Self confidence. A self-confident person is a lifestyle. What is a self-confident person?
The feeling of confidence for most people depends on the circumstances and options for the development of events. This is probably why we so often think about how to gain stable and permanent self-confidence. We also live in a world where the popular motto is “fake it until you make it.” Therefore, how can one determine whether a person is truly confident in himself or is this just his mask? Keep in mind that confidence is not swagger, bravado or ostentatious bravery. Confidence has nothing to do with selfishness, narcissism and disregard for other people. True confidence is humble and understated and is a natural manifestation of ability, experience and self-esteem. Do you want to recognize truly confident people? They are united by the nine features described below.
1. They adhere to their point of view not because they consider it the only correct one, but because they have no fear of mistakes.
Self-confident and vain people, as a rule, stand by their position, completely ignoring other opinions and points of view. They believe that they are right and want to prove it to everyone. Their behavior is not a sign of confidence, but rather that of an “intellectual badass.” Truly confident people are not afraid of being wrong. Finding out the truth and objective facts is much more important for them than convincing everyone that they are right. And when they are mistaken or mistaken, it is not at all difficult for them to admit it.2. They listen much more actively than they speak.
Boasting is a mask that hides insecurity, and this model of behavior is completely uncharacteristic of self-confident people. They know their position, but they also want to hear yours. They ask open and direct questions, giving other people freedom to express their point of view and asking for their opinions and possible advice. Confident people know they have enough knowledge, but they are hungry to know more, and the only way to learn more is to listen more.3. They do not like to bask in the glory of bringing other people into the spotlight.
More often than not, these are the people who do most of the work. They are the ones who cope with all the problems and unite disparate workers into a highly productive team. But fame and stormy applause are not of interest to them; they know how to be content simply with the results, because they already know what they have achieved. They do not need value judgments from outside because they know how to make correct value judgments within themselves. This is why they prefer to remain on the sidelines and celebrate their achievements by bringing others into the limelight.4. They can easily and naturally ask for help.
People often think that asking for help is a clear sign of weakness, and that asking questions is a sign of a lack of knowledge, skills or experience. Confident people have no problem admitting their own weaknesses. They seek help not only because they desperately need it, but also because they understand that this way they improve the self-esteem of another person. A simple phrase, “Could you help me?” demonstrates great respect for the opinion and experience of the person to whom it is addressed. Otherwise you wouldn't contact him.5. They always ask the question “Who else if not me?”
Many people believe that they have to wait: wait for a career advancement, wait for an offer from an employer, wait to be noticed. Confident people don't wait. They simply begin to make contacts and take action, at least even on social networks. We all have friends and acquaintances who may know someone we need. Confident people know their worth, they know that if they want, they can find financing, set up production, build their own relationships and network of contacts, choose their own path, in the end.6. They don't put other people down.
Please note that people who like to gossip and discuss others behind their backs do this because subconsciously (or consciously) through comparison they want to find evidence that they are still better and superior. But confident people simply don’t need all this.7. They are not afraid to look stupid...
Truly confident people aren't afraid to put themselves in situations where they don't look their best. And, oddly enough, people tend to respect them for it.8. ...And they admit their mistakes.
Uncertainty breeds unnaturalness and pretense; Trust breeds sincerity and honesty. This is why confident people always admit and voice their mistakes. They learn from their failures and failures, and they are not afraid to let their failures become a cautionary tale for others. Confident people are not afraid to become a source of laughter. When you have full confidence in yourself, you won't be afraid to look "wrong" sometimes. If you are a sincere and unpretentious person, people don't laugh at you. They laugh with you.9. They only look for approval from people who really matter to them.
Say you have a ton of followers on Twitter? Five thousand friends on Facebook? Cool. Professional and social network consisting of hundreds or even thousands? Amazing. But all this pales in comparison to the well-deserved trust and respect of the few people in your life who truly matter to you and whose opinions and support are priceless to you.You are standing on the seashore. A wave rises, followed by another higher one, then an even higher one. And when the waves go down, they appear before you in the rays of the setting sun - confident people. See how they shine and shimmer under the sea drops, you can look at them endlessly!
About confident people
You are standing on the seashore. A wave rises, followed by another higher one, then an even higher one. And when the waves go down, they appear before you in the rays of the setting sun - confident people. See how they shine and shimmer under the sea drops, you can look at them endlessly!
In fact, confident people are much less mythical and much more prosaic than it might seem from the seashore. Moreover, at Self-confidence is a skill that absolutely anyone can acquire. Let's see what myths surround self-confident people, and what is true.
Myth 1: Confident people succeed in everything.
I don’t know about you, but I associate confident people with successful businessmen from Northern Manhattan or with handsomemen with irresistible appearance who take from life whatever they want.
In reality, both successful businessmen and beautiful women face the same number of failures as everyone else. Moreover, the higher a person rises, the more serious his failures.
However, what distinguishes self-confident people from everyone else is that after failure they get up, dust themselves off and move on. People who are unsure of themselves after a serious failure, as a rule, stop and back away.
Confident people don't expect to get something right the first time. They are confident that they will overcome as many “first times” as necessary. And this has nothing to do with the appearance or thickness of the wallet. Try it and you will be one step closer to self-confidence. Only then will you have to face the following myth...
Myth 2: Confident people are not afraid.
They're afraid, yes. But they overcome their fears. What do you think is courage - the absence of fears or the ability to overcome them? In my opinion, there are no fearless people. Fearlessness is a rare disease characterized by destroyed amygdalae in the brain. People who do not have this disease are afraid.
If you look at the biographies of many professional athletes, their path to sports and medals began precisely with fear, which they compensated for with sports. Confident people have personal history overcoming fears and making friends with them.
Confident people know that the very presence of fear is not something shameful - fear is one of the basic human feelings necessary for self-preservation at lower levels and for making decisions at higher levels.
However, insecure people believe that fear is shameful. It is a shame to be afraid, especially to be afraid of small things. But no, there's no shame in being afraid. But to be afraid to be afraid is shameful.
Myth 3: Confident people will give advice and teach you how to be confident.
Confident people don't give advice in the first place., instead they listen because they understand that they have two ears and one mouth on purpose. Secondly, they don't know anything about your life. And even if they do know, they are sure that they do not know, because they are not you.
That is why The fundamental principle of psychology is not to tell a person what to do. And even if your psychologist, to whom you tell everything about yourself, does not tell you how to behave, then the person who knows your consciousness much more superficially will not tell you.Those who teach you how to live are precisely those who are not confident in themselves and seek to compensate for the uncertainty in their life by experimenting with yours.
However, a confident person can do something better: show you how confident people make decisions and behave. Do you feel the difference? He will not teach you, you will learn yourself.
Myth 4: Confident people have always been this way.
Self-confident people are not born. But do you know what people are born like? Insolent. Unfortunately, many people confuse self-confidence with arrogance. For some reason, it is believed that impudent people are confident in themselves, although in fact they compensate for their lack of self-confidence in this way.However, impudence is one, very limited pattern of behavior.
Self-confidence is a flexible skill that is developed by different responses to different situations. Self-confidence is taking the risk of leaving your comfort zone and experimenting with consequences.
People who develop experimentation in themselves more easily and quickly master the skill of self-confidence. They try new things, try themselves in different social situations, test their strength.
Gaining self-confidence is more of a workout. Today you can increase your self-confidence length jump by one and a half meters, and tomorrow - by training - by 1.80, and the day after tomorrow by two.
Myth 5: Confident people exist.
The biggest myth. There are no self-confident people.
There are people who overcame their fears, gained experience and awareness, learned to hear themselves and adequately perceive the circumstances of their lives - in a certain area or several areas. However, as the group REM sang: “Life is big. It’s bigger than you and bigger than me.”
You may gain confidence in one area of your life and remain unsure in another. How do you like a person who feels confident at work, being successful businessman, but doesn’t know what to do with his family, how to behave with his wife and how to raise children? The example is absolutely real and far from isolated.
And you know what, this is absolutely normal. Become CONFIDENT in new area life is a new challenge. If you master this skill in one area, it will become much easier in another.
Life is a continuous learning process. Becoming more confident in areas of your life that are important to you is part of studying. And this part is subject to everyone, regardless of age, gender or social status. You just have to want it.published
Self-confidence comes in many forms, from the arrogance and arrogance of Floyd Mayweather to the quiet faith of Jane Goodall. True self-confidence, as opposed to the false one with which people mask their shortcomings, is valuable in itself.
When we talk about confidence, one thing is true - truly confident people always have an edge over those who constantly doubt themselves, as they inspire others and make dreams come true.
If you think you can, you're right. If you think you can't, you're right too. Henry Ford.
Ford's quote tells us that mindset affects the ability to achieve success. According to a study from the University of Melbourne, confident people are more likely to receive raises and promotions.
Of course, self-confidence is important, but what separates confident people from the rest?
Here are 12 habits and behaviors of confident people that you can successfully adopt and put into practice.
1. The source of their happiness is themselves
Happiness is an integral part of self-confidence. It is impossible to enjoy what you do if you are not happy.
Confident people receive satisfaction from their achievements and never think about what others think about them. They know for sure that outside opinions rarely correspond to the truth.
2. They don't judge anyone.
Confident people never judge others because they know that there is something good in everyone. In addition, they do not need to assert themselves at the expense of other people. By trying to compare ourselves with others, we only impose additional restrictions. Confident people do not waste time evaluating others and do not worry about meeting their expectations.
3. They disagree with things that actually make them uncomfortable.
A study conducted at the University of California San Francisco proves that people who find it difficult to say no are more likely to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Confident people know that refusal is okay, and their self-esteem allows them to refuse without leaving others in any doubt about their intentions. When it comes time to say “no,” confident people avoid phrases like “I don’t think I can do it” or “I’m not sure.” They say “no” confidently because refusing new obligations will help them fulfill existing responsibilities more effectively.
4. They listen more often than they talk.
Confident people listen more often than they speak because they don't have to prove anything. Confident people listen and pay attention to those around them, and therefore have greater opportunities to learn and grow. Instead of seeing interactions with others as an opportunity to show off, they focus on socializing because they know it is a more enjoyable and productive approach.
5. They avoid ambiguity
Confident people rarely use phrases such as “Um...”, “I’m not sure...”, “I think...” They use specific affirmative phrases because they know that mumbling and slurred speech interfere with getting the point across. to the interlocutor.
6. They value small victories.
Confident people love to test their strength and compete with others, even if the victory is very small. With a victory, even a small one, additional androgen receptors appear in our brain, which are influenced by testosterone. As a result, we gain self-confidence, motivation and readiness for new challenges. This way, a series of small victories will give you confidence for the next few months.
7. They play sports
Research conducted in research institute Eastern Ontario, shows that people who exercised twice a week for 10 weeks felt more competitive. In addition, they had high self-esteem and valued their appearance. Best of all, exercise leads to increased self-confidence, and this is felt instantly, immediately after the release of endorphins into the bloodstream at the moment of exercise.
8. They don't seek other people's attention.
Often, those who seek the attention of others cause involuntary rejection. People quickly evaluate your attitude towards them, and therefore the right attitude attracts them more than other factors (for example, the presence of acquaintances and position in society). Confident people always have the right attitude towards others.
They know how to distribute their attention. If they receive their share of recognition, they quickly shift their focus to those who helped them succeed. They do not seek approval or praise because they already know their worth.
9. They are not afraid to make mistakes
Confident people are not afraid to make mistakes. They openly express their opinions to check their correctness. They know how to learn from their mistakes and teach other people if their opinion turned out to be correct. Confident people know what they are capable of and do not perceive a mistake as a personal failure.
10. They are not afraid to take risks
When a confident person sees an opportunity, they take it. Instead of worrying about possible failure, they ask themselves, "What's stopping me? Why can't I do this?" and then throw themselves into the thick of things. Fear does not hold them back because they know that those who do not try their hand will never succeed.
11. They acknowledge other people's accomplishments.
Insecure people constantly doubt their abilities, and therefore constantly try to criticize and judge others in order to prove their worth. Confident people, on the other hand, do not worry about their self-worth because the outside world does not affect their self-esteem. Instead of focusing on their own thoughts, confident people focus on those around them, which allows them to see the benefits they bring. As a result, they are able to positively evaluate other people and recognize their merits.
12. They are not afraid to ask for help.
Confident people know that asking for help does not make them weak or stupid. They know their strengths and weaknesses and look for others to fill the gaps. They also know that they can learn new things from other people, thereby improving their skills.
To sum it up,
we can say that gaining self-confidence is a process, not an end goal. Please share your thoughts with me as... I learn from you as much as you learn from me.
Dr. Travis Bradberry, linkedin.com
Translation: Airapetova Olga