To be and not to seem to read. Be, not seem to be. Reflections on True Success - Stephen Covey. Create your own scripts

Stephen Covey

Be, not seem to be. Thoughts on True Success

STEPHEN COVEY

PRIMARY GREATNESS

THE 12 LEVELS OF SUCCESS

Published with permission from FranklinCovey Company

Legal support for the publishing house is provided by law firm"Vegas-Lex".

FranklinCovey and the FC logo and trademarks are trademarks of FranklinCovey Co. and their use is by permission.

* * *

This book is well complemented by:

Great Thoughts

Stephen Covey

Igor Mann

Make yourself

Tina Seelig

Take or give?

Adam Grant

Without self-pity

Eric Bertrand Larssen

Introduction by Sean Covey

The future of my father, Stephen Covey, was predetermined. My grandfather owned a very successful chain of hotels, and of course, the eldest son - my father - had to continue the business.

But my father felt a craving for teaching. The pull was irresistible - everything in him cried out to be heard. And he decided to teach, no matter the cost. He saw amazing potential in his students, and he was consumed by the need to let this potential come true. But he could not forget about what his grandfather wanted for him, and decided to talk to him. However, he was afraid that his grandfather would not understand him.

And then one day my father made up his mind and told my grandfather that he really dreamed of becoming a teacher. The grandfather replied: “Great, son. You will make a great teacher. To be honest, I don’t really like business that much myself.” This is how Dr. Covey became a university professor, a writer, and, in fact, one of the world's foremost thinkers in such areas as leadership, organizational management, family issues. And all because I found the courage to answer my own need and find my own voice.

He helped others find their voice too. I once asked my father to define what leadership is. And he answered: “Leadership is the ability to communicate to another person what his value and his potential are, and to do this so clearly and clearly that the person, having received a charge of inspiration, recognizes these qualities in himself.” It was the first time I heard exactly this definition, and it touched me. Why? Yes, because these words spoke a lot about himself. He always managed to make me understand what my value was and what my potential was, even when I didn't see it in myself. He made me feel powerful, like I had an important mission. And he aroused the same feelings in my brothers and sisters and in everyone who surrounded him. He believed that every human being has his own purpose, that each of us is infinitely valuable and has extraordinary capabilities, and that each of us is unique.

My father was a great teacher - above all, he taught us by example and by his words. His views determined my entire life. He constantly told me that there are only two paths in life - a life of true greatness and a life of false greatness. True greatness is what a person really is: his character, his integrity, his true motivations and desires. False greatness is popularity, titles, position in society, fame, fortune and honors.

My father taught me not to think about false greatness and focus on true greatness. He also said that false, secondary greatness often - although not always - accompanies those who have achieved true greatness, and that true greatness is in itself a reward, since it bestows peace of mind, a sense of self-worth and deep, full of meaning relationships. This reward far outweighs the benefits that false greatness brings—money, fame, and that selfish, gratification-filled existence we so often call “success.”

I am writing this preface three years after my father's death. But his voice - deep, soulful - was preserved in these essays. When preparing them for publication, we changed practically nothing - the texts remained as they were when they had just come out from his pen. We simply put them in order to create a coherent story about how to live a life of true greatness. Some of the essays were written while my father was working on The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and it is amazing to see how what he first formulated in those outlines turned into ideas that changed the world of business and the lives of millions of people. In this book you will find amazing and inspiring reflections on how to move from the cheap tinsel of what is called “success” to a meaningful, full life. peace of mind, satisfaction and wisdom.

The lives of many of us are full of problems, disappointments, and dissatisfaction. But what is often presented as a “solution” to a problem is, in fact, only a superficial remedy. This book offers real healing in a world ruled by aspirin and Band-Aids.

I have faced painful challenges in life, and I have learned first-hand that what my father taught me—the principles that are taught in the book—gave me and my family the courage and confidence to move forward, work, and be happy. These principles will help you too.

Preface

When the Titanic set off on its first – and last – voyage, there were 614 sun loungers on its decks. Every morning, the crew would lay out these sun loungers and arrange them in such a way that passengers would want to dive into them and soak up the decks. Passengers were free to rearrange the sun loungers according to their wishes.

It is clear that when the Titanic began to sink, it never occurred to anyone to “arrange the deck chairs in accordance with their desires.”

Now, when we talk about someone “rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic,” we are talking about doing meaningless and trivial actions instead of doing something important, something that can change a life. Because this is the last thing in life - rearranging the sun loungers on a sinking ship. The latter - in the literal sense.

But why then is this the first thing many of us do?

“Rearranging the sun loungers” means passing off appearances as reality, worrying more about the external image than the internal content, and placing priorities in the opposite order.

This is what we all do. We do everything topsy-turvy.

And the result? Missed shots, ruined careers, broken families, poor health, failed companies, lost friendships, lives buried under the rubble of bad decisions.

This is exactly what happened on the Titanic, which sank in 1912 and took 1,517 lives. The requirement “Safety First” turned out to be the last in a series of priorities. The ship was moving at full speed through dangerous ice fields. There weren't enough lifeboats for everyone. There were no safety drills, so when the disaster happened, passengers had no idea what to do.

The story of the Titanic once again confirms the truth of Goethe's saying: “The most important things should never be subordinated to the least important.”

How many of us choose to highlight things that don't really mean anything?

How many of us allow our own interests to take precedence over those we are responsible for?

And how often do we be nice to those about whom we then, behind their back, do not hesitate to say nasty things?

And aren’t we more cordial and fair towards strangers than towards our loved ones - those people who mean much more to us than strangers?

And don’t we strive to snatch more, but give less?

Are we sacrificing long-term success for short-term success? And do we really value the external gloss, the tinsel of success (deck chairs) above peace in our souls and the satisfaction of the real benefit we can bring (saving the ship)?

Stephen Covey believed that true greatness is the kind of success that accompanies a person's true contribution. The external attributes of success - position in society, popularity, image - are the essence of false greatness. When you observe the actions and behavior of celebrities, famous athletes, big bosses, movie actors and other similar audiences, you see the brilliance of false greatness.

Stephen Covey

Be, not seem to be. Thoughts on True Success

STEPHEN COVEY

PRIMARY GREATNESS

THE 12 LEVELS OF SUCCESS

Published with permission from FranklinCovey Company

Legal support for the publishing house is provided by the Vegas-Lex law firm.

FranklinCovey and the FC logo and trademarks are trademarks of FranklinCovey Co. and their use is by permission.

* * *

This book is well complemented by:

Great Thoughts

Stephen Covey

Igor Mann

Make yourself

Tina Seelig

Take or give?

Adam Grant

Without self-pity

Eric Bertrand Larssen

Introduction by Sean Covey

The future of my father, Stephen Covey, was predetermined. My grandfather owned a very successful chain of hotels, and of course, the eldest son - my father - had to continue the business.

And then one day my father made up his mind and told my grandfather that he really dreamed of becoming a teacher. The grandfather replied: “Great, son. You will make a great teacher. To be honest, I don’t really like business that much myself.” So Dr. Covey became a university professor, a writer, and, in fact, one of the world's outstanding thinkers in such areas as leadership, organizational management, and family issues. And all because I found the courage to answer my own need and find my own voice.

My father taught me not to think about false greatness and focus on true greatness. He also said that false, secondary greatness often - although not always - accompanies those who have achieved true greatness, and that true greatness is in itself a reward, since it bestows peace of mind, a sense of self-worth and deep, complete meaning of the relationship. This reward far outweighs the benefits that false greatness brings—money, fame, and that selfish, gratification-filled existence we so often call “success.”

Title: To be, not to seem. Thoughts on True Success
Writer: Stephen Covey
Year: 2015
Publisher: Mann, Ivanov and Ferber (MYTH)
Age limit: 12+
Volume: 200 pages.
Genres: Foreign business literature, Popular about business

About the book “To be, not to seem. Thoughts on True Success" Stephen Covey

Stephen Covey is a recognized management expert, teacher and consultant on organizational management issues. His books have been translated into 40 languages and sell millions of copies.

In this book you will find previously unpublished thoughts and ideas of the author. But this book is very different from all the other works of Stephen Covey. In this manual, the author tries to convey to the reader the idea of what true success actually is. Looking at famous and rich people, we involuntarily admire them. Are they successful? We think so. But is it? Is wealth really an indicator of success? Why then do many famous people commit suicide? The author proves that all the external glitter and tinsel has no meaning when you are forced to play a role that does not allow you to appear to the public as you really are.

A person’s popularity in society, status, image - these are all superficial, incoming things that often replace our real, correct view of the world. Being yourself is true greatness and success. Love your loved ones, don’t try on any masks, be who you really are, and not just appear to them. The author raises these and other interesting questions in his book.

This book is some kind of reference guide for identifying your hidden desires and abilities. In each chapter, the author’s reasoning on a specific topic is given, and then practical advice, questions that will help the reader consolidate the material covered and make a deep analysis of what he read.

You should also pay close attention to the following chapters of the book, “Continuous Learning” and “Mentoring.” These sections tell us that if we do not use the acquired knowledge in practice and do not share this knowledge with others, the benefits of such training will be reduced to zero. You can simply read some information and forget about it, or you can try to constantly apply it in practice.

Throw away all the books about success and efficiency, and be a truly happy, soulful person - that’s what Steve Covey wanted to say with this book. Accept yourself for who you are and give love to your neighbors. The most important thing in our life is not to go overboard for the sake of a set goal, but to try to live in complete harmony with ourselves and with the world around us. When we listen to the voice of our own conscience, only then, even in the subconscious, do we make truly correct decisions.

On our literary website you can download the book by Stephen Covey “To be, not to seem. Reflections on true success" for free in formats suitable for different devices - epub, fb2, txt, rtf. Do you like to read books and always keep up with new releases? We have a large selection of books of various genres: classics, modern fiction, psychological literature and children's publications. In addition, we offer interesting and educational articles for aspiring writers and all those who want to learn how to write beautifully. Each of our visitors will be able to find something useful and exciting for themselves.

Download the book “To be, not to seem” for free. Thoughts on True Success" Stephen Covey

This book is a collection of selected essays in which eminent business expert Stephen Covey described twelve fundamental principles great success. True success in life, Covey teaches, comes to those whose lives are filled with true greatness - to those who are guided by fundamental principles, regardless of material rewards and circumstances. In this book, he explains what these principles are, how to internalize them and make them truly your own, how to begin to highlight truly important tasks, achieve outstanding results, and at the same time live in harmony with yourself.

Stephen Covey

Be, not seem to be. Thoughts on True Success

Introduction by Sean Covey

The future of my father, Stephen Covey, was predetermined. My grandfather owned a very successful chain of hotels, and of course, the eldest son - my father - had to continue the business.

And then one day my father made up his mind and told my grandfather that he really dreamed of becoming a teacher. The grandfather replied: “Great, son. You will make a great teacher. To be honest, I don’t really like business that much myself.” So Dr. Covey became a university professor, a writer, and, in fact, one of the world's outstanding thinkers in such areas as leadership, organizational management, and family issues. And all because I found the courage to answer my own need and find my own voice.

My father taught me not to think about false greatness and focus on true greatness. He also said that false, secondary greatness often - although not always - accompanies those who have achieved true greatness, and that true greatness is in itself a reward, since it bestows peace of mind, a sense of self-worth and deep, complete meaning of the relationship. This reward far outweighs the benefits that false greatness brings—money, fame, and that selfish, gratification-filled existence we so often call “success.”

I am writing this preface three years after my father's death. But his voice - deep, soulful - was preserved in these essays. When preparing them for publication, we changed practically nothing - the texts remained as they were when they had just come out from his pen. We simply put them in order to create a coherent story about how to live a life of true greatness. Some of the essays were written while my father was working on The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and it is amazing to see how what he first formulated in those outlines turned into ideas that changed the world of business and the lives of millions of people. In this book you will find amazing and inspiring reflections on how to move from the cheap tinsel of what is called “success” to a life of meaning, full of peace of mind, satisfaction and wisdom.

Preface

It is clear that when the Titanic began to sink, it never occurred to anyone to “arrange the deck chairs in accordance with their desires.”

When the Titanic set off on its first - and last - voyage, there were 614 sun loungers on its decks. Every morning, the crew would lay out these sun loungers and arrange them in such a way that passengers would want to dive into them and soak up the decks. Passengers were free to rearrange the sun loungers according to their wishes.

It is clear that when the Titanic began to sink, it never occurred to anyone to “arrange the deck chairs in accordance with their desires.”

But why then is this the first thing many of us do?

“Rearranging the sun loungers” means passing off appearances as reality, worrying more about the external image than the internal content, and placing priorities in the opposite order.

This is what we all do. We do everything topsy-turvy.

And the result? Missed shots, ruined careers, broken families, poor health, failed companies, lost friendships, lives buried under the rubble of bad decisions.

The story of the Titanic once again confirms the truth of Goethe's saying: “The most important things should never be subordinated to the least important.”

How many of us choose to highlight things that don't really mean anything?

How many of us allow our own interests to take precedence over those we are responsible for?

And how often do we be nice to those about whom we then, behind their back, do not hesitate to say nasty things?

And aren’t we more cordial and fair towards strangers than towards our loved ones - those people who mean much more to us than strangers?

And don’t we strive to snatch more, but give less?

True greatness is inside, it does not catch the eye. True greatness lies in the very essence of man. False greatness is external. As Dr. Covey taught, "Many who have false greatness - that is, public recognition of their talents - lack true greatness and positive qualities." And sooner or later this manifests itself in their relationships with other people - with a business partner, with a spouse, a friend, or with their own child experiencing teenage problems. This is where true character comes into play. Emerson once said, “The way you look muffles what you have to say.”

True success in life comes when a life is filled with true greatness - when a person is guided by duty, honor, dignity, perseverance, self-sacrifice and service, regardless of material rewards and circumstances. These are natural, universal, inviolable principles. They are unchanged for everyone, everywhere and at all times. The pursuit of false greatness, if you do not possess true greatness, gives nothing. You can’t build a successful life on quicksand, just as you can’t build it on the external trappings of fame. It can only be built on a granite foundation of unshakable principles.

However, the irony is that often - although not always - false greatness accompanies true greatness. People endowed with good and positive qualities become winners simply because those around them trust them. Their hard work usually brings good and reliable results, and sometimes even prosperity. Their work ethic earns them love and loyalty. And this is the natural outcome of true greatness. Although, of course, there are no guarantees: respectable people, like everyone else, can also, for example, get sick, and they can be haunted by failures. Plenty of good, decent people work hard all their lives, but... financial success they never achieve it. But those who strive for true greatness enjoy a special sense of contentment and peace that those who crave false greatness cannot achieve, because the latter understand deep down that they are missing something very essential.

Many people confuse success with false greatness. They bend over backwards to get everything that will speak of their success, but do not want to admit to themselves what they really are. Real success is expensive, but they don't want to pay that price, so they look for roundabout ways that would allow them to achieve success without much work. They give a false impression. They pretend to be friends.

Many people can admit that they have had similar thoughts from time to time. However, negative traits such as selfishness, laziness, procrastination, dishonesty also have consequences.

In our age of false greatness, polls public opinion matter much more than ethical convictions, and external gloss has much more influence than internal content. And yet, deep down in our souls, we feel that a successful life is a life in accordance with principles, that outer success is nothing unless it is based on inner success. We want our children to achieve internal success. We want the same for ourselves. “According to Gallup polls, more than 90 percent of American adults adhere to the ideas of honesty, democracy, tolerance of other races and cultures, patriotism, friendship, family values, moral courage and the Golden Rule of morality.”

This intuitive idea also has scientific grounds. Scientists studying skills and identifying the hallmarks that underlie success no longer focus solely on intelligence and talent: many see character as the main characteristic that leads to success. Take, for example, the famous Perry Project, in which researchers followed children for decades to identify the factors that contributed to their life goals and callings. The project started in 1965 in Michigan, the object of study was 123 children preschool age. The children were taught to “focus on often boring tasks... follow a plan... delay gratification.” In other words, they were instilled with character. Half a century later, this technique made itself felt in the way the lives of the project participants turned out. Compared with peers from the same environment - namely, from a very disadvantaged neighborhood with a predominantly African American population - they had a much higher level of education, twice as much employment and significantly higher income; at the same time, they were half as likely to be brought to the police and arrested.

Interestingly, the original goal of the Perry Project was to raise the IQ of children. But this just didn’t happen, but something else happened - their SQ (success quotient) - success rate - increased significantly, which once again emphasizes the value and importance of character.

Stephen Covey was convinced that character is much more significant factor in achieving success rather than talent, intelligence or circumstances. Therefore, he dedicated his work to ensuring that people around the world recognized this fundamental truth and changed their lives in accordance with it. Thousands and thousands have achieved this through training or simply by carefully studying his books. Today, very young people in schools and colleges on all continents are mastering these principles - for them FranklinCovey has developed a full-fledged training course, “The Leader in Me.” The results can truly be called remarkable because those who have taken this course recognize the difference between true and false greatness and learn to live in pursuit of true greatness.

How do the principles of true greatness become part of our existence? Isn’t character inherent in us from birth and is it possible to change it?

Yes, it is not easy, but character can be changed. As Dr. Covey taught, we have the power to choose our own course of action. Human character can be likened to a culinary recipe: a cup of hereditary properties, a tablespoon of environment, a few ounces of luck, but you are free to decide what to cook from these ingredients.

The key to success is to firmly adhere to unshakable principles and stop making even brief forays to the side. When your goal is to move north without turning, you follow the compass needle. Any deviation and you are already wandering anywhere, just not to the north. This is the cruel reality. Reality, like success, is governed by the same principles, and when you transgress them, you suffer the consequences.

If you violate one of the principles, you do not necessarily immediately feel guilty or even awkward. What's more, you may experience what scientists call "cheater's delight"—the joy of getting away with it. Many people feel pleasure from the fact that they managed to cheat with taxes, deceive the accounting department by presenting fake invoices for a business trip, and say nasty things about someone. Such people feel much higher than all these pathetic simpletons who do not cheat and do not deceive anyone. But even they, deep down in their souls, realize that they have caused great harm to others - and in fact they have harmed themselves, because such actions do not pass without leaving a mark on their character.

Anyone who violates the principles of frugality and spends more than he should is in danger of poverty. Anyone whose bad habits violate the principles by which his body exists, who eats improperly and neglects physical exercise, is in danger of illness and physical infirmity. Anyone who violates the principles of kindness and respect will have more enemies than friends.

Of course, none of these consequences are completely inevitable. But if you look at life through the impartial, realistic filter of probability, you will see that such consequences occur very, very often.

The principles that govern your reality are not questioned. They are beyond your control. They don't care whether you believe in them or not - they just exist. And therefore, you will succeed in life much faster if you adapt to these principles and stop trying to ignore them.

This means you need to take a closer look at your character and figure out what motivates you. You must reconfigure your drives and character traits in accordance with the principles that bring success; and work on negative traits such as procrastination, envy or selfishness.

In fact, it is not easy to go into the “secret garden” of life, as Stephen Covey calls it, and figure out what grows in it. It is not easy to reconfigure your existence in accordance with true principles, but this is the only path to real success.

Principles are like levers. You are unlikely to be able to move a huge boulder, but with the help of a lever you can do it. And the longer and stronger the lever, the easier it will be for you to do this. As Archimedes said, “Give me a lever long enough and I will move the world.” Principles such as honesty, helpfulness, and prioritization are incredibly powerful. Only by persistently and persistently applying these levers can you expect to be able to remove the most serious obstacles from your path to success - such character flaws as selfishness, victimism and deviation from true priorities. If you are a direct, honest person, others will trust you. If you are attentive and not indifferent to people, if you help them, you will achieve best results and get more from people. If you start putting your true priorities first, you won't have to pay the price of wasted time and a wasted life.

In this book, Stephen Covey talks about how to get through important path from an obsession with false greatness to a focus on true greatness. He describes twelve levers of great influence—twelve principles by which to live truly successful people. You will learn how to internalize these principles and make them truly your own.

So here they are:

Integrity

Following priorities

Self-sacrifice

Service

Responsibility

Loyalty

Interdependence

Manifold

Continuous learning

Self-updating

Mentoring

The first lever is integrity, a state in which a person is one and indivisible. The inner world of an integral personality is no different from its external appearance. An integral personality has no secret thoughts or hidden motives. Such people, as Dr. Covey said, have “fully integrated into their existence the whole set of right principles.”

True success can only be achieved when the goal forms a single whole with the inner essence. Once you set this goal for yourself, you will be able to achieve true greatness.

The twelve levers listed above help you move from apparent success to real success; cast aside deeply rooted doubts and become a confident person who feel that life has a solid foundation in the form of natural principles.

Why are we talking about twelve levers?

Even in ancient times, thinkers compiled lists of useful principles. Aristotle's doctrine of virtues and the thirteen virtues that Benjamin Franklin wrote about come to mind. Nowadays, the outstanding psychologist Martin Seligman, based on scientific experiments, has identified twenty-four character traits that determine a full-fledged existence.

Stephen Covey's Twelve Levers - the result of research, long work and communicating with thousands of people around the globe. Covey considered these levers to be fundamental and immutable and listed them according to a certain hierarchy. As already stated, integrity- this is the basis of true success along with contribution- the meaningful and positive legacy that we leave behind. Following priorities allows us to create this contribution without being scattered on trifles.

Achieving what will become a true legacy is impossible without self-sacrifice. WITH tinning people need to rise above their own “I” and feel the taste of true success.

In the modern world, the natural principle is increasingly being neglected responsibility. Nobody wants to take responsibility for own success. The difference between those who have true greatness and those whose greatness is false becomes very clear when it comes to taking responsibility for failures and failures: the one with true greatness steps forward and, without shifting the blame to anyone, takes responsibility for himself.

Loyalty- a natural consequence of service. By practicing the principle of service, you build deep and equal relationships with other people. You grow in yourself to trust people, and they grow in trust in you. Closely related to trust is the principle interdependencies- this is the same constant as the law of gravity. Every action has consequences. Consequences occur in every moment of your existence, and the balance of actions and consequences can be positive or negative. You are treated the way you treat others. When you break trust, you invite someone to break trust in you. Retribution may not come immediately, but you will still have to pay.

If you want your success to be maximum, you must value manifold. Whatever you touch - biology or business, politics or production - the same law of nature reigns everywhere: differences overcome uniformity. As Stephen Covey said, “If two people have the same opinion, one of them becomes the odd one out.” By learning to appreciate the driving force of diversity that other people bring to life, you will take another step towards success.

Without lifelong learning And self-renewal you risk falling into stagnation. A person is renewed when he exercises, reads, spends time with those he loves, and engages in spiritual practices such as meditation. In conclusion, you will better understand the principles of true greatness by instructing others - that is, not only by serving as a personal example, but also by teaching.

Together, twelve levers make life easier, but more fruitful. By using them, you strengthen your character and influence on others. On your life's path you will still encounter huge boulders, but your attempts to move them will no longer be in vain.

The twelve levers are by no means the sum total of all the principles of success - there are many others. But these levers are irreplaceable and necessary. Without them it is impossible to truly succeed. This book will help you understand what you need to do to make them an integral part of who you are.

True greatness is a natural consequence of applying these levers.

There is great power in good action.

An understanding friend has a huge impact.

Responsible worker given more and more responsibility.

An integrated personality has powerful moral muscles.

As Stephen Covey said, “...If you want your marriage to be happy, radiate positive energy and do not resort to negative energy. If you want your teen to be more agreeable and cooperative, become a more understanding, compassionate, consistent, and loving parent yourself. If you want more flexibility at work, become a more responsible, responsive, and proactive employee. If you want to be trusted, be reliable. If you want to have your talent recognized, focus on true greatness of character."

Stephen Covey's influence is a global phenomenon. It began with the publication of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People in 1989, and since then, millions of leaders, educators and families around the world have drawn inspiration and support from Dr. Covey's words. If his ideas seem familiar to you, it is because his language has become the language of our time. Phrases such as “be proactive,” “win-win thinking,” “seek first to understand, then to be understood,” have defined the culture in which we live.

However, Stephen Covey's contribution goes far beyond The Seven Habits. The publishers of the book you now hold in your hands have reviewed dozens of Dr. Covey's published articles and selected those that most clearly expressed his views on the principles of successful life. Some of these articles were previously inaccessible to a wide range of readers. And we are confident that Stephen Covey's thoughts will help you change your life: it will become not just good, it will become great.

Dr. Covey's Colleagues