We present a column in which columnist Yulia Demina answers your questions together with psychologists. Write about everything that worries you in the comments, and our experts will try to help you.

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The moment of going back to work after maternity leave psychologists call it one of the most important and difficult in a woman’s life. But I hasten to reassure young mothers, as a rule, everyone passes this “exam” with an A! Even if often with tears in the eyes, a feeling of guilt in front of the child, a feeling of professional incompetence, the result is still positive. Ultimately, the woman rebuilds and adapts to new living conditions. Her world now goes far beyond “feed/put down/clean/wash.”

But there will no longer be a feeling of carelessness as before. Never. And be prepared for it. Now, even on the busiest working days, thoughts about your baby never leave you for a minute. Did you eat well? Did you fall asleep on time? How was your walk? God forbid snot! During the first days after going back to work, I kept looking at photos of my daughter on my phone. I really missed you. And upon returning home, she could hug her close and cry. The first week was the hardest emotionally. Then it becomes noticeably easier.

Unfortunately, in Russia HR specialists rarely think about the fact that a young mother needs time to adapt. On your first day of work, you have the same responsibilities as other employees. But you are still not in the know and have a hard time thinking, because you get up at night to feed the baby and don’t get enough sleep, and you need to leave at 18:00 and not a minute later, in order to at least have time to bathe the baby yourself. And it’s good if employees are understanding when you leave work on time, but sometimes you can’t do without sidelong glances. It’s awkward in front of your colleagues, and at the same time you feel guilty in front of your child. And at least burst.

In Europe, for example, HR specialists have developed regulations for the adaptation of young mothers in the workplace. For example, in the first week a woman is allowed to work part-time or only two or three days a week. Employees are advised in the form of recommendations to support the young mother: answer all her questions in a friendly tone, offer assistance in solving work problems, treat sick leave and time off with understanding.

If you decide to go back to work before your child is two years old, I would advise:

1. If possible, leave the baby not with a nanny, but with a grandmother or close relative. Or the nanny must be verified. Well, so that your heart doesn't hurt. I wouldn’t be able to work a day knowing that the baby was with a stranger. Therefore, at the family council it was decided that the husband would go on maternity leave! We switched places. Poor him! In a month he lost 5 kg. But more on that another time.
2. While on maternity leave, we dream about dresses, daily makeup, manicure, hair styling... We'll go to work and then we'll live! Nothing like this. Just as I didn’t have the strength and time for myself, I still don’t. A working woman with a small child is like a squirrel who spins a wheel twice as fast as usual. So, moms, have fun while you're on maternity leave! It's a great time! Despite everything. Honestly!
3. Feelings of guilt among working mothers are common. The main thing is to understand why and for whom you are doing this. If you go to work, you’ll worry that you didn’t spend enough time with your child; if you don’t go out, you’ll still worry that you didn’t do this and that, you missed the chance. Eternal topic!
4. After childbirth, the body fully recovers only after 2–3 years. A woman’s nervous system is very vulnerable all this time. In general, vitamins, glycine and MgB6 help! It would be nice to add eight hours of sleep with a massage to this, but this is when the child goes to kindergarten.
5. Save time. Prepare for several days at once. Freeze cutlets and fish steaks in the freezer. Online shopping is a lifesaver for working mothers. The products will be delivered at a time convenient for you. There is no need to go anywhere. Use the services of cleaning companies once a week. It's not that expensive: 1,500 rubles. – cleaning a two-room apartment. But you save half a day. And you can spend the weekend with your family.

And now your questions:

Victoria, 27 years old, Moscow:

Hello! A month ago I returned from maternity leave to work. My son is 2 years old, a nanny sits with him. And he dotes on her. When the nanny goes home after work, the son cries. I try to calm him down, take him in my arms, hug him, but he breaks free and shouts: “No!” I get the feeling that I am causing complete denial in the child. I am very worried that the child is drawn to the nanny, and not to his mother. Right to tears. Tell me, please, what should I do? Wait it out or quit work?

- Hello! Before the age of 5, a child cannot yet form such a deep attachment that the situation of separation does not affect it. At such a young age, children become most attached to those who spend the most time with them. Although the mother has a special place in this list, now the figure of the nanny has turned out to be a “competing attachment” for the child. To switch it back to yourself, try to strengthen and deepen your son’s affection for you. Spend time with your baby whenever possible, let it be joint activities, even if they are simple: go shopping together, bake cookies, invent and play your own game, hug and kiss your son as much as possible, create your own special rituals.

Agree with the nanny that she also contributes to maintaining your connection with your son. Let them and your baby remember you throughout the day: bring home a flower for mom; we saw something interesting - mom will come and we will tell her; I learned something new - my mother will be happy! And so on. The nanny should not immediately run away as soon as you arrive home. Give your child time to switch from one caring adult to another. It is important that for the child the nanny does not replace the mother, but is her confidant while the mother is not around. Then your attachment to the nanny will work for you. If the nanny does not support you and the conversation does not help, you will have to part with the assistant and look for another. You carried, gave birth and raised your baby! Mom is the most main man for him; even if now his work attachment has shifted to another person, you, it is you, who control the situation. And you have the power to change it.

Regina, 30 years old, Moscow

I have been on maternity leave for three years now. I have two children. Sometimes my mother-in-law helps. My husband disappears all the time at work. In general, in Lately I feel like I've completely fallen out of life. And from the beauty that I once was, I turned into a worn-out horse. And my self-esteem plummeted. I no longer believe that there is life after maternity leave. Well, there’s makeup, heels, dresses, meeting friends, traveling. And it seems to me that I am nothing of myself professionally and will not be able to achieve anything. In general, I feel like a schmuck. I hate household stuff. I catch myself thinking that I want to run away from home... From my husband and children. I'm going crazy? Or is this normal? Please tell me what to do?

– Regina, hello! Believe me, this is a standard situation for women who have been on maternity leave for more than a year without rest. The reason for your emotions is not dislike for your husband and children, but simple physical fatigue and emotional burnout. I see only one way out of this situation - rest and a change of scenery. Ask your mother-in-law to look after the children for three days, and yourself, with or without your husband, go somewhere to relax. Let it be three days in St. Petersburg or any other city. You need to be alone with yourself. And it would be nice to switch from time to time to something other than family. Think about finding remote work, which would not take up much of your time.

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2. If in plans - kindergarten, it would be a good idea to visit there in advance with your baby, introduce him to the teachers, join the group, and greet other children. Let the child know with whom he will communicate and where to spend his time in the future.

3. Start changing your established daily routine. You should teach your child to fall asleep and wake up without his mother. Let one of your relatives - for example, dad or grandmother - take care of the important process of laying it out. If your child has to go to kindergarten, arrange for him to be at home at the same time as in the kindergarten. The same goes for feeding schedules.

4. Give all the people who will be involved in the child's care a leaflet with emergency telephone numbers and all your own available numbers. At the same time, you shouldn’t call home every five minutes to make sure everything is okay.

A very common fear of a young mother when returning to work after maternity leave is to “run down” the house, depriving the child and the rest of the household of their usual comfort. Just decide for yourself that you will have to forget about perfectionism in household chores, and not a single child will be upset because the things in his closet are not laid out in perfect order, and the toys in the nursery are not arranged in a line. Try to plan your new rhythm of life so that you can find more time to communicate with your child, but at the same time so that devastation does not begin in your home.

1. Don’t leave unresolved questions “for later” everyday problems: when you leave for work, mountains of unironed linen, unpaid bills or items in need of repair should not accumulate in the house. Check the condition and replenish it; take inventory of essential items; replenish your stocks of vegetables and cereals that are stored for a long time. Make small homemade preparations - for example, dumplings or lecho, which will help you not spend a lot of time cooking at first.

2. Adopt the Fly lady system (“flying housewife”). Many women approach the “scientific” method of cleaning with skepticism, but in vain: it teaches rational use own time in the process of putting things in order. And think about devices that can save your precious time. Don’t think that they are all “unnecessary luxury items”: for example, the most inexpensive egg cooker or multicooker will prepare a simple but healthy hot breakfast for all household members instead, leaving you extra time to get ready for work.

3. And most importantly, don’t be shy to ask for help. Explain to your family that from now on you will not be able to devote much time to housework, and therefore responsibilities in the family will now be distributed in a new way. Involve your child more actively in helping - even a three-year-old child is quite capable of collecting his own scattered things or cubes with cars.

How painful your exit from maternity leave will be for your baby depends on many factors. Including how much you managed to accustom him to independent actions. It has been noticed that if a mother decides to return from maternity leave to work during the period when the child begins to develop symptoms, then this helps resolve the issue in a less traumatic way.

The laundry is washed by a machine, my husband takes on half the responsibilities after work, I get the children ready for kindergarten, he takes them, he cooks dinner, and at this time I walk with the children (or vice versa). From the first days, our household chores were divided between two people, somehow it’s not a burden, these are ordinary everyday affairs. And I will always find time for myself!

The baby, as it were, declares to the whole world “I am myself!”, and it is in your power to direct his new worldview in the right direction. “Of course, you can sit on the potty yourself and change clothes.” These are minimal skills, without which both the child and the working mother will have a hard time, and which must be instilled in advance. But even when returning home after a stressful working day, you can and should continue to hone these skills, and to do this you need to learn to “switch” yourself.

After finishing work, devote ten to fifteen minutes to yourself - for example, breathe some air on a bench in the park. Or, when you come home, lie down for a while and let yourself relax. Then proceed to evening activities, in which the child who misses you must certainly take part. Let him hang around while preparing dinner and doing a little cleaning.

No matter how tired you are, do not shorten your usual “evening rituals”: ​​the baby must be sure that he will definitely hear you comb his hair, kiss him and stroke his back.

Your weekend should also be filled emotionally: go with your child to the park, to the pool or to the playgrounds. Talk to him more, delving into every little detail of his “new” life. Play together, have fun, laugh, and then the positive emotions you receive will help both you and your baby survive the “separation” of the next work week.

How not to be afraid to go to work after maternity leave? How to answer the question “why you” at an interview? We answered these questions for you.

No matter how long you spend on maternity leave, sooner or later you need to go back to work. It’s scary, and employers don’t want to hire a mother with a small child. Stop being afraid, we have prepared for you 7 pieces of evidence that characterize a woman after maternity leave as a valuable employee.

1. You have taken a break from work and have a desire to work. Maternity leave is not a vacation, but it gives you a break from the hustle and bustle of work, dissatisfied customers, did not prepare reports to management, did not worry about the sales plan and other issues. All this time, you devoted all your time to your small child around the clock, so for most women, work is a break from constantly caring for the baby and household responsibilities.
2. You are not going to get pregnant anytime soon and you are not going on maternity leave anytime soon. A girl who does not have a child will go on maternity leave faster than one who has children. There are few women who repeat such a feat after one or two years after their first baby. The employer definitely has at least a couple of years left, right?
3. Are you happy. Yes, this is directly related to work! A woman who has a beloved husband and child at home feels that her life has taken place, and she has realized herself as a mother and wife. And if your soul is calm, then everything works out with work. It is thanks to internal harmony that you work much better than many colleagues who simply sit in the office, because you firmly know why and why you are here.
4. You have a desire to be fulfilled. This proof follows from point 3. Having established herself as a mother and wife, a woman boldly expresses her creative fantasies and desires to improve in her work and boldly satisfies her creative abilities, ambitions and desires. For many positions, this fact is a huge plus. Employers love it when an employee has a twinkle in their eye. Going to work with joy in the morning and returning home in the evening with a happy smile is a rare success.
5. You won't look for another job. The stereotype that a woman with a small child is not the best worker has not yet been eradicated. The arguments are the same: the child is regularly sick, constant absences from the clinic, kindergarten, etc. Who needs such an employee? Therefore, if you get a job, and there is someone to stay with the child, you will not want to change jobs.
6. You are not asking for a big salary. Usually a woman gets the same salary as before maternity leave. You don't demand a lot of money because you realize that first you need to gain a foothold in your place. You will have to re-join the team and get used to the new rhythm of life. You don't have the opportunity to stay late at work because you have a baby at home.
7. You are working fruitfully. After returning from maternity leave, a woman wants to increase the level of her wages Therefore, he tries to work efficiently and quickly so that management appreciates his zeal. You don't have the opportunity to stay late at work, so everything needs to be done on time or in advance. And considering points 5 and 6, you are a valuable personnel!

If it’s time to go to work, don’t worry. Write our evidence in addition. After all, only you yourself should be interested in proving your effectiveness.

We also read:

Every maternity leave ends sooner or later. And the young mother begins to worry about issues related to returning to work.

Dear readers! The article talks about typical ways to resolve legal issues, but each case is individual. If you want to know how solve exactly your problem- contact a consultant:

It's fast and FOR FREE!

When should this happen? How is it documented? How to return exactly to your position? Will she be able to work as before and under the same conditions with a small child?

Naturally, a woman is worried about going back to work, be it her old place or a new employer.

There are fears that qualifications are lost and acquired skills are lost. Moreover, during maternity leave, a lot in the company could undergo changes: from the composition of the team and management team to the work schedule.

Order

According to the norms, in order to register for maternity leave, a pregnant woman only needs a sheet of temporary incapacity for work received at the antenatal clinic and a statement written in free form.

After submitting these documents, the HR department issues a leave order, which the employee must familiarize herself with under signature. That's essentially the whole design.

If the procedure went this way, then at the end of the maternity period no additional documents are required.

The worker returns to her place workplace upon expiration of the period specified in the order, and proceeds to his labor responsibilities.

Provisions Labor Code The Russian Federation obliges the employer to retain her position for an employee on maternity leave.

It is logical that during the absence of such an employee, a person is hired to temporarily replace her and perform her labor functions.

A fixed-term employment contract is concluded with such an employee for this period. Moreover, the end date of work activity is not indicated in the document. Instead, it should contain the phrase “until the main employee leaves.”

In this case, when the young mother returns to her job, the temporary worker is subject to dismissal on the same day.

How is this indicated in the Labor Code?

The provisions of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation state that an employee has the right to go on maternity leave in connection with pregnancy and the birth of a child.

This, in turn, may include:

After each possible leave, the woman can return to work. Moreover, upon her return, she has every right to apply for exactly the position she occupied before the decree.

The employer, in turn, is obliged to retain the employee’s workplace for the entire duration of such leave (Labor Code of the Russian Federation, Article 256); he has no right to reduce her position, dismiss the employee and hire another employee in her place. permanent basis.

How to write an application

As mentioned earlier, if the employee leaves maternity leave on time, no application is required from her.

By timely we mean leaving exactly on time specified in the order granting the appropriate leave. Then the employee simply returns and continues to perform her work functions.

The need for an application arises only if the employee has decided to return from maternity leave before the end of its term, that is, ahead of schedule.

Then she must visit her employer to write a corresponding statement and agree on exact date return.

The application must be written to the head of the organization. In it, the employee needs to reflect her desire to start work earlier than maternity leave ends and indicate a specific date for her expected return to work.

1. “I ask you to allow early termination of my parental leave for up to 1.5 years (up to 3 years) and return to work duties from __.__.____. full time."
2. Or: “Due to the early return to work and the resumption of work job responsibilities since __.__._____ I ask you to interrupt my maternity leave for a child up to 3 years (up to 1.5 years) ahead of schedule. Consider __.__.____ as the last day of your vacation.”

If there is such a statement, an order or order is issued on the employee’s early departure from maternity leave, since it changes the conditions of the original order, namely the duration of its validity.

The legislative norms of the Russian Federation do not provide for a unified form of such an order. Consequently, it can be of any form with the mandatory content of only certain details and points.

The main thing is that it should reflect information that the employee is starting work ahead of schedule. The employee is introduced to the contents of such an order against signature, after which she can begin work in her position and in her place (Labor Code of the Russian Federation, Article 256).

Is it possible to go on maternity leave again without going to work?

But what should a young mother do and what can she count on if she has not yet returned from leave granted to care for her first child, but is already expecting the arrival of her second?

Can she go from one maternity leave to another without resuming work? What should I do for this and what payments should I expect?

If an interesting situation occurs before the end of the first maternity leave, then upon the arrival of a certain period the woman can again take out maternity leave and receive the corresponding benefit.

But there is one caveat - in this case, a woman cannot receive both benefits and she needs to choose one. Obviously, in the vast majority of cases, an allowance for a second child will be more desirable.

In order to go on maternity leave again, but with a second baby, the pregnant woman must write an application at her place of work.

It should contain a request to terminate early leave to care for the first child and provide a second leave in connection with pregnancy and childbirth.

But there is also one peculiarity here - if you don’t want to lose benefits for your first child, then another family member, for example, a grandmother, grandfather or the baby’s father, can go on unfinished leave to care for him.

Moreover, such payments are due, among other things, to students and unemployed persons who independently or take part in child care.

When the maternity leave period ends, the woman will continue to receive benefits for her first child. But now payments for a second newborn and 1.5 years will also be added to this amount.

If the second pregnancy occurs towards the end of maternity leave, the situation is even better. Then the woman simply smoothly moves from one leave to the second, that is, from maternity leave for pregnancy.

To do this, you must also submit an application to your place of work with a request to issue maternity leave and sick leave. Then all benefits due are processed and accrued in the same way as in the first case.

It should be remembered that there are minimum amounts of payments while caring for both the first and second children.

The benefit calculated in the organization where the maternity worker worked should in no case be lower established by legislation sums

Particular attention should be paid to the second pregnancy, since the amount of benefits for the second child is much higher than for the first.

Is it possible to work part-time?

A clear answer to this question is given in Article 256 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. It states that a young mother, during the period of leave granted to her to care for a child, can carry out labor activity with part-time working hours. She is also given the opportunity to work from home during this period.

If an employee has a desire to leave vacation early with the condition of working part-time, then she and the employer need to sign an additional agreement to the current employment contract.

It should record the following points:

• duration of daily working hours;
• length of the working week;
• work and rest schedule;
• the amount of wages for the period of part-time work.

During this period, the employee’s salary must correspond to the time actually worked or be calculated in proportion to the amount of work performed by her at that time (Labor Code of the Russian Federation).

Saving benefits

The labor legislation of the Russian Federation provides for the continuation of benefits when a woman returns to work early.

But this condition only applies if the employee returns not full-time, but on a part-time basis (part-time).

Information about this is contained in Part 3 of Article 256 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Its provisions allow a woman to work during maternity leave without stopping the payment of benefits until the child reaches 1.5 years of age.

What to do if the employer does not hire you for your previous job?

A woman going on maternity leave probably expects that her employer will be conscientious and honest. And after the maternity leave period ends, she will be able to return to her workplace in her previous position.

Unfortunately, the realities of the modern world indicate quite the opposite. Often, company management, pursuing their own interests, does not express a desire to take back a young mother of a young child.

And this is understandable. After all, many employers prefer it when employees devote themselves entirely to work, and after maternity leave a woman has many other problems and concerns that are not related to work.

In addition, many young children often get sick, which means constant sick leave and interruptions from work.

In the end, the company may undergo some personnel movements, reorganization, layoffs and other events.

Regardless of the reason for such reluctance, the employer flagrantly violates the Standards labor law RF, namely Article 256.

It states that while a woman is on leave to care for a child, she must retain her position.

At this time, she cannot be fired, laid off, or replaced by another employee on a permanent basis (Article 261 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation).

If this does happen, and the employer is categorically against the employee returning from maternity leave, you can consider the following options:

1. Write a complaint to Labor inspection, and then the violator will be obliged to restore such an employee to her previous position and comply with the terms of her employment contract.
2. Quit, but not by at will, but by agreement of the parties or by reduction.

In the first option, the State Labor Inspectorate will be on the side of the worker in 100% of cases, since there is gross violation her rights and labor legislation.

The only question is whether she will want to work in her previous place after such a return, and how her colleagues and superiors will treat her. Most likely, the situation will be extremely unfavorable.

In the second case, the emphasis is placed precisely on the fact that if a woman nevertheless decides to quit, then a statement of her own free will is not an option.

You need to try to agree with the employer on dismissal by agreement of the parties or as a result of layoffs.

Then if a woman while searching new job registers with the Employment Center, unemployment payments to her will be significantly higher than as a result of voluntary dismissal.

Any woman on maternity leave should study in detail all the nuances and features of her situation.

And also the rules relating to this current legislation. This is required in order to know all your rights and, if necessary, be able to defend your interests.

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