what you will do, you will know how to do it, but you will not know why. Why is what will move you forward, no matter any difficulties.

You answered all the questions, realized that you are ready, what to do next?

1. Burn bridges. Submit your resignation and don't leave yourself the opportunity to return.

2. Goals. Seneca said: “There are people who live without any purpose, they pass through the world like a blade of grass in a river: they do not walk, they are carried along.” Many articles have been written about the importance of goals, I will not delve into the process of goal setting, I will only say that you need to sit down and write down your main goal for the year; for six, three and for the next month. Write down specific steps and tasks that you will do to achieve your goal, set a time frame and start taking action.

3. Discipline. No matter how much you are motivated to build own business, there will come moments when you want to sleep longer or postpone things until tomorrow.

I recommend that you draw up your ideal of discipline. Write down point by point what you will do every day so that your discipline is 10 points out of 10. For example: I will get up at 6:30, do exercises or run, take a contrast shower, have breakfast, turn off the phone for 4 hours, and so on. And try every day to achieve perfect discipline. The moment you face difficulties, you will have discipline and you will not give up on your goal.

4. Training. You, as the founder of your future business, need, if not to be an expert in various fields, then at least have an idea of ​​how and what works, so under the article I have left a list of books for you #mustread And useful resources #mustvisit.

5. Environment. Your environment shapes your way of thinking. Set a goal to meet ten successful business owners in your industry, arrange a personal meeting, prepare a list of questions and a self-presentation in which you tell them how you can help. Listen to your interlocutor carefully.

We dream so often, set goals for ourselves, make plans, but internal fears prevent us from finally making our dreams come true and starting to act. Due to the fact that people are always afraid of something, many brilliant projects have not been born. In this article you will get acquainted with experience-tested tips that will help you get started.

Are you sure you need this?
One of the easiest ways to understand whether you really want something is to imagine that you have already given up on it. If you only regret the money and time spent, perhaps this is not what you wanted. Sometimes plans and ideas are imposed on us by our environment, because everyone around us insists that our own project is cool and profitable. And sometimes we just need to bring something new into life, and we confuse a hobby with the work of our life, into which we need to invest not only money, but also our soul.

You need a plan
When we make up our minds detailed plan, our goal no longer seems so unattainable. It is necessary to describe the coming year in detail; you can divide it into months or even weeks. It is possible that something will change over the course of a year: some stages will turn out to be failures, while others, on the contrary, will be very successful. The main thing is not to give up and not give up, because even failures are an absolutely normal occurrence in business, and any entrepreneur can confirm this. And after drawing up a plan, look and think about where you can start. Maybe make some calls or make an appointment? Don’t put it off, because you always need to start acting right here and now.

Face your fears
What are you afraid of? Write down all your fears, and opposite each one - what needs to be done to avoid such an outcome.
Are you afraid that your product will not be of interest to anyone? You shouldn’t give in to your own doubts; it’s better, for example, to conduct an anonymous survey on social networks.
Are you afraid of losing money? You shouldn’t invest all your funds at once, because first you can purchase a small batch of goods.
Are you afraid of losing? And you shouldn’t set yourself up for loss, you need to do everything possible to make sure everything succeeds. and think only about good things.
When you start working with your fears, you can calmly draw up an action plan that you will slowly begin to follow, overcoming all obstacles step by step.

Now look at the benefits
As you know, thoughts are material, so thinking and imagining the desired outcome is also necessary. Visualize your desires, you can also make a moodboard or describe in words how you imagine your project to be in 5-10 years.
Think more positively, so anxiety and fears will gradually fade away, and it will be easier for you to move towards your goals.

Share your plans
Of course, this advice is only suitable for the bravest. Don't be afraid to share your plans and ideas in social networks, challenge yourself. Set yourself a goal, build an action plan and share with your friends how you are moving towards your dream. Firstly, it will stimulate you and will not allow you to retreat, and secondly, you will also gain support from your friends, which is quite important.

Remember that you need to start acting today, because by putting everything on the back burner, you won’t notice the day when it’s too late to make this dream a reality. Remember that making mistakes is not scary at all, the truly scary thing is missing your chance without even trying.

How do you feel about changes in your life? Are you happy about them or are you afraid that they will bring something bad? This is a very important question.

Ultimately, it is he who decides whether you make your life the way you want it to be or not.
Look outside. Can you point to anything that is not subject to change?

Many have asked the question “How to make up your mind and change your life”

And everything in this world changes. Nothing is stable.

Even mountains and rocks grow and collapse. Even the Universe is changing. Clinging to stability is one of the deepest delusions of man. By trying to achieve stability, you violate one of the fundamental laws of nature - the law of change.

One sign that you have broken this law is that suddenly changes begin to enter your life.

How does this usually happen?

Up to a certain point, everything is going great: husband, family, work, position.

And suddenly everything starts to collapse in one beautiful moment. The husband leaves, he is fired from his job, relatives get sick, we ourselves begin to get sick, something absurd happens to the children - in short, the world seems to go crazy.

Everything is falling apart. This is a sign that it is time to work with yourself. You sat still and missed the moment of change without letting it into your life.

So you have a goal.

You have already defined it for yourself and want to implement it. What are you immediately faced with? To achieve ANY goal, even the smallest one, you need to do something, finally get off the couch and make changes in your life. Decide to change your life and finally begin to implement this decision.

A measured and monotonous life, even and smooth, with no signs of distraction from the course, or a turn from the intended and direct path. This is how we all live...

Everything is fine - and okay. The main thing is that it doesn’t get worse...

Most of us decide to make changes in our lives when things get worse: the fear of the obvious becomes worse than the fear of the unknown.

But all life is built on progress, which is possible only thanks to our actions. Action brings change. And here the circle closes, because... Without change, progress is not possible. And how do our dreams and goals end in the end? Yes, nothing. Why change everything, it will do just fine.

There is no need to waste energy and time - wait until life reaches a crisis or comes to a dead end.

And if you find yourself in a crisis or dead end, look at this situation as the last call: the time has come to learn to manage your life.

Better yet, start learning how to manage change without waiting for a dead end or crisis. Dream and fear are present at the beginning of any new business.

Can a dream cope with the fear of change?

This is the first issue that will need to be resolved. And decide not in words, but in deeds - practically - to begin changes, leaving further doubts.

In addition, we are not only afraid of change, we are also too lazy to change anything in our lives for the better.

Let's take the simplest and most basic things. It's time to relax, buy a car, clarify your relationship or go on a diet - this is completely obvious to you. But you are still dragging your feet and postponing the moment of decisive action for an indefinite period of time.

Yes, all because laziness, the great force of inertia, it is easier to live along a well-established rut, any changes are fraught with problems, or you simply lack willpower to move in a fateful direction. How to spur yourself on and bring your will into “working condition”?

7 ways to change your life

Psychologists recommend using additional motivation methods that will help you get rid of fears, turn on self-control and quickly get closer to your dream. Each of them is good in some way for a particular person and bad in some way, and may not have any effect on someone at all.

Therefore, choose a couple of techniques that are most suitable for you personally, get involved in the game and do not expect instant results: this is only possible in dreams, but in life - every step towards the goal counts.

Positive Visualization

This is a conscious representation in the mind of the desired object, event, state in the smallest detail, a kind of movie of your dreams.
The task is to present as clearly as possible the happy result of your efforts: how, with the applause of the team, you receive the position of head of a department; like a march

Mendelssohn, marry the Man of your Dreams; how you accept enthusiastic compliments about your almost model figure.

Try to feel all the delight of what is happening, taste the beauty of victory and “preserve” positive feelings. This moment, even if lived in fantasy, will help you cope with the internal “I don’t want or can’t.” Whenever your willpower leaves you, recall the moment of your imaginary triumph in your memory and make a breakthrough on a wave of positive emotions.

In addition, a picture of a bright future that has taken root in the subconscious usually stimulates a person’s perseverance; it is like a beacon that one wants to go to, no matter what.

The technique of positive visualization does not have to be aimed directly at a happy ending; it can be aimed at some intermediate result of efforts, at a local dream. For example, you want to visit England.

So study its history, culture and nature from books and films. Mentally imagine yourself on the streets of London and Liverpool. Savor the details.

Imagine taking a photo at the John Lennon monument, or making eyes at the sentry at Buckingham Palace. As soon as this country consciously and subconsciously becomes “yours,” you will turn on your will, earn money and do everything to go there.

"Scary Movie"

This is visualization in reverse.

Create in your mind a “full-length movie” about how horrifying things will unfold if you don’t do what you plan. You don’t go to an important interview, you don’t get the coveted vacancy. You will never have the opportunity to apply for such a place again.

You languish on a microscopic salary and a boring job, retire with unfulfilled dreams and unrealized potential and die in poverty.

You involuntarily burst out: “Not that!” - that means it worked.

Now go back to the beginning of the film, when you are okay, and think, maybe it’s worth a little effort now to change the plot and ending of the film? That is, gather your courage and go to this very interview, and to the next one too. No matter how scary it is.

By the way, your “thriller” can be on any topic.

Wish card

Let's say you are eager to buy a car.

Cut out pictures from the catalog with cars of the desired brand and color, make a collage of them on a piece of cardboard, paste your photo on the driver's seat, insert the collage into a frame and hang it in a visible place.

A picture-reminder of what you want helps ensure that energy accumulates and accumulates and one day it will break through - there will be an explosion of will that will allow you to get closer to your goal.

Prize

The expectation of praise and material reward stimulates our activity and initiative.

This is how we are built for selfish reasons. However, if you overcome yourself and go for a morning jog, no one will write you an award or give you an audience award for refusing a hearty dinner in favor of a light salad.

Then it makes sense to move on to self-promotion. Americans call this the joy principle.

• I plucked up courage and outlined my complaints to the boss - good girl, get a massage course.
• I courageously went on a diet and lost 4 kg in 2 weeks - well done! I give myself luxurious lingerie.

And in order not to go broke on gifts for every victory or effort of will, introduce a “token system” - their number and, accordingly, the reward will depend on how distinguished you are. This will make the reward system even more interesting.

Investment

For someone who is rich and noted for wastefulness, this method of additional motivation is not suitable.

Set a goal and invest a large sum into it at once. For example, you want to replace the fat folds on your stomach with elastic muscles, but you don’t have the willpower to start serious training

Make a knight's move: buy an expensive exercise machine.

Now try to ignore this sports equipment. Nothing will work! If you don’t study, you will wear yourself out with remorse for wastage. It is the material loss that will force you to strain your willpower and muscles and, ultimately, lead to your cherished goal - a slim figure.

Of course, this applies not only to sports. Having purchased the most expensive language laboratory course, you will certainly begin to learn a foreign language, and having paid a tidy sum for the services of a nutritionist, you will certainly begin to limit yourself in food and eat a balanced diet.

You can check this by attending the event.

Oath

Give it and sign it in blood!

The blood thing is, of course, a joke, but if you are consistent and honest, it should work. Make a bet on something material with your family that, for example, you will quit smoking.

Thus, you will burn all the bridges to retreat: you will have no choice but to forget about tobacco, eradicating a long-term habit. Please note that if you fail, you will pay double the rate: your self-esteem will decrease, the respect of others for you may fall, and you will lose money.

What to do with “I can’t” and “I don’t want”

"All! This needs to change!” - they decide alone and immediately begin to implement their plans. "All! This needs to change!” - others decide and... do nothing.

There are serious reasons for such indecision, and they need to be dealt with so that they do not interfere with the implementation of plans.

Reasons to start life over with a new leaf

For all people, sooner or later there comes a time when you want to give up on everything and radically change your life. There is a desire to turn back time and correct mistakes. There may be many reasons for this, but everyone has their own. We tried to collect and highlight the most common ones. Namely:

• Least favorite place to work. It's not often you meet a person who works at a job he loves. Often we choose a profession not according to the call of our hearts, but based on some circumstances (for example, we are satisfied with the salary or work schedule).
• Relationships that have exhausted themselves. In order to find your soul mate, sometimes you have to build relationships with several partners. With some people get short-term alliances, with others longer ones. Often, each partner understands that this is not their soul mate, but no one wants to change anything in their life. Then the couple continues a relationship that has no future. In this case, both suffer.
• Unsettled personal life. Dissatisfaction with the present may be due to the fact that a person does not have a life partner. Such people want to start a family and arrange their personal life. But for some reason this cannot be done. Many people decide to start a new life after a divorce, hoping for a bright future.
• Bad habits. Very often our lives are spoiled by bad habits. For example, a person likes to drink. It seems like nothing, but when alcohol becomes the cause of uncontrollable behavior and unpredictable consequences, changes are vital for an addicted person.
• Serious illnesses. There is nothing worse than feeling helpless against illness. When a person becomes seriously ill, he begins to approach life differently. All the troubles that happened before seem insignificant. A person can have a hard time bearing not only his own illness, but also the troubles of people close to him.
• Problems with excess weight. People with extra pounds are often dissatisfied with their body and the state of affairs. They understand that something needs to change, because their personal life, health, degree of self-esteem, etc. depend on it.

Where to start a new life

The hardest thing in any business is taking the first step. Many people who decide to start their lives from scratch experience chaos in their thoughts. They understand that something needs to change, but they don’t know where to start.

We have selected a few tips that will not let you get confused at the first stage of change.

1. Finish all previously started tasks. You shouldn't start a new life with unresolved issues. For example, your ex-boyfriend still calls, talks about his problems and wants to renew the relationship. If this communication is unpleasant and uncomfortable for you, take courage and express your opinion about the current situation. Let the person go and start a new life.
2. Get rid of unnecessary things and garbage. It is believed that if you have not used an item for a year, you will no longer need it. Clean up your surroundings.
3. Forget the past. The past will forever remain in the past. If you decide to change your job and take the first steps, don’t look back, don’t think that maybe you made a mistake. You start new period life, and the previous one has already passed.
4. Say goodbye to the present. Try to live for tomorrow. Make plans, think that a happier period of life awaits you ahead.
5. Determine for yourself a clear. For example, if you want to become a financially independent person, then you don’t need to immediately dream of a million-dollar fortune. Try to identify a realistic dream. Once achieved, you can always set the bar higher.
6. Motivate yourself. Depending on your goal, you need to think about what motivation methods you will use. For example, you are dissatisfied with your appearance due to excess weight. In this case, you can hang photographs of models throughout your apartment; their bodies will encourage you to exercise and eat right.
7. Keep a positive attitude. People with an optimistic outlook on life begin a new life. Repeat to yourself several times a day the phrase “I am strong, I can do anything.” Over time, you will believe in your strength, and you will be able to overcome any problems.
8. Decide what exactly you want to change. Write it down, draw it, say it out loud.
9. Visualize your dream. Imagine how you wanted to live in 5-10 years. Many people with a clear vision of the future achieve their dreams in reality.
10. Believe in yourself and your strengths. If you do not have faith that you will realize your plans, then others will not believe it. It is impossible to achieve anything without believing in yourself.

How to change your life. Active phase

After you mentally said goodbye to past life and continue to look into the future with optimism, it is necessary to move on to the active phase.

If you decide to change your job, start going to interviews and looking for suitable vacancies. If the reason for changes in life is excess weight, then sign up for Gym and start eating healthy.

In addition, use the following tips to help you quickly quit everything, move away and start your life again.

In order to change your life for the better, you need to act today. We have compiled a sample daily routine and necessary rituals that will help you feel like a new person.

1. Wake up earlier than usual . Setting your alarm clock just a few minutes earlier will still add something new to your life.
2. Go for a run or do some exercise . Physical activity not only has a beneficial effect on the body, strengthens the spirit, but also improves mood.
3. Take a contrast shower . Thanks to it, you will improve your body, become well-invigorated and finally wake up.
4. Now you can take a few minutes to meditate . After charging, your body has finally woken up, but now you need to tune your mind in the right way. Meditation is perfect for this.
5. Have a good breakfast .

After all the procedures done, you will certainly be in a great mood, which you will need to maintain throughout the day.

• Go to work, and do not forget to smile at everyone, even strangers. After a while, you will notice that the people around you also radiate joy.
• In the process of work and rest, try to communicate with people - “lighters” who will ignite in you the enthusiasm to conquer new heights.
• At the end of the day, take time for self-development. You can read books, watch educational programs, listen to an audiobook, study foreign languages etc.

How changes occur at different periods of life

At different periods of life, people's values ​​are different.

• A 20-year-old person tolerates changes more easily and is inclined to think less and act more.
• 30-year-old people are more thoughtful about trying to start a new life. It is at this age that a person strives to find himself. During this period, there is a desire to change specialty and place of residence.
• Starting a new life at 40 is more difficult. People do not radically change their existing way of life so often, but during this period there is an active reassessment of values. For most parents, their children have grown up and do not require their care. Therefore, people at this age begin to pay more attention to themselves.
• At 50 years old, women feel that they are still young, and their future depends only on themselves. They change themselves, make adjustments to their lives. It is often at this age that people find their soul mates and begin to live for their own pleasure.

No matter how old you are, if you decide to change your life and start over from scratch, we recommend:

• Look to the future with optimism;
• Don't be afraid of change;
• Change yourself and your environment;
• Find a new hobby;
• Set a goal for yourself and develop an algorithm for achieving it;
• Change your attitude towards life.

Advice from psychologists that will encourage you to take action

If you turn to a psychologist with the question, “How to start a new life and change yourself?”, most likely you will be asked to do some exercises. Now we will analyze them in detail.

1. Collage of wishes. Take a piece of paper (it’s better if it’s a Whatman paper of at least A3 size) and several women’s magazines. Make a list of your wishes. Cut out pictures from magazines that match your wishes and paste them on a poster. Place your poster in a visible place. You must see him constantly. As your wishes come true (and they will definitely begin to come true), cross them out. Thanks to the collage, you will not forget about your goals.
2. Saying goodbye to bad qualities. Think about what negative qualities you are endowed with. It could be envy, laziness, fear of change, etc. Write them all down on a piece of paper and set it on fire. Now take the ashes and scatter them to the wind. At the same time, mentally imagine that you have gotten rid of these qualities, and they will never return to you.
3. We draw up a summary of the life we ​​have lived. Often, when a person strives to start over from scratch, he becomes disappointed in the years he has lived and becomes depressed. It seems to him that part of his life has been lived in vain. But it is not always the case. Take a piece of paper and write down the joyful events of the past years, your achievements or successes. For example, you received higher education, achieved recognition and respect at work, became parents, traveled and saw the world, etc. There is no need to perceive the past as the worst part of your life. It’s just a passed stage, after which a happy future opens up. Article

This motivation is primarily responsible for the initial desire to want. She is responsible for the need for play, entertainment, and structuring her time.

In psychology there is such a thing as ego states. So there are three ego states (parent, child and adult), each of them is responsible for a specific function.

Functions of the psyche:

The function of a parent is to take care of himself and others, teach and explain, control, observe social principles, rules, norms and prohibitions, approve and criticize, etc.

The function of a child is to want, desire, motivate us and act; give life brightness and richness, the inner child is responsible for spontaneity and naturalness, create new things, create fantasies and ideas.

The function of an adult is to be in a conscious state, negotiate, adapt, correspond to reality, consider desires, plans and events in general from the perspective of common sense and benefit, analyze and calculate options, act as much as possible in effective ways that a person knows.

If a person doesn’t want anything, then most often there are problems with this type of motivation. Problems occur due to a malfunction of the inner child.

Who is to blame for everything?

Social programming and parents in childhood suppress and deform the child’s motivation by ignoring his spontaneous aspirations in his endeavors, his desires and needs.

Prohibitions. These are often the reasons why problems arise with this type of motivation. Someone was beaten on the hands, someone was constantly told “no, it’s bad, don’t climb, don’t touch, don’t walk, don’t try, it’s dangerous, etc.” in almost every action they take.

Thus, raising the child to be an obedient slave with many prohibitions and social restrictions. And as a consequence of such negative upbringing, a lack of basic primary motivation is formed in adult life. Such phrases form shackles with which a person can live for the rest of his life if he does not know what and how to do.

Such changes occur both at the level of the psyche (mental energy runs out) and at the level of physiology (those areas and areas of the brain that are responsible for primary motivation and desire are de-energized).

“Primary motivation” can and should be “Included”. And then the suppressed, constrained energy will be released and energy and strength will automatically appear. Interest in life will awaken. The psyche will no longer block itself.

Must, Must, Must:

If a person was constantly told what and how to do. As a result of such upbringing, the skill of independence does not develop and primary motivation is blocked or simply atrophies as unnecessary.

So that the psyche does not go into chaos from conflicting needs and desires (when you want one thing, but are told to do something else). It simply turns off primary motivation. And a person has no desire to live his life as he wants. Instead, it is already dictated what a person “SHOULD” do, what is “RIGHT” and what he “SHOULD” do.

What's the catch?

And even when a person achieves everything that “NEEDS”, he does not feel any procedural or final pleasure from the work done. It seems like I learned how to earn money and have some kind of relationships. But one of the most important components for happy life- there is no desire to live, to want, to explore the world around us and to have fun at the same time. And without this, life becomes boring, gray, perhaps “Correct”, but it is not happy.

Is there a magic pill or is there something else...

If there is no “primary motivation”, there is no energy and desire to want or do anything at all. In other words, there is no key to healing. And no matter what the person does, the car will not move until the keys are returned to the ignition.

When this motivation works well, then you can practice strategic planning- competently set goals and implement them. Because a person knows what he wants - he has good contact with himself. His desires and needs awaken. Your hands are itching to do something, there is a reserve of strength and energy to realize your desires. Life is moving in the right direction.

What to do?

In order for primary motivation to work well, it gives vital energy, motivation and interest in life. In this case, you need to work with structures emotional intelligence. It is necessary to restore the work of the inner child at the mental level, and at the body level, so to speak, “Turn on” those areas of the brain that have stopped working. That is, you need to restart the signals that are blocked.

It is necessary to ensure that those areas of the brain that are responsible for this primary motivation are activated, so that the psyche returns to the correct original state, when everything is “OK”. In order for the desire to set and achieve goals to be natural, the motivation to do this was formed not only and not so much consciously, but precisely from the depths of the soul and body. Then life will delight and bring satisfaction.