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Do not be afraid of the number of people in need of help. Good deeds always have allies who help to carry out their plans, so the most important thing is to start and run this chain of good.

website wants to tell about those who did not wait for this world to become bright and beautiful, but made it a little better. At the end of the article a bonus awaits you, which will show what the right upbringing is.

1. Jake Austin

Jake turned an old $5,000 truck into a mobile shower, recognizable by the sign "Showers for People". Water is taken from fire hydrants and heated by an external generator.

Inside the truck there are 2 showers, 2 sinks and mirrors. Soap, razors, and other personal care items are provided free of charge by Jake and his assistants.

Why did Jack come up with the idea to organize a mobile shower? He believes that hygiene promotes well-being, restores dignity, and with it hope for a happy future.

2 Bikers Rescue Ink

Many bikers are wary - brutal men with tattoos and a menacing look do not inspire confidence, and it is unlikely that anyone will dare to turn to them for help. And very in vain! Rescue Ink bikers love animals and are always ready to protect someone who can't stand up for himself.

These people break dogfighting rings, take beaten animals from abusive owners, hire private detectives to prove animal abuse.

They built their own shelter, where experienced instructors are engaged in the rehabilitation of animals. Their actions have been approved by many people, and children look at them with admiration and want to imitate them.

3. My 360 Project

Shoe designer Mike Friton has been an innovator in the footwear industry for over 30 years. Mike has patented 14 prototypes for Nike since 1998. In 2011, Friton decided to leave Nike to start his own venture.

$ 35 - this is the amount you can provide sponsorship. This cost includes a pair of shoes and the labor of workers.

4. Phil Packer

Phil Packer was wounded in Iraq in 2008 and suffered a serious spinal injury. The doctors said that Phil would no longer be able to walk, but he decided to prove, first of all to himself, that they were wrong. Packer trained for more than 4 hours a day and in 2009 he took part in the London Marathon, walking about 50,000 steps and a distance of 42 km in 2 weeks. Thanks to Phil, £637,000 was raised. The entire amount went to wounded soldiers and veterans.

On this charity major is not over. In the same year, Phil climbed the El Capitan peak, which is about 910 m high.

5. Ryan Griffin

The idea aims not only to encourage literacy, but also aims to inspire young clients to do good deeds. The books in the Fuller Cut barber shop contain kind and instructive stories.

Ryan has assembled a whole team that is patient and caring with children, helping them learn to read.

When is it not worth helping people and why even sincere help can lead to undesirable consequences?

Selfless help is good. That's how we were all taught back in elementary school. But how right were the teachers and parents when they tried to instill this “truth” in us?

Of course, mercy and a cordial desire to help the needy are worthy of praise. But such altruism is not always useful in real life. We are not talking about situations where universal assistance is meant (donations for an orphanage or a piece of bread given to a starving person). We are talking about situations in which self-serving people "unwind" us on free help in this or that matter, putting pressure on pity. This may be a request to help with business advice, or a ride to a business meeting at the other end of the city in bad weather and so on.

And then, when such requests become regular, and only the one who asks benefits from them, it is urgent to think about it. Are you doing everything right? Let's talk about this in more detail. So, why not help people who can use your sincerity for purely personal purposes?

Do people really need help?

Extremes are always fatal. You can’t put an end to any kind of help by saying to yourself once, as if cutting off: “Never help people!” and continue to enjoy your selfish life.

However, it is worth learning to single out from the general mass those individuals whose gratuitous assistance will cause damage to you personally and does not benefit him. First of all, if your personal time and finances are at the expense.

How often have you been asked for some small things by people with whom you are not at all in a particularly close relationship? And how often did they not even express their gratitude to you after getting what they wanted, or got off with an artificial smile? Agree, such situations were in the life of everyone.

And again - helping someone, you spend your own precious time, which could be converted into a specific amount of money.

Try to think this dogma. After all, it is unlikely that the person who turned to you with a request for a meeting will pay this amount after a joint tea party, at which you, having updated all own forces looking for ways to develop it or solve its problems.

How not to help people who absolutely do not appreciate help?

In order to maintain a cool, judicious mind in such situations, it is necessary to be guided by the following principles.

Other people don't need help. We need to cooperate with them

Just so that help does not make one side worse off, there are a few easy-to-understand rules:

1. Never help people if they can't appreciate it!

   Each one had a story when you want to sincerely lend a helping hand to someone around you. It happens that you from the outside find something in the life of another person that prevents him from achieving success in one area or another. Many of us wanted to point out the problem to a friend at such a moment. But does it need to be done?

   As a rule, after you demonstrate to a person his shortcomings, he will take this demonstration with hostility. Few people know how to take criticism and use it to their advantage. Perhaps your communication will come to naught after this. This scenario brings the most valuable lesson into your life - give advice only when it is asked for. After all, often even the most sincere help will be accepted by others as a desire to convict the person himself of some kind of weakness.

   Even if you clearly know how to act for another person in order to improve their life or succeed in some business, give him the opportunity to make mistakes, do not impose your recommendations if you are not asked for them. Let even close people go their own way, even the wrong one from your point of view.

2. You should not help people for free if it directly concerns your field of activity.

   Where does this rule apply? Take, for example, the situation: you are an interior designer and your job is the development and visualization of interiors. In addition to the fact that such creative work It can often seem to outsiders and people not familiar with the field of design to be something simple and not taking much time, so such acquaintances also have a habit of asking you to design an interior for themselves personally. For what reward? Naturally, free of charge, “out of old friendship”. After all, in their opinion, this is normal. This is where the trick lies.

   The main skill that you need here is the ability to clearly and politely refuse. And it's not rude - it's necessary measure without which your capital risks to decrease. Do not evade the request, hiding behind the fact that “now there is no time” - “later” will come and you will hear the same request again. The best move here is to act as openly as possible, if possible, to offer a discount on that very “old friendship”.

3. Do not help people if you are not confident in your own abilities.

   You may notice that this advice is a little out of the general outline of the topic under consideration. But it is no less important than all that has been stated above. It happens that we sincerely want to help a person dear to us and are eager to do it as soon as possible. Often such a sincere desire does not allow a sober assessment - but can we really provide a person with truly qualified assistance? Shall we hurt?

   The essence of the described principle is extremely simple - you should not rush into battle if you probably don’t know what to do. Having the brightest motives and undertaking to help people in what you yourself are not very familiar with, you can decently “break wood”. Then time will be wasted, and even your own reputation may deteriorate in the eyes of a person you respect. Especially when the result cannot be achieved, and the person will not be able to evaluate the attempt itself.

How not to help people who do not appreciate help, and not to live with remorse?

Be simpler in relation to yourself and do not blame yourself for refusing to help a friend the day before. Your gratuitous support is needed only when you sincerely want to help, and the person really needs your help.

Not when you pull him out by the collar, not when you “love him to death”, not even when you selflessly do everything without expecting anything in return.

If a person with whom neither time nor desire connects you with any blessings awaits you, be sure of your refusals and do not be afraid to upset anyone because of the norms of politeness. And if you undertake to lend a helping hand, voice an honest price for this very help. People do not need to help when your help is not a way to solve the situation, but an excuse to throw problems.

Do you need to help people? To whom, when and why?

Before, it seemed to me that help should be provided to everyone and always, literally turn people into happiness. And I was very upset when my brilliant smart tips and articles turned out to be unclaimed and not applied in life.

In especially difficult periods, I began to hate ungrateful people who did not understand what gift and light I bring to them. I vowed to do anything for others. But nothing good came from this hatred. Over time, I let go, and I began to write again. Sometimes I received words of gratitude, warm reviews came to me, and this gave me peace for a while. But I was always worried about the question - why do people not take help, which is so generously and freely distributed?It would seem, eat - I don’t want to, why don’t you eat, huh? For you, bastard, I try. For you to be happy and successful.

And then I understood everything.

Five years ago, I participated in a seminar, which provided an opportunity to get answers to exciting questions. To do this, I had to fill out a questionnaire and send it to the master. I was promised to answer and give recommendations for life.

I filled out the form and waited. I waited and waited, but there was no answer. I was overwhelmed with anger and indignation - how it was that I had been so deceived. I shared my thoughts with a person who had been to this master's seminar many times. And he told me: "Masha, there is no request for help in your voice" . I was surprised: "How is it not?". And he answered me something like: “You are your own question. You need to be in a state of questioning, not of receiving an answer.”

I didn't immediately understand what that meant. But if a person who simply attended the seminars heard this, then the master certainly understood everything. A little more indignant, I accepted it as the truth. Something inside told me that it was. And after some time, it really became very difficult for me, and at that moment I realized what a true request for help is. I wrote to the master, asked my question and he answered me.

I came out of that situation with the understanding: as long as a person is not ready to hear the answer, as long as he does not yearn for help, he will never be able to take it in full measure. Any help would be like eating into a full stomach. Something may come in, but, in principle, you need to be prepared for a person to vomit.

I want to tell you two parables.

The first is about a dog on a nail:
One day a man was walking past a house and saw an old woman in a rocking chair, next to her an old man was swinging in a chair reading a newspaper, and between them a dog was lying on the porch and whining, as if in pain.

Passing by, the man wondered to himself why the dog was whining. The next day he again walked past this house. He saw an elderly couple in rocking chairs, and a dog lying between them, making the same plaintive sound.

The puzzled man promised himself that if the dog whined tomorrow, he would ask the elderly couple about it. On the third day, to his misfortune, he saw the same scene: the old woman was rocking in her chair, the old man was reading a newspaper, and the dog was whining plaintively in his place. He couldn't take it anymore.
"Excuse me, ma'am," he turned to the old woman, "what happened to your dog?"
- With her? she asked. — She lies on a nail.
Confused by her answer, the man asked:
“If she’s on a nail and it hurts, why doesn’t she just get up?”
The old woman smiled and said in a friendly, affectionate voice:
“So, my dear, she hurts enough to whine, but not enough to move.

Second parable about teacher and student who came for advice on how to know the wisdom of life. In response to this question, the teacher took the student and put his head in a bucket of water. He kept him there until the student began to break free. When the student asked what it was, the teacher said, "How much did you want air when you were there?" The student replied that he really wanted to and that was the only thing he could think of. And the teacher said: “When you want to know the wisdom of life, just as it is now the air, you will know it.”

I discovered several truths for myself.
A lot of times people don't need help. It hurts them to whine about it, but not enough to do something about it.
1. They surf the Internet for advice and ideas, absorb tons of information every day, consume everything from pink quotes to philosophical reflections on happiness and life.

But they don't have to REALLY solve their problem. Yes, there are some problems, in general. But they are tolerant. That is, they do not complicate life so much as to get up off the nail and think only about how to find a solution.Not to mention that the most effective advice can be very unpleasant to follow. For example, take responsibility for your life only on yourself and stop pushing the blame on others. Why is it so difficult, I'd rather find something easier. For example, how to raise female energy by shopping. Simple, effective, joyful. Think about life, do some exercises - this is not good ... It must be done quickly and easily.It is better to anesthetize than to operate. It is better to stick a patch than to do a rinse.

2. Helping by force, you deprive people of independence, choice, prevent them from taking responsibility for their lives.

Everyone should make help their personal choice.
There are people who constantly hint that they need help.. At the same time, they are not ready to do anything for themselves. If you have an inner need to help, you rush to the rescue. But since you don’t need help, but only attention, then everything starts here: “Why are you climbing into my life, I didn’t ask you for anything, I did as you said, and look how terrible everything is now, it’s It's all your fault..."

Such people do not know how to be adults. They don't know how to ask for help. They feel it is below their dignity. Therefore, they will do everything so that others begin to offer this help. Because in this case, you can safely refuse, kick back, make an arrogant face and say that you all decided for me here, but I didn’t need it at all. And I didn't ask for anything.

The position of a victim of circumstances and a fool is very insidious. And very manipulative. It has a lot of strength and power. Much more than meets the eye.

To illustrate the principle of non-intervention, I again remembered the parable. She about a man who wanted to help a butterfly out of its cocoon. He saw how difficult it was for her to get out of it and therefore opened it with a knife. But when the butterfly was in the light, its wings were not able to fly. They would be like that if she could make her way through the cocoon on her own and get stronger with the effort. And so she was left with underdeveloped wings and no longer flew. People develop through overcoming, so creating comfortable conditions for them means making them weaker. If they need help, let them learn to ask for it. There is nothing noble in being above asking for help. This is some kind of narcissistic construction, and it certainly should not be something very sublime and holy.

3. People get a lot more value without solving their problems.

This is called secondary benefit.
No matter how difficult a situation a person is in, if he does nothing to get out of there, then he has some kind of secondary benefit: not to grow, not to change, receive bonuses, remain infantile, etc.

There are hundreds of stories of sick people who don't get better just because they stop getting attention when they get healthy. Up to the fact that families are preserved only as long as someone is sick. After all, you can not leave a sick person. And the patient is happy to try - to get sick. You come to such a person with a sincere motive to help recover and get sabotage and aggression in response.

He doesn't need to be treated. He needs to stay sick.

4. Each person has his own path, his own karma, everyone receives exactly as much as he earned by his actions.

When I wish someone help, I think that they need it to alleviate their condition. But how can I know the whole task of his fate? How can I decide for God (the universe, the soul) that this is exactly what is necessary for this or that person. Everyone has his own path. And I know that many of my conclusions and wisdom (if you can call it that) came to me only because I sat in my sorrows until I figured everything out myself. And to understand the forces appeared only when I had sat enough. This is also called "push off the bottom." Recovery begins when it is completely unbearable. And not when it seems like OK.

5. Each person has their own neuroses, values ​​and views.

If a Vedic woman is helped by a success specialist, then there will be a conflict. Although each of them is sure that their path is true and correct. Therefore, before offering help, it would be good to understand whether it will conflict with what is already there.

Accept that another person's vision of life can be very different from yours.
All these truths are true for the vast majority of people. And I am the same. There are questions that scream for a solution, then I give it my full attention. And there are questions that hang in the background.
Of course, it would be nice if they somehow decided, but in general, I will not strain much to solve them.

Today I'm glad that at that seminar the master didn't play along with me in my manipulative game. "do me a good job, but I'm kind of out of business."

There is nothing shameful in asking for help. If I need her, I go for her. It wasn't easy at first. But now I'm much more comfortable saying exactly what I need. I expect the same from others.
Therefore, I decided for myself that I would help only if they asked me about it. And not in half hints, saying: in the hope that I myself will rush to find out what and how, but specifically: "", etc.
You need to learn to recognize your needs, and be able to voice requests.
I don't think anymore and I don't try to guess. I ask: - and do not play the game "Guess what I was offended by."

But the study of the issue of assistance by this side alone did not end for me.
Because if there are those who are helped, then there are those who help. And in this situation, no less depends on them than on those who ask. When I "help" I assume that the other person REALLY needs my help. And most importantly, I think that I know WHAT he needs.

But this is far from being the case.

Recently, a kind person wanted to "help" me by trying to make me a better person. But for me it was not a help, but an impact. So I replied that I would decide for myself whether I wanted to be better or not. Help, even from the best of intentions, can be an illusion. And sometimes banal violence.

What motives drive "helpers"? Far from always clean and bright.

1. Suppose the helper sincerely believes that he knows what will be best for the other.
Sometimes this is true, and sometimes not. Before offering something better, it would be good to find out if the other is ready for this better? Often not ready. Why? See the first five points.

2. The helper tries to assert himself at the expense of another, to satisfy his needs.
Such assistance is especially painful. She goes either through criticism wrapped in a care wrapper: or through passive aggression: or pursues selfish interests: “You cook terribly. I tell you this so that you change your mind and become a better hostess, ”or through passive aggression:“ Something you look bad. Let me give you the number of my beautician? ”, Or pursues selfish interests:“ I want to help you discover your femininity, so you should sleep with me.

3. The Helper wants to raise his own value for himself and for others.
Such people feel very, very noble, bringing light, knowledge and joy to others. When they "help" they feel like saints on a great mission. They gain self-conceit, the halo begins to glow brighter. After all, it is very important and beautiful - to enlighten the ignorant, to make the blind sighted and the disabled healthy.

Unfortunately, this often happens with representatives of helping professions - coaches, coaches, psychologists. They get stuck in their professional identity. They feel alive as long as they help. In their posts on social networks, they constantly talk about how happy they are to live and help people, that their work is the best, that there is no greater joy than waking up in the morning and coming up with another program to bring dark humanity to a brighter future.

It's cool at first. It invigorates and makes you so cool, and the world - bright and smiling. Plus, it seems: since you have been given a magnificent tool that you now know how to handle, then you need to try to fix everyone with this tool. Otherwise, why study?

I was the same. When I first started studying Gestalt Therapy, I was so excited about the possibilities that opened up before me. I went around and told everyone that you need to live as consciously and sincerely as possible, that you need to understand everything about yourself, poke around in your projections and introjects, unfold retroflection, etc.

It is good that life did not give me the opportunity to rest on the laurels of this knowledge. If at that moment I had hundreds of followers, the crown would have grown tightly to the skull, and there would have been no chance to see something different from the chosen point of view.

I hid these thoughts from myself for a long time. Until I realized I wasn't the only one. What kind of problem is faced a large number of helping. They suffer in the same way from the fact that they are not loved, not accepted, not appreciated, not carried in their arms.

When people provide help, they do it primarily for themselves.

I realized that the importance of external recognition was necessary to me because I did not feel my own importance for myself. Helping others made me feel like I was nothing at all.

It took a long time before I found a way out of this trap. I realized that helping others is not at all about holiness, being chosen and special, and the recognition of others no longer affects my sense of self.

It's easy to live when you change other people's lives. It is hard to live an ordinary worldly life without gratitude and worship.

Therefore, first of all, helpers need to deal with these issues:
Who are you without your help to others?
- What will happen to you if you have no one left who needs your help and your bright thoughts?

Self-irony helps very well in working with holiness and the crown. As soon as I begin to feel that a star is on the way, I bring myself back to reality.

Now I don't help anyone. Training and therapy is my job. But now I do not expect that everyone will need it and that everyone will appreciate it. This gives me freedom, I am no longer a hostage to my own expectations. As they say, "do not wake the sleeping, help the awakened."

Everyone makes their choice: to help or not to help, to ask for help or not to ask for help. The main thing is to be as honest with yourself as possible.

Many people say that we live to help others. By helping others, we fulfill our purpose. It is impossible to know how true this is, but it is possible to know well the feeling that we experience when we help someone and see the difference. Something happens, we get a feeling of satisfaction and happiness, we experience a surge of energy and purposefulness.

I don't know if this is proof that helping others is our destiny, but I do know that there are enough reasons to try and help someone when we have the opportunity.

make a difference

We all have a unique set of skills and abilities. Given these abilities, we can either do extraordinary things around us or not. It is entirely up to you whether you want to change your life and what exactly you want to change in it.

Many people set high goals in their lives and want to be remembered as visionaries. They want to change and save the world.

Others want to be remembered simply as good people who are always ready to help and listen to you if you need it.

Which one do you think is better?

The one who changes the world, or the one who helps an individual?

Do what you can with what you have.

You don't have to do incredible things to be remembered, just be around people you can save from meaningless life, and whom you can help begin to lead the life they were meant to live.

Little things matter

Listening to other people's problems without judgment is one of the kindest things you can do. Most people know the answers to the questions they face; they just haven't realized it yet.

By allowing them to talk about their problems, you help them find their way and understand what they should be doing. Sometimes they may need support and help to get started on a new path.

Do something amazing

By changing the life of another person, you can experience incredible sensations, and all this is completely within your capabilities. You can do this by choosing to be a mentor to young, ambitious people. You can help them avoid the mistakes they made themselves, as well as help them learn from the mistakes they will inevitably make in turn.

Fight for someone's rights

You will often see in your life that someone has been treated unfairly. This happens both professionally and socially. Many people who deserve recognition don't get it.

By starting to fight and making sure that others get what they deserve, you will become a real hero. You will thereby make a lasting impact on their lives and be rewarded with love and help in the future when you need it.

The law of karma says that no matter what you do, you will get back three times as much. In this sense, helping other people is a selfish act, but it is still a good deed that you should do without fear, with love and in the knowledge that someday you will be rewarded for it.

Get things done

Compromise is the enemy of long-term commitment. If you have made a commitment to helping someone by being a mentor or advocating for the rights of others, do not stop halfway. Finish what you started. Make sure that there are some changes so that your commitments do not turn out to be empty words.

The difference between stopping halfway and finishing the job will not be that big in terms of execution. necessary work, but for the person you are helping, it will be very noticeable.

Conclusion

In fact, we can all help each other, we can be part of a mechanism that promotes cooperation and, finally, we ourselves can create Better conditions for your life.

In any case, helping other people brings prosperity and happiness to your own life, so no matter the reason why you choose to start helping other people, the help will always come back to you.

Should people be helped? Moral exhaustion or life satisfaction?

Should people be helped? Moral exhaustion or life satisfaction?

Should people be helped? It would seem that there should be no doubt that people need to be helped. However, we all know that, in some cases, we may experience mental exhaustion as a result of our help, instead of feeling natural. life satisfaction helping people. How to help people moral exhaustion was not the result of this assistance?

The only thing that matters is when we try to determine need to help people in a certain life situation, is our inner reason that motivates us To help people.

Is it necessary to help people when you are happy and the feeling of joy of life overwhelms you? Certainly! Help and enjoy life!

In this case, when we make a choice To help people, then we do it because we ourselves are overflowing with positive energy so that it "splashes over the edge" and we feel even greater joy in helping others. If you help other people for this very reason, then you will feel life satisfaction and never allow yourself to be brought to the point of experiencing moral exhaustion.

We help people NOT in order to earn the right to their help. We do not need the help that we can get in return for our help, because we take 100% responsibility for how we feel about ourselves and how we act with ourselves. Self-love is exactly what makes us feel worthy, attractive, peaceful and cheerful people!

When I undertake to help people, simply because in my life I am happy and joy overwhelms me, I do not need their permission to do so. Selfless help is a reward in itself, provided that it comes from love for oneself and others. Satisfaction with life is not, but depends on how I feel. I feel life satisfaction being the kind of person I appreciate.

To love, for me, is to give my time and energy to those who use my help to improve their own health, learning and growth. Helping people who sincerely want to help themselves brings me incredible life satisfaction but it is useless to help such people who do not want to help themselves. In this case, you will feel exhausted and, in the end, you will come to the point that you will constantly experience moral exhaustion. If you undertake to help people because you are happy, but you still experience moral exhaustion, then this suggests that you have other reasons that motivate you to help people.

Is it necessary to help people if, for this, you do not have enough strength and energy? Moral exhaustion

If you do NOT take responsibility for your own self-worth, inner harmony and joy in life, then you probably do NOT have the energy to share it. When you try to help people as a person in need, you may feel even more empty instead of feeling fulfilled by helping others.

• Should people be helped? so that, on occasion, you yourself can turn to them for help, instead of just sharing the excess of your life energy in a natural way? Other people may feel "drawn" to you, feel that you are tying them to you and manipulating them into trying to oblige them with your help, and therefore people may back off. Your help may be perceived as control or even as aggression. People may retreat or go into resistance, not wanting to interact with you. You may end up feeling hurt and moral exhaustion, as a result of such "wrong" help.
• Should people be helped? in order to earn the image " good man"? If you have learned by heart that you are a good person, then you can create your mood by helping other people, but in this case you do it out of fear, a sense of duty or guilt.

  You can help people so that people perceive you as a good person, instead of helping, experiencing a natural need to give good to others. In this case, you yourself have already defined yourself as a good person, you know about it and do not need confirmation from the outside. But when you try to earn the image of a good person, you do not take responsibility for determining your own virtue and worth - you make other people responsible for your self-esteem. This kind of help will never make you feel life satisfaction and by herself.

When you learn to take full responsibility for your self-esteem, peace and joy, then the intention to help people who can benefit from your help will be one of the most joyful experiences in life for you.

How to become such a self-sufficient person who does not require support from outside, whose positive energy "splashes over the edge", take care of loved ones and help them with a pure heart and not expect anything in return, you will learn from the article